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My Story by Kena Love, with advice from therapist Nicki Line

I’m one of the many people who follow your tweets on twitter and I just had to write ya a quick email in regards to addiction and sex work for myself. See unfortunately they both go hand in hand. I can’t do dates without being high. And now I get paid to had sex just to support my habit. It wasn’t always that way. At first it was a high in itself to be wanted so badly by men who wanted to pay big $ to fuck me. But when my friends realized what I was doing I began to hate myself a Lil bit more every day. First came opiates but when I take them I can’t get turned on/wet/ or cum at all. That’s when I was introduced to meth. First time I did it I was hooked. I fucked for hours . My orgasms were amazing and all I could think about was getting that next on hit and dick.

Hello Kena,

I agree with you that the sex industry does have a high rate of individuals who struggle with addiction in one form or another. Let me start my response by defining addiction as I understand it. Addiction is an obsessive compulsive out of control behavior done in spite of negative consequences for self or others. Under this definition any behavior can be an addiction whether it is sex, shopping, food, or substances. While reading your email the stages of addiction and the cycle it can keep a person in comes to mind: initial use, abuse, increased use, dependency, and relapse. You describe “at first is a high … to be wanted so badly by men” which started the process of looking for an outside person or thing to regulate an internal issue. It felt good and distracted from other feelings in the initial stage. Then you started to have an internal conflict of your work and self-worth, to numb those feelings you started taking opiates and the opiates numb feeling as well as your body. Continuing to search for an external cure you tried meth which gives you a feeling of euphoria and increases sexual desire which switched your reward center in your brain into overdrive. This is where you need to increase your use to get the high or reward you felt the first time; which will never happen because you have already experienced it once. Now you are used to the combination of work and meth and you are dependent on them to function “normally.” I imagine it is hard to working without the meth and when or if you try you crave the substance which leads someone to relapse. You are correct in that it is a cycle and it is a cycle anyone can break if they learn and use new tools in recovery. Recovery is not easy and requires a person to develop new coping skills to use instead of the obsessive compulsive behavior. I will go into more detail about all of the topics I have touched on above in the Pineapple support group on Sundays. I hope you keep fighting for yourself.

Sincerely,
Nicki Line LMHC CST

Pineapple Sundae Radio Show Now Available As Podcast

The Pineapple Sundae radio show which is hosted by Pineapple Support’s President Leya Tanit and UK based therapist Shelly is broadcast live every Sunday at 12pm EST on Demonseed Radio and has been growing from strength to strength since it was launched on the 13th of May this year.

Pineapple Sundae hosts discuss different mental health topics each week and interview some of the industry’s biggest stars, new talent and veterans, inviting them to share their personal experiences and opinions. Although many of Pineapple Sundae’s topics may be serious, co-hosts Leya and Shelly always manage to keep a good balance of compassion and humor throughout the two hour shows.

To date the pair has discussed everything from substance misuse, depression, anxiety and coping with suicide, to maintaining a good work/life balance, relationship in the industry and being kinky.

This week all the episodes that have been aired to date were made available to listen to as podcasts. Leya Tanit states “It is of paramount importance that the complexities working in the adult industry can have on a performer’s life and therefore their mental health are discussed openly. It not only helps others within the industry understand that they are not alone in their experiences, but exposes consumers to the fact that performers are real people.”

Pineapple Sundae podcasts are available at: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/pineapple-sundae/id1439021361?mt=2