Pineapple Support, Pornhub To Hold Breathwork Event for International Whores’ Day

Pineapple Support, the adult industry’s leading mental health nonprofit, will host a special event focused on breathwork, sponsored by Pornhub. The event will take place on June 2nd at 1pm EST, coinciding with International Whore’s Day celebrations.

“Sex-workers can often play the role of therapists, taking on the emotions of clients as well as their emotional struggles,” says breathwork specialist and coach Sapphire. “Breathwork is a magical powerful tool for transformation and healing, which allows us access to inner blockages, negative thoughts, emotions and patterns not easily accessed through traditional therapy. This can lead us to releasing emotional baggage and a release of a shift in old patterns resulting in much needed transformation.”

One person attending the event will be randomly selected to receive $100 of Pornhub merchandise, as well as a course of one-on-one breathwork sessions with Sapphire.

“Each breathwork journey is unique and teaches us how we benefit from breathing fully and consciously, at the same time bringing changes into our lives for the better,” says Tanit. “Breathwork can help reduce the symptoms associated with anxiety, depression, PTSD, ADD and insomnia. Join us on June 2nd when together we can release this energy and unite as a community.”

Pineapple Support was founded in early 2018 by British performer Leya Tanit in response to losses in the adult industry from depression, addiction and other mental illnesses. The organisation, which is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit in the United States and a registered charity in the UK, has so far connected over one thousand adult performers to mental health services, including free and low-cost, therapy, counseling and emotional support.

For more information and to sign-up for the Breathwork Event, please visit https://pineapplesupport.org/breathworks/.

Pineapple Support and Streamate Host Three Day Wellness Event

Streamate and Pineapple Support to host a three day wellness event to help alleviate stress and anxiety caused by the Covid-19 pandemic.

The event held on 18-20th of May, offers anyone in the industry the opportunity to schedule a free, 30 minute, one-on-one guided meditation session with Pineapple Support therapist, Ingrid d’Aquin. During the consultations  you can “Enjoy a moment of catharsis and leave the session with relaxation techniques you can start using immediately to calm and center yourself.” said d’Aquin.

D’Aquin will also be hosting a webinar on May 18th at 2pm EST to discuss the effects of depression, anxiety and isolation. “We are in unprecedented times” says d’Aquin, “and you are not alone if you are trying to figure out how you are going to see your way through the depression, anxiety and isolation. Join us in this webinar where we will explore what makes a person resilient and learn simple take home techniques to cultivated a stronger ability to bounce back and adapt to life’s fast balls.”

“The world as we know it has changed – at least for now.” sad Liz, director of marketing at Streamate. “We are all learning to adjust, and some may be forgetting about self-care, an important part of our overall well-being. Streamate is not only proud to partner with Pineapple support on this event, but feel it’s imperative to offer all individuals the ability re-center and gain focus to combat loneliness during these interesting times.”

Pineapple Support was founded in 2018 by British performer Leya Tanit in response to losses in the adult industry from depression, addiction and other mental illnesses. The organization, which is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit in the United States and a registered charity in the UK, has so far connected over 1,000 adult performers to mental health services, including free and low-cost, therapy, counseling and emotional support.

“Covid-19 has affected all of us, it is important to take time out, away from your daily stresses and have a moment of calm and the wellness event aims to provide those within the industry with just that.” explains Tanit “During each session Ingrid will guide you with breathing techniques and exercises that you can transfer to your daily routine.”

To book your free 30 minute consultation, please visit: https://calendly.com/ingriddaquinpsychotherapist.

To attend the Webinar please visit: https://www.PineappleSupport.org/webinars

Maintaining a Routine While In Isolation

You’re stuck at home, all your usual hangouts are closed, you can’t do the day to day activities you would usually be doing. It’s all too easy to say “fuck it” and stay in bed, sloth around the house eating random combinations of whatever is in the cupboard and watching crappy TV.

Having a day or two every now and again to wallow in our own filth and enjoy the pleasures of numbing our minds and bodies, is perfectly acceptable. In fact, I recommend it. This is not however a healthy way to spend the majority of your time, particularly in isolation.

Days will drag and moods will drop (and drop and drop) until you find yourself in a downward spiral that is hard to get out of. If you’re currently struggling with this, it’s okay, you’re not alone.

Here are my tips for creating a routine while in Isolation.

Early Morning
Each morning I get up at around 7.30am, feed all my animals (question why I have so many animals), make myself a hot drink and, weather depending, sit in the garden for around half an hour. I use this time to catch up on personal social media and messages, to reflect on the day ahead and to be grateful for all that I have.

Morning
As someone who regularly works from home, I am a huge advocate of dressing for work. The does not mean a suit and full make up, it does mean taking a shower, brushing my hair and putting on something that isn’t pyjamas.

By 8.30am I try to be sat behind my desk and to start setting out what I hope to achieve that day.
Most of us are privileged to be able to do some work from home. Be it editing movies you haven’t released yet, doing admin and upkeep on your clips store or cam profile. Work on your premium site profiles or interact with fans. Use this time to do all the niggling jobs you haven’t yet found the time to do.
If you can’t work from home, get creative, look at picking up an old hobby or discovering a new one.

Each day at 10am I take an hours break from work to exercise with a friend online. We do this by picking a video on YouTube and starting it at the same time.
For me, training is one of those things I will continue to put off, unless there’s someone to hold me accountable. Training with a friend, not only makes it more fun, but creates an environment where you can both encourage each other to keep active.

Afternoon
At around 1pm I take a break from the computer to create a healthy lunch and spend an hour trying not to think about work. Then back to the grindstone until between 5 and 6pm.
I have had to be very strict with myself regarding the hours I work. When you work from home it is all too easy to continue working long into the night and forgetting the importance of “switching off”. As the saying goes; “You can’t drink from an empty cup”.

Evening
Once work is done for the day, I make time to call and check in on friends, either via text or online video platform. It’s actually been amazing to connect with people so regularly. This is something that ordinarily I don’t have time to do as I am usually rushing around to complete some errand. I feel that during this time of isolation, I have made deeper connections with my friends. Paying closer attention to each other’s emotions and learning so much more about one another.

Sometimes I take this time to learn a little Spanish (been living in Spain 5 years and can only just about order a glass of wine).

Dinner usually takes about an hour to prepare. At least once a week I like trying new recipes found online and “making do” with alternate ingredients from the backs of my cupboards, there have been mixed results. Of course, I’m not Mary Poppin’s, some evenings are spent eating left over’s or getting a food delivery.

Late Evening
By the time dinner is finished it is usually around 8pm and time to sit with the fur babies and watch a series or movie on Netflix.

At around 10.30-11pm I ensure that the house is tidy and dishes are washed, etc. This way before heading to bed I know that tomorrow will start with a clean fresh slate.

 

Everyone’s routine is different, the important thing is to have a routine. If there are days that you really don’t feel like getting out of bed or doing some of the things on your list, that’s okay. Let yourself have those days and enjoy them.

Try writing down a daily schedule for yourself, break the day up into segments and make it as detailed as possible. Do your best to stick to your schedule for a week and see how you feel at the end of it.

I do hope that this will have inspired you to KEEP GOING. These strange times will all be over soon and life will return to normal. STAY STRONG.

If you feel you need emotional support or counselling to help you through these unprecedented times. Please, reach out. PineappleSupport.org

Pineapple Support Sponsors Free Online Therapy Course

A free, online therapy course, sponsored by Pineapple Support, launches Tuesday, April 14. The seven-week course will utilize Dialectic Behavior Therapy (DBT) to help industry members develop tolerance skills while in isolation during the production hold.

The two-hour weekly sessions, led by Pineapple Support therapist Sophie Graham, will be held from 9:30 to 11:30 a.m. (PDT) and focus on coping mechanisms that can be used during times of crisis.

“The COVID-19 pandemic is causing lots of people to experience distress,” explained Graham. “This might be because of fear of getting sick, or it could be financial stress, or the impact of being in closer than usual quarters with the folks that we live with. This course is all about finding ways to reduce your distress — using your body as well as your brain. It helps you to develop your capacity to manage distress better.”

To reserve a spot, email contact@pineapplesupport.org.

“It can be a struggle to cope with overwhelming events,” said Pineapple Support Founder Leya Tanit. “We can end up in crisis, and that can cause us to behave in ways that cause us shame or create practical problems in our lives. This course equips you with DBT skills to manage distressing situations without derailing your life or relationships.”

For the latest updates, follow Pineapple Support online and on Twitter.

Continue Regular Therapy Online

There’s a lot to be stressed about – Virus, friends, family, economy, jobs, empty shelves at the grocery store. If you are feeling anxious or depressed, you are not alone.

While everyone is unique in their reactions to isolation, you may be likely to have feelings of loneliness, sadness, fear, anxiety and stress. These emotions are perfectly normal given the current circumstances.

A recent study published by The Lancet reported negative psychological effects of quarantine including post-traumatic stress symptoms, confusion and anger. These effects can be felt both during and after the period of quarantine.

During this isolation period you may be feeling cut off from the rest of the world, unable to continue your usual routine and with no control over what is happening. It is important to create a new normal (for now) routine, to maintain connections with your loved ones and to keep the mind and body healthy and active.

It is important to practice self-compassion, to keep up to date with the facts and necessary information on the virus, without allowing our anxiety to get the better of us.

Taking steps to protect your mental health

If you find that you are struggling with your emotions during this period of isolation, it is important to seek professional help. Many therapists are shifting to online therapy and all Pineapple Support therapists, counsellors and coaches provide teletherapy either via video platform or over the telephone.

If you are currently seeing a therapist and have concerns regarding switching from in person to online therapy, you may discover that online therapy works better for you and your needs. But, if you discover that you still prefer in-person appointments, there is no need to worry. This situation is not permanent and once the social distancing efforts have subsided, you can return to regular, face-to-face meetings.

If you feel you could benefit from speaking with therapist and qualify for Pineapple Support subsidized therapy, please reach out and we will connect you with one of our industry friendly therapists, counsellors or coaches.

 

Resources

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/does-online-therapy-actually-work_n_58af1ffde4b060480e05bd79?guccounter=1&guce_referrer=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZ29vZ2xlLmNvbS8&guce_referrer_sig=AQAAAA-DFVkQ3Y-cDk80cBm1W3jy-Kchis-a0Ocm0358ur5sF6l6RiWhEjWlMbXnPyKCc3SZ1ueKQ6-Il9HV__1a9Gv7OLCqyy2cacPqlPadhmQnQCFHkbMP1NRVwF9HTau9b-Lb3GLGTOFSfVMU8U6FXi1gb6uXWmgvC3qzz4s-gkvc

https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/daily-life-coping/managing-stress-anxiety.html?CDC_AA_refVal=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.cdc.gov%2Fcoronavirus%2F2019-ncov%2Fprepare%2Fmanaging-stress-anxiety.html

https://www.verywellmind.com/transition-to-online-therapy-during-coronavirus-4799808

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-pacific-heart/202003/coronavirus-anxiety-should-i-see-my-therapist-face-face

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0140673620304608

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15324539

https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lancet/article/PIIS0140-6736(20)30460-8/fulltext#seccestitle150

https://www.cnbc.com/2020/03/20/coronavirus-wake-up-millennials-prioritize-your-mental-health-right-now-says-psychotherapist.html

Maintain A Connection With the People You Love

In the current crisis, when we are being asked to self-isolate and practice social distancing, it is more important than ever to maintain a connection with the people you love.

As humans we are naturally pack animals, this makes communication and positive social connections essential for our mental health and help us cope in times of stress. Communication during isolation can be as simple as phoning a friend to share your emotional experience, using videoconferencing technology to check in with a family member, or spending quality time with the people you live with.

 

Loneliness and the feeling of being disconnected to humanity is natural during these times and some may feel powerless to these emotions. Reach out to your friends and family to check that they are okay. A simple text message or phone call to let a person know that you are thinking of them can bring needed assurance and positive energy.

Many of us are living with a partner, house mates, family members, it is important to have communication and relationships with those outside of the house as tensions are sure to rise.

Luckily for us, we live in a time of technology and the options we have are vast. Google hang-out, Skype, Face-Time, WhatsApp, Houseparty, Zoom, to name a few – these platforms are free to use and a great, fun way to virtually connect when in-person contact isn’t possible.

Whenever possible, try to use video calling for social communication. Facial expressions and body language form a large part of human interaction and alert us to a person’s mood, giving a much deeper and effective connection than voice call. In these times of isolation, non-verbal communication has even greater importance as they can provide a feeling of “presence”.

We would love to hear your ideas on how to stave off loneliness during isolation. Here are some of our ideas:

1) Have a virtual date night with a friend or another couple.
2) Start a new activity together, such as reading a book or watching a series. Check in with each other and call or text to discuss.
3) Arrange a virtual party with games or a dress theme.
4) Learn something new together, like a language, cooking or art.

However you decide to communicate with your loved ones during isolation, please remember; You are not alone. We are all in this together.

If you would like to speak to a Pineapple Support volunteer please visit PineappleSupport.org

 

With love from Leya Tanit

resources

https://www.psychology.org.au/getmedia/d7cb8abd-3192-4b8f-a245-ace9b8ef44d5/20APS-IS-COVID-19-Isolation-P1.pdf

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/conscious-communication/202003/maintaining-relationships-while-practicing-social-distancing

https://www.sailingscuttlebutt.com/2020/03/25/phil-sharp-tips-to-succeed-in-isolation/

https://www.simplypsychology.org/maslow.html

Get Creative

Pineapple Support is an organization that is based upon communication and human connection. The world is now in a situation where this connection is not always possible, many of us have been left with a lot of spare time on our hands and are unsure of what to do with it.

Getting creative, whether it be art, writing, sewing, baking or any other craft, is a great way to keep the mind active and possibly learn a new skill. You may even find a talent you never knew you had.

Crafting and getting creative have a number of benefits for our mental health, including stress reduction; a way to regulate strong emotions such as anger; self-efficacy improvement; and a reduction in your chances of developing mild cognitive impairment, among other things.

Focussing on a craft can also take the mind off the current news and headlines, which is something we all need to do to care for our mental health and well-being.

 

Below is a list of websites offering tutorials and ideas for getting creative during isolation.

 

We would love for you to share with us your creations or ideas for others to get creative via Twitter @pineappleYSW

 

With love, Leya Tanit

 

 

Resources

https://www.realhomes.com/news/7-craft-ideas-to-try-while-in-social-isolation

https://www.huffingtonpost.ca/entry/crafts-bored-in-quarantine_ca_5e78fa23c5b6f5b7c548f2f9?guccounter=1&guce_referrer=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZ29vZ2xlLmNvbS8&guce_referrer_sig=AQAAALkd2efUtx7PXAu4i-ocsXOELSD0Yep7QDOVcvZxG3UVAm5189zZ3XS3FCRMOQH_uI4RrAcbuN5fapWFXvbQxIzbV-F6rhihJH4IsXJyqwu2q5juA-7RTl9md48u748qtERNmHJBWJFAHOAHAghp7xFS_RLH9fkBAC0B-Y0q97MS

https://www.craftscouncil.org.uk/articles/up-skill-in-isolation-online-craft-classes-you-can-do-from-home/

https://www.marchnetwork.org/creative-isolation

4 Ways to look after yourself in a crisis

Hello you, how’re you feeling at the moment?

I’m honest with you, I’m feeling overwhelmed by this worldwide crisis and by all the information my mind, body, and soul gets fed with. I try to stay positive and see the crisis as a chance but some days it is more difficult to stay positive than others.

This is why I have decided to write some positive and uplifting words to show you that you are not alone in this situation and that there are options to create positive emotions and rituals in a time of uncertainty.

So what can you do if you feel anxious and overwhelmed? How can you find a way to ease your mind?

Here are 4 ways you can try

1. Limit news and social media

It is important to stay informed but it can get too much for our mental and physical health to digest all this news. The fact that most of the news you see at the moment is negative can grow fear, anxiety, and depression.

So why not limit your daily news and social media consumption?

Instead of listening to the news or scrolling through social media in the morning and evening, create a nourishing morning ritual and a soothing evening ritual. This will help you to start your day energised and to fall asleep less worrying.

2. Routine

In times of change and uncertainty, it is important to have a daily routine. A daily routine can help you to cope with the change, easing anxiety and stress. The routine you create for yourself can be your anchor and can make you feel grounded. By incorporating positive daily habits and self-care into your daily routine your mental and physical health will profit.

What could you incorporate into your routine?
Movement
Meditation
Yoga
Morning + Bedtime ritual
Healthy diet
Time to unwind and relax
Time with your loved ones

3. Connect + communicate

As we are all in this together, it is important to connect with people you feel safe, held, grounded and loved. Even if you can’t see our loved ones physically, you can meet them virtually. You can call them, video call them, e-mail or even write them a letter.

Organise and schedule coffee/tea dates with your friends or a loved family member. You can schedule a date to practice yoga, meditation or a fitness workout with your best friend or training buddy.

Create an online book club, an art class, coffee club, music class, etc. There are no rules, so let your imagination flow and create something to connect with each other 🙂

4. Be kind and compassionate – Loving-Kindness Meditation

I want to invite you to close your eyes and take 20 minutes for yourself to listen to this loving-kindness meditation from Kristin Neff:

https://self-compassion.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/LKM_cleaned.mp3

As words are so powerful, try to repeat these words every day:

May I be safe
May I be happy
May I be healthy
May I live with ease

We’re all different and we all have different needs, so it is important to find your way to take care of yourself. I recommend that you try out different things and see how you feel. How do you already care for yourself mentally and physically? Is there something new you want to try?

I also want to tell you that whatever you are feeling at the moment is okay. Try to talk to someone if your anxiety or stress gets overwhelming. I think it is really important that we talk, help and take care of each other.

I hope you liked this article. If you have questions, inputs or want to schedule an online session with me, I would love to hear from you: therapy@denise-wolf.com

Written by Denise Wolf

denise-wolf.com

5 Things to Remember in Early Sobriety

Kristie Overstreet Ph.D., LPCC, LMHC, LPC, CST

So here you are in early recovery. You’ve decided to get sober, and you’re feeling okay most days. You know that the tough times are coming, and early sobriety isn’t easy. Here are the five things to remember in early recovery to help you stay sober.

1. Fill your downtime
Especially in early recovery, it can be hard to have downtime. Your substance use consumed your time, and now that your sober, what will you do with the extra time on your hands?

Avoid idle downtime by filling your schedule with things to do. Whether it’s visiting friends, going to a 12-step meeting, or working on your to-do list, don’t sit around aimlessly. Your addiction is wanting you to give it an excuse to use, which can be avoided by staying busy.

2. Get back in touch with your hobbies
Many times in active addiction, it’s easy to lose touch with the things you use to enjoy doing. Now that your sober, you have more time to enjoy hobbies or things that interest you.

If you are struggling to remember what these are, think back to what you enjoyed doing growing up. Did you play video games, draw, or play the guitar? Have you wanted to try something new like painting, yoga, or getting a pet? Try making a list of things that interest you and pick a new one each week. Hobbies will help you find enjoyment in the little things that you use to not have time for.

3. Get active
Your body wants to move, and being active in your sobriety is a great coping skill. Your brain used to be stimulated by substances that released feel-good chemicals, and now that they are not triggered, you’ll need to access them through exercise.

Sure, you can’t 100% simulate the high you received from your substance of choice, but being active can access the same area of the brain. Have you ever heard of a runner’s high? It’s the feeling you get after running that makes you feel like you are on top of the world. Find some form of exercise or physical activity that you enjoy.

4. Find your triggers and how to cope
Everyone has different things that trigger them to one to use. Whether it’s people, places, or things, you need to know which ones to watch out for in your recovery. Make a list of things that make you want to use your substance of choice. No matter how small or large they are, add them to the list.

After you have listed your triggers, then identify a coping skill you will use with each of them. For example, going into a particular place where you used may be a trigger for you. One coping skill is to avoid the location for a while, or you will have someone who supports your recovery with you when you go there. Knowing your triggers and how to cope with each of them will help you stay sober.

5. Surround yourself with support
The more supportive people you have around you, the better chance you’ll have in early recovery. Whether it’s friends, family, a sponsor, or other sober people, remember that you are not alone.

You will feel like you’re the only one, so avoid being alone and isolative. Force yourself to get outside and around others. Challenge yourself to reach out to one person each day, even if it’s only a few minutes. Doing this will keep you in the habit of staying connected.

Recovery from your substance of choice is hard, but you’ve done harder things in your life. Your sobriety will be challenged daily, so you’ll have to recommit each day you wake up. As time goes by, it will get easier, but you’ll need to stay focused on doing what’s right for you and not those around you.

Taking it one day at a time can be too difficult, so break it down to one hour or one minute at a time. Your future is worth it, and you can’t have it while you are in active addiction.

Where do we fit in?

Mass violence. Hurricanes. Shootings. Rape. Abuse. Assault. Earthquakes.

Where do we fit in?

According to the Federal Bureau of Investigation (2017) violent crimes increased nationwide in 2016 by 4.1 percent and homicides rose by 8.6 percent. During 2015 – 2016 violent crimes have experienced an uptick by twenty – percent, which is puzzling, yet terrifying at the same time. Children, adolescents, and young adults have more access to hear the exact details and updates on carnage and crime due to technological advances. According to the Veteran’s Administration (2017), within a week of September 11th, 2001, individuals reported watching around eight hours of media regarding the attacks, mostly focused on digital media, which includes images and videos.

According to Forbes (2017), there has been an increase in the intensity of category four and five hurricanes, but not the amount of hurricanes. Therefore, even though there are “less” hurricanes, the ones that make landfall are causing prolonged trauma, distress, and disruption of our lives. The never-ending warnings, updates, and sensationalism of news coverage of hurricanes can greatly impact survivors’ mental health, as it keeps individuals in a constant state of fight, flight, or freeze. Individuals who consume more social media focused on disasters experience higher stress responses, increased hopelessness, a fixation on death and injury, and higher rates of PTSD symptomology (Rogers, 2016).

With the recent and more historical episodes of mass violence, including the Dayton shooting and the El Paso massacre, there is a question on all of our minds: when will we stop beating our own record of “deadliest mass shooting?” The inflation of violence and natural disasters in recent years has many effects, but one thing we have not been discussing is our stunted processing. With so many acts of brutality occurring at a faster pace than ever expected, we are not given the time to properly grieve, mourn, process, and understand these tragedies. Our attention is constantly torn to another tearful catastrophe. Our emotions, memories, and images become unprocessed, leading to the foundations of mental disorders and distress (Shapiro, 2014).

Every day it becomes increasingly challenging to turn away from the carnage. If the television won’t interrupt us while we watch our Monday sitcoms, our phones will inadvertently alert us. If we disconnect from technology in an effort to remain peaceful and sensitized, we can expect a friend or coworker to fill us in on the gruesome details, phone waving in their hand, depicting heart-wrenching images. We are stricken with a sense of vulnerability, and some would even say powerlessness. We are a society that is holding onto our last thread. We are powerful and spirited, yet ground down to our last shred of hope.
We must navigate our social media with grace amidst expedient broadcasts, tweets, and texts about violence in an effort to avoid desensitization, which often leads to hopelessness and symptoms of depression (Rogers, 2016).

There is a cost if we don’t.

Epigenetics is the study of the alteration of genes and their processes (Weinhold, 2006). So what does this have to do with the anxiety and fear we are experiencing or anticipating? Genetic changes caused by individual or community trauma may occur within the family line for more than four generations (Winhold, 2006). Although the studies surrounding transgenerational transmission of trauma have mostly been exploratory, difficult to generalize, and specific, there are still aspects which could affect our future generations.

Although it has been challenging to find out if trauma is truly passed down through the genetic line, there is still an opportunity to negatively influence our future generations. Trauma can be passed down through: family or friends reporting their experience with heavy emotions attached; utilizing negative and catastrophic terminology; a hyper-focus on discussing only the traumatic incidents during the period of tragedy; unresolved feelings of guilt and shame; ongoing anticipation of further disasters; parents living in fear based on identifying characteristics (LGBTQ, black, refugee); and providing technical levels of detail to children before it is developmentally appropriate (Braga, Mello, and Fiks, 2012).

Our unresolved issues can directly affect our children and our children’s children. As we grow, we learn from watching our parents with utmost precision; we speak about and conceptualize our reality in a similar way to how our parents do.
Some parents interact with their children through a preoccupied attachment style, which signifies parent’s engrossment in their own intrusive and damaging life experiences, like mass violence (Shapiro, 2012). This attachment style teaches the child to adopt an aggressive way of being in order to get attention, often resulting in insecurity and dependency later in life.
Other parents may interact in a disorganized attachment style, in which the parent has no boundaries about their psychological trauma. What you may see from this type of parent is anxious behaviors, fearful facial expressions, unexpected emotional outbursts, and haphazard ways of communicating, leaving the child confused (Shapiro, 2012). The child may be unsure and nervous themselves about initiating contact with their parent, as their parent is dually their source of care, yet the cause of their unconscious anxiety (Shapiro, 2012).

We are all at risk, now that we have unexpectedly been cast into the role of captive audience to unforeseen tragedy. However, despite our current feelings, we do have potential. We do have control. We do have hope.

1. Always remember your breath. It sounds arbitrary. It sounds like a platitude. Hearing someone say “take a breath!” can feel obnoxious or demeaning. However, it is one of the smallest, yet most impactful ways we can exert power in our lives. Our breath is one of the few things we can control and access at any time, privately. When overwhelmed, square breathing can help us take a break from racing thoughts. Breathe in for four counts. Hold for four counts. Breathe out for four counts. Hold for four counts. If it helps, imagine a stream of light in your favorite color pulsing through the square as you move through it.

2. Make an impact. In moments of vulnerability and suffering, we forget our abilities. Locate a nonprofit agency of your choice and donate your time, talent, or treasures. Set up a monthly donation of a few bucks. Dedicate an hour a week to volunteering. We may feel like our influence is a “drop in the bucket,” but all we can do is transform people or animals one at a time, setting off a butterfly effect of compassion.

3. Hold onto your routine for dear life. Symptoms of trauma can distort what we hold most dearly, disrupting our ability to focus. Establishing a daily routine can help normalize one’s day-to-day experience, stabilize us, and bring comfort. At the end of a productive day, we end up feeling accomplished and in control, despite the world’s happenings.

4. Create an internal safe place. Allow whatever image that comforts you to come to you. Choosing a place in nature can be a grounding experience. Ensure no people or pets are there as to avoid any upset feelings. Notice the colors, scent, sounds, and imagery. If you looked to the left and right, what would you see? Allow the feelings of security to set in and know you can access this private paradise at any time.

5. Make space for relationships. When we are overwhelmed by the “yuck” of our daily lives, we forget that people care about us. We forget the world cares. How can anyone care if the world is so dangerous? We must avoid buying into the thoughts that drag us further down. Reach out to friends, even if you simply say “Hey, I’m not doing so well, but I wanted to check in with you.” Or “Would you like to watch this movie with me? I need a little distraction and joy today.” Be honest with others and they may be moved to be honest with you.

6. Keep a “thought log.” Thought logs are ways of getting us in touch with our themes, patterns, and triggers in life. When the news keeps rolling in, we have our thought logs to ground us. It may help to jot down the trigger, what thought immediately came up, what you felt when that thought sank in, and balancing it out with an evenhanded perspective. What would your mentor say? What would your higher power say? Connect with that perspective.

Although trauma can be a powerful force, remember: we will be more exhausted by running from trauma than by shocking it and facing it with our strength and willingness. Do it afraid.

written by Rachael Wells