Privacy At Pineapple

I’ve heard from a number of people recently asking about patient privacy at Pineapple Support. As a performer myself, as well as someone who has struggled with anxiety and depression, I understand the stigma associated with treatment and take privacy incredibly personally. 

At Pineapple Support, all patient information is kept entirely confidential. Any information provided to us, either in the application process or in conversations after, is governed by patient privacy protections like HIPAA. 

Because social media has been one of the easiest ways for people to reach us, this has sometimes presented a unique challenge. How do we adequately communicate with those in reaching out to us on social, while still maintaining the strict privacy guidelines? Whether we are DM’d personal information, or asked a question about therapy in a thread, the possibility of an inadvertent violation is too risky.

As a result, we will immediately be moving any conversations about their care off of Twitter and other social media, and immediately move them to our official email.

Our social media presence is vital, and from our earliest days, I wanted us to be accessible. To be a friend, not an anonymous bot. Much of that came naturally. For most of the two years since we founded, we’ve had no staff and no salaries. I’ve occupied nearly every role myself — founder and fundraiser, therapy connector to social media voice.  

But even if that helped make us accessible, I don’t want anyone to ever feel that a conversation they’re having with us, whether by DM or tweet, has left them exposed. A patient is free to discuss their condition as openly as they wish. We can not — even in response to a question. 

I will be doing a full review of the conversations that I and anyone else on the team have had on Twitter and social media. To anyone who has felt a discussion inappropriate, you have my deepest apologies, and my commitment that we will work to make this better. 

 

  • Leya

Pineapple Support Adds Dedicated Therapist for Latin American Performers

Pineapple Support has added independent therapist Yiset Mosquera Moreno to its roster of professionals available to provide support to Spanish-speaking performers in Latin America.

“I’m looking forward to using the experience I’ve gained from working with people from all genders and sexual orientations, treating situations like depression, stress, grieving process, self-esteem issues and relationship issues,” said Mosquera. “As a former cam model, I fully understand the difficulties of sex work that can affect mental health and I believe that everyone has the right to ask for mental help when in need, without being judged for their skin color, their gender, their nationality or what they do for a living.”

Leya Tanit, the founder of Pineapple Support, welcomed the opportunity to expand their reach.

“Since we began offering therapy, we’ve realised the incredible demand of adult performers seeking mental health services in Spanish-speaking countries in Latin America,” Tanit said. “We’re excited to welcome Yiset to the team, where her knowledge and experience is going to help many more performers receive the support they need.”

Pineapple Support was founded in 2018. The organization, a registered nonprofit in the United States and a registered charity in the United Kingdom, has connected over 1,000 adult performers to mental health services, including free and low-cost therapy, counseling and emotional support.

Click here for additional details and follow the org Twitter for the latest updates.

July is Parent Performer Month

Pineapple Support will host a free support group and webinar to help adult performers build and nurture strong, supportive relationships with their parents and other family members.

The free Parent and Performer Support Group will run Sundays for six weeks, July 12 to August 16, from 3 to 4 p.m. (PDT). For more information, click here.

A Pineapple rep described the group as “an educational and mild process group that focuses on relational ties in the family. This group will cover the various emotions around the performer discussing or revealing their career choice to their parents and the parents’ reaction to the information and how to communicate and listen in a healthy way as a family and how to accept and support each other.”

The free webinar is titled “Challenges of Family Members of Adult Entertainers” and is scheduled for July 21 at 12 noon (PDT).

The session is designed for “adult entertainers and their family members to discuss the unique challenges to their relationships, which sometimes lead to conflict, estrangement and harmful interconnection,” said the rep. “This webinar addresses many of these challenges with the goal of providing greater understanding and tools to develop healthy methods of interaction.”

Click here to register and for additional details.

Leya Tanit, founder of Pineapple Support, chose the month of July to focus on “providing support to performers to help improve their relationships with their parents or other family members.”

“We are encouraging performers to contribute by sending us videos or writing about their experience with parents and family members discovering they are in the industry, which we will share on our social media platforms,” Tanit continued.

Those who wish to participate should email contact@pineapplesupport.org for details.

Pineapple Support was founded in 2018. The organization, a registered nonprofit in the United States and a registered charity in the United Kingdom, has connected over 1,000 adult performers to mental health services, including free and low-cost therapy, counseling and emotional support.

Find the organization online and on Twitter for the latest updates.

Adultwork Joins Pineapple Support As Bronze-Level Sponsor

Pineapple Support, the adult industry’s leading mental health nonprofit, is pleased to welcome Adultwork as a bronze-level sponsor. The leading adult directory joins over fifty adult businesses and organizations in committing funds and resources to the organization.

 

“We are delighted to become a Pineapple Support Partner,” said Vince Charlton, AdultWork.com’s Business Development Director. “Mental health and wellness services dedicated to adult industry performers are vital and we wholly support Pineapple for providing these.”

 

Pineapple Support was founded by British performer Leya Tanit in 2018, after a string of losses in the adult industry from depression and other mental illnesses. The organisation, which is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit in the United States and a registered charity in the UK, has so far connected over a thousand adult performers to mental health services, including free and low-cost, therapy, counseling and emotional support.

 

“Adultwork’s support and contribution to Pineapple helps us reach even more adult performers around the world. Especially during trying times like those we are currently facing, mental health and wellness is especially important,” says Tanit. “Thanks to the support from all of our generous sponsors, we’re on track to connect more adult performers than ever this year.”

What It Means To Be An Ally

The world feels like it is crumbling apart. Each day we are faced with unprecedented news and new fears. It’s scary and it’s horrifying, and I am filled with so much hope and joy because of it.

It takes complete destruction for rebuilding, to create a new way of living and perception. This revolution and joining together of communities has been sparked by incidents that should never have occurred, but they have forced people to address problems within our systems and within our own minds.

So, what does it mean to be an ally? To me, being an ally is standing up for the rights of a group of people as if they were your own. To use your privilege and transfer the benefits to those who lack it. To put others before you and acknowledge that while you may feel pain, that this conversation is not about you.

An important part of being an active ally is learning the history and struggles of the group of people you are supporting. This doesn’t mean that you should expect them to educate you. This is something you must research on your own.

Make sure to listen to those around you, to their opinions, concerns and experiences. Take the time to question your biases and challenge your assumptions. Working on ourselves and understanding our language is an important part of becoming an effective ally.

With this, we must remember that we are all human, chances are, you will make mistakes. Accept criticism gracefully, learn and grow from it.

Being an ally is more than being sympathetic toward those who are being discriminated against. It’s more than believing in the cause and for equality. Being and ally means you must be willing to act and to take action together with others in the pursuit of ending oppression.

Keep your mind and heart open. Together we are stronger and we can and will make the world a better place.

Pineapple Support, Pornhub To Hold Breathwork Event for International Whores’ Day

Pineapple Support, the adult industry’s leading mental health nonprofit, will host a special event focused on breathwork, sponsored by Pornhub. The event will take place on June 2nd at 1pm EST, coinciding with International Whore’s Day celebrations.

“Sex-workers can often play the role of therapists, taking on the emotions of clients as well as their emotional struggles,” says breathwork specialist and coach Sapphire. “Breathwork is a magical powerful tool for transformation and healing, which allows us access to inner blockages, negative thoughts, emotions and patterns not easily accessed through traditional therapy. This can lead us to releasing emotional baggage and a release of a shift in old patterns resulting in much needed transformation.”

One person attending the event will be randomly selected to receive $100 of Pornhub merchandise, as well as a course of one-on-one breathwork sessions with Sapphire.

“Each breathwork journey is unique and teaches us how we benefit from breathing fully and consciously, at the same time bringing changes into our lives for the better,” says Tanit. “Breathwork can help reduce the symptoms associated with anxiety, depression, PTSD, ADD and insomnia. Join us on June 2nd when together we can release this energy and unite as a community.”

Pineapple Support was founded in early 2018 by British performer Leya Tanit in response to losses in the adult industry from depression, addiction and other mental illnesses. The organisation, which is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit in the United States and a registered charity in the UK, has so far connected over one thousand adult performers to mental health services, including free and low-cost, therapy, counseling and emotional support.

For more information and to sign-up for the Breathwork Event, please visit https://pineapplesupport.org/breathworks/.

Addiction & Recovery – Family

Tips and coping strategies from week 5 of the Addiction Recovery workshop with therapist Nicki Line.

Family

Here are a few concepts that may be relevant to some of your experiences.

 

Differentiation of Self v Fusion

Differentiation of self– The ability to be in emotional contact with others yet still remain independent in your thoughts, feelings, and emotional functioning. People who are well differentiated from others are able to face difficult, emotionally charged problems, and not feel compelled to preach about what others should think, feel, not rush in to smooth the problem over immediately, and not pretend to be attached emotionally.

Fusion– This is essentially the opposite of a well differentiated self.  People who lack differentiation typically set aside individual choices, thoughts and feelings in order to achieve or maintain harmony in the relationship system (this can be a family system, friend system, etc). Fusion occurs when people form intense relationships with others, and their actions depend largely on the condition of this relationship at any given time. When experiencing fusion, an individual’s decisions largely depend on what others will think and how others will react, and if the decision will upset the intense bond of the relationship. People who are not well differentiated may feel that everyone in a relationship system needs to think and feel the same way or else the bonds will be broken. So either they must mold themselves to fit others, or pressure others to think feel and act the same way they do.

 

Transgenerational Trauma

We briefly discussed how trauma can be passed down through our families. Here is a brief overview of transgenerational trauma in families if this feels relevant to you, or you’d like to look more into it.

Transgenerational trauma refers to trauma that passes through generations. The idea is that not only can someone experience trauma, they can then pass the symptoms and behaviors of trauma survival to the next generation, who then might further pass these along the family line.

Transgenerational trauma can negatively impact families as a result of:

  1. Unresolved emotions and thoughts about a traumatic event
  2. Negative repeated patterns of behavior including beliefs about parenting
  3. Untreated or poorly treated substance abuse or severe mental illness
  4. Poor parent-child relationships and emotional attachment
  5. Complicated personality traits or personality disorders
  6. Content attitude with the ways things are within the family

 

Family Genograms

We discussed that not only trauma, but certain patterns of behavior and interaction can pass through families and influence families. One way to take a closer look at patterns in your own family is to construct a family genogram.  A family genogram is structurally similar to a family tree, but it includes information about relationships, interactions between family members, mental illness, substance usage, and more information.  We typically take a look at three generations using a genogram.

 

Here is a guide on family genograms:

https://www.therapistaid.com/therapy-guide/genograms

Addiction & Recovery – Daily Gratitude & Positivity

Tips and coping strategies from week 4 of the Addiction Recovery workshop with therapist Nicki Line.

Our brains are hardwired to find the negative in our lives. It is a survival mechanism to find the threats. But we can do a few small things daily to help rewire the brain to find more balance.  We can do this by taking note of some positive things in our daily lives and practicing gratitude daily.

Here are some prompt ideas for positivity and gratitude. We can practice by daily journaling, acknowledging these things with another person, or simply answering these prompts to ourselves!

What made you smile today?

What went well for you today?

What made you laugh today?

Did you accomplish something today?

Did something go better today than it did yesterday?

What are things you are grateful for?

Did you see someone else do something good for someone today?

What gave you hope today?

Did you have a moment of peace today?

What made you feel good about yourself?

Who is someone you are happy to have in your life?

What do you enjoy about your work?

What is something that makes your life easier?

What is a part of your daily routine that you enjoy?

 

Here’s a bit of information on the benefits of gratitude incase you’re interested:

https://www.forbes.com/sites/amymorin/2014/11/23/7-scientifically-proven-benefits-of-gratitude-that-will-motivate-you-to-give-thanks-year-round/#30cf8fb7183c

https://time.com/5026174/health-benefits-of-gratitude/

If you are interested in a daily guided journal for gratitude here are some options from amazon:

https://www.amazon.com/Gratitude-Journal-gratitude-mindfulness-productivity/dp/108063133X/ref=sr_1_1_sspa?dchild=1&keywords=daily+gratitude+journal&qid=1586183145&sr=8-1-spons&psc=1&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUEzSzIxU0xQNkhCWFlJJmVuY3J5cHRlZElkPUEwMTQ2MDEwMzdNQ0YyVURZS05YTyZlbmNyeXB0ZWRBZElkPUEwOTE0MzgwMUtQT0s0TU5aOFkyQiZ3aWRnZXROYW1lPXNwX2F0ZiZhY3Rpb249Y2xpY2tSZWRpcmVjdCZkb05vdExvZ0NsaWNrPXRydWU=

https://www.amazon.com/Good-Days-Start-Gratitude-Cultivate/dp/1976436184/ref=sr_1_2_sspa?dchild=1&keywords=daily+gratitude+journal&qid=1586183159&sr=8-2-spons&psc=1&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUE3TFZWWVFQMTE3OFgmZW5jcnlwdGVkSWQ9QTA5MDg5MjgyRzRSVzhMMFNXWldaJmVuY3J5cHRlZEFkSWQ9QTAzOTM1NzUyMUk5QlpFVlM1VklIJndpZGdldE5hbWU9c3BfYXRmJmFjdGlvbj1jbGlja1JlZGlyZWN0JmRvTm90TG9nQ2xpY2s9dHJ1ZQ==

 

ROLES IN THE ADDICT FAMILY

The addict

The Enabler- The enabler is the family member who steps in and protects the addict from the consequences of their behavior. The motivation for this may be to protect the addict, or to reduce anxiety, or avoid conflict within the family system.

The Hero- The hero is the family member who attempts to draw attention away from the addict by excelling and being exceptionally “good”. Through their own achievements, the hero tries to bring the family together and create a sense of normalcy. This role is usually taken on by the eldest child, as they seek to give hope to the rest of the family. Unfortunately, a driving need to “do everything right” tends to put an extreme amount of pressure on the hero, leaving them highly anxious and susceptible to stress-related illnesses later in life.

The Scapegoat- The scapegoat is just what you would expect: the one person who gets blamed for the whole family’s problems. This role tends to be taken on by the second oldest child; they offer the family a sense of purpose by providing someone else to blame. They voice the family’s collective anger, while shielding the addicted parent from a lot of blame and resentment.

The Mascot- The mascot tries to deflect the stress of the situation by supplying humor. This role is usually taken on by the youngest child. Providing comic relief is also the mascot’s defense against feeling pain and fear himself.

The lost child- The lost child role is usually taken on by the middle or youngest child. They’re shy, withdrawn, and sometimes thought of as “invisible” to the rest of the family. They don’t seek (or get) a lot of attention from other family member. Lost children generally may put off making decisions, have trouble with forming intimate relationships, and choose to spend time on solitary activities as a way to cope.

 

GROUNDING TECHNIQUES

Here are some ideas for grounding techniques:

  • Hold a piece of ice and focus on the sensations
  • Put a handful of salt in your mouth
  • Sour candy such as war heads, sour patch kids, etc.
  • Place your head in a bowl of cold water.
  • Rub some scented lotion on your hands, focusing on the way it feels and smells as you work it into your skin.
  • Use a water mister to spray your face and/or chest.
  • Pick a hand and tap each finger with your thumb, starting with your index finger and continuing down. Go back and forth until you feel grounded.
  • Keep a bead, pebble, stress ball, a small piece of cloth, or another object of your choice in your pocket and roll it around in your hand(s) when you need to get grounded. You can also use a bracelet or necklace.
  • Run your hand slowly and gently over the carpet or the fabric of a piece of furniture or clothing and notice how it feels when you rub it in one direction versus the other.
  • Put a piece of chocolate in your mouth. Experience the texture, flavor, and feel as it slowly melts.
  • Stretch your arms up over your head as high as you can, then out to your sides, finally pulling your elbows back as far as you can behind your back. Repeat. Think about your muscles flexing and feel their strength.
  • Hug your favorite stuffed animal, a comfy blanket, or a pillow.
  • Take off your shoes and push your toes into the floor or ground.
  • Bite into a lemon or take a sip of lemon juice.
  • Find something in the room that starts with A, then B, then C, and so on.
  • Count backward from 100.
  • Put on your favorite song and really concentrate on the words, the music, and the way it all makes you feel.
  • Write how you’re feeling in a journal that’s designated for grounding and use your favorite pen. Notice how the pen feels in your hand and the smoothness of how it writes on the paper.
  • Play a game on your phone or computer.
  • Breathe in through your nose slowly and deeply until your lungs are full. Slowly exhale through your mouth until your lungs are empty. Repeat, concentrating on the feeling of your lungs expanding and contracting.
  • Pull a mental picture into your mind of your favorite place and imagine you’re there. Think about what you’d be doing if you were really there.
  • Go outside and smell the air or the flowers, trees, or leaves.
  • Jump up and down.

Addiction & Recovery – Boundaries

Tips and coping strategies from week 3 of the Addiction Recovery workshop with therapist Nicki Line.

Boundaries can be identified in each of the following areas:

Physical : What are your boundaries around physical contact?

Psychological: What are your boundaries around topics of conversation, personal information being shared, subject matter and things of that nature?

Emotional: With whom do you want to share your feelings with? How much emotion are you willing to take on from other people?

Spiritual: What are your boundaries around religion or other forms of spirituality, or lack thereof?

General: Other boundaries not covered through these topics.

Hard v Soft boundaries.

Hard boundaries are those boundaries that you are unwilling to compromise.

Soft boundaries are boundaries that allow for more flexibility and can be adapted.

Window of Tolerance

We discussed the window of tolerance, and how as we work through the things that trigger either a hyper-aroused response, or a hypo-aroused response, this window of tolerance (comfort zone on the graphic below) grows larger and larger.

 

As our window of tolerance grows, we are better able to stay in a regulated level of arousal, and we can return to this level of arousal more quickly and easily.

Taking Care of Others

Everybody in our lives has problems and issues, but what is important to pay attention to is whether or not they are actively and genuinely working on them. It is okay to be supportive, but always stop to ask yourself “Am I Working harder for this person than they are working for themselves?” as well as “ I am working harder for this person than I am working for myself?”

Remember: put your air mask on before helping others with theirs.

Color wheel of awareness

White= chill not focused on anything, in a safe zone

Yellow= noticing things but not focused on danger

Orange= found a threat and I am aware of it. Ex- person over there has a hand in his pocket.

Red= Found a threat, hyper focused on it.

Black= tunnel vision. Cannot see anything else. Only tunneled in on the threat.

 

 

Living in level orange or higher constantly is not good for the adrenal system. I tis likely you are going to experience physiological symptoms such as fatigue, digestive issues, headaches etc.

 

 

Boundary House

Using this blank outline of a house can help you decipher the boundaries you wish to draw with the people in your life, by visualizing how close the relationships are/ you would like them to be. Place the people in your life in either the bedroom, kitchen, living room or porch.

A general guideline:

Porch: You know this person, and may be acquainted with them but you are not going to let them into your house.

Living room: This is where you have friends come over, and you may hang out in here, but this person is not going to feel free to go rummaging through your kitchen and making themselves a snack.

Kitchen: This person is going to feel comfortable enough in your home to come in, go to your kitchen, grab themselves a snack or a drink without you doing it for them.

Bedroom: This is the most intimate of spaces, reserved for the most intimate of your relationships.

 

Addiction & Recovery – Boundaries

Tips and coping strategies from week 2 of the Addiction Recovery workshop with therapist Nicki Line.

Quarantine

If you are having to stay home during this time, the isolation and idleness can be a trigger for mental health problems.  Here are some ideas of emotion focused coping activities you can engage in during this time if you find yourself triggered to engage in an unhealthy coping mechanism, or simply with some time to fill:

  1. Exercise
  2. Write in a journal
  3. Draw
  4. Listen to music
  5. Take a bath
  6. Play with a pet
  7. Spend time in nature (with social distancing!)
  8. Clean the house (or a closet, drawer, or area)
  9. Read a book
  10. Meditate
  11. Use aromatherapy
  12. Facetime a friend
  13.  Cook a meal
  14. Engage in spiritual exercises
  15. Practice breathing exercises
  16. List the things you feel grateful for
  17. Color
  18. Garden
  19. Do yoga
  20. Use progressive muscle relaxation
  21. Give yourself a pep talk
  22. Watch a movie series
  23. Invent a new game
  24. Look at pictures that remind you of the people, places, and things that bring you joy
  25. Take care of your body in a way that makes you feel good (paint your nails, do your hair, put on a face mask)
  26. Use a relaxation app such as Calm
  27. Go for a walk
  28. Use Netflix’s social feature to watch a movie with friends
  29. List your goals for the next month, the next six months, the next year
  30. Call the people you are grateful for and tell them why
  31. Learn a new skill via youtube

 

Resiliency & Coping strategies

Coping skills can lead to resiliency. Coping skills allow us to successfully get through tough or challenging experiences. Each time we have a bad experience, and we successfully get through it unharmed, we learn that we have the ability to face the challenge. Having this happen repeatedly builds resiliency and trust in ourselves. When we confront our triggers, with the help of coping skills rather than avoiding them, we build resiliency as well.

Here is a great resource for building new healthy coping skills:

https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/coping-skills-addictions.pdf

 

Here are some resources about resiliency:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/talking-about-men/201802/three-simple-ways-enhance-mental-health-resilience

https://positivepsychology.com/resilience-activities-exercises/

 

Importance of boundaries

Boundaries are SO important in our lives. They set the stage for healthy relationships of all sorts, including healthy relationships with ourselves. Setting boundaries and maintaining them can be a difficult task so here are some resources on setting and maintaining boundaries in our lives! Remember, setting boundaries and doing what you need to maintain them is not rude or selfish. You are teaching people that you respect yourself, and simply asking them to do the same.

https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/healthy-boundaries-tips.pdf

https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/setting-boundaries.pdf

 

Locus of Control

External locus of control= People with an external locus of control generally believe that their lives are controlled by outside forces, for example luck, fate, the actions of others, etc. They feel little sense of empowerment to make changes in their lives.

Internal locus of control= People with an internal locus of control feel that they can guide and direct their lives, and feel empowered to make positive changes.

Here are some blogs/  resources about cultivating an internal locus of control:

https://psychcentral.com/blog/cultivating-an-internal-locus-of-control-and-why-its-crucial/

https://www.verywellmind.com/develop-an-internal-locus-of-control-3144943

 

Social Media

We live in a social media driven world, and many of us depend on social media for work. So cutting out social media may not be feasible for all of us. However, what we can do is be more intentional about the way we use social media. This can be another example of setting boundaries. Each of us has the ability to decide and control what types of media we allow into our personal space. We can block, unfollow and mute any media that isn’t serving a positive purpose in our lives via informing us in a factual relevant way, inspiring us or motivating us. We can follow more people that inspire us, build our self esteem, motivate us, make us laugh, and give us some relief from every day life. Try to limit your social media exposure in general, and with the time you do spend on social media, make decisions about what type of media you want to influence your life. If a certain person or page consistently evoked negative emotions in you, take note! Maybe it’s time for an unfollow. This isn’t rude or unfriendly, it’s a form of self respect and asserting your right to control the things that influence you. Set those boundaries!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Links shared in the group:

https://recoverydharma.org/

https://instagram.com/clementinemorrigan?igshid=crmn7r98dotf

https://reason.com/2020/03/18/the-earn-it-act-is-the-new-fosta/