Maintain A Connection With the People You Love

In the current crisis, when we are being asked to self-isolate and practice social distancing, it is more important than ever to maintain a connection with the people you love.

As humans we are naturally pack animals, this makes communication and positive social connections essential for our mental health and help us cope in times of stress. Communication during isolation can be as simple as phoning a friend to share your emotional experience, using videoconferencing technology to check in with a family member, or spending quality time with the people you live with.

 

Loneliness and the feeling of being disconnected to humanity is natural during these times and some may feel powerless to these emotions. Reach out to your friends and family to check that they are okay. A simple text message or phone call to let a person know that you are thinking of them can bring needed assurance and positive energy.

Many of us are living with a partner, house mates, family members, it is important to have communication and relationships with those outside of the house as tensions are sure to rise.

Luckily for us, we live in a time of technology and the options we have are vast. Google hang-out, Skype, Face-Time, WhatsApp, Houseparty, Zoom, to name a few – these platforms are free to use and a great, fun way to virtually connect when in-person contact isn’t possible.

Whenever possible, try to use video calling for social communication. Facial expressions and body language form a large part of human interaction and alert us to a person’s mood, giving a much deeper and effective connection than voice call. In these times of isolation, non-verbal communication has even greater importance as they can provide a feeling of “presence”.

We would love to hear your ideas on how to stave off loneliness during isolation. Here are some of our ideas:

1) Have a virtual date night with a friend or another couple.
2) Start a new activity together, such as reading a book or watching a series. Check in with each other and call or text to discuss.
3) Arrange a virtual party with games or a dress theme.
4) Learn something new together, like a language, cooking or art.

However you decide to communicate with your loved ones during isolation, please remember; You are not alone. We are all in this together.

If you would like to speak to a Pineapple Support volunteer please visit PineappleSupport.org

 

With love from Leya Tanit

resources

https://www.psychology.org.au/getmedia/d7cb8abd-3192-4b8f-a245-ace9b8ef44d5/20APS-IS-COVID-19-Isolation-P1.pdf

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/conscious-communication/202003/maintaining-relationships-while-practicing-social-distancing

https://www.sailingscuttlebutt.com/2020/03/25/phil-sharp-tips-to-succeed-in-isolation/

https://www.simplypsychology.org/maslow.html

Get Creative

Pineapple Support is an organization that is based upon communication and human connection. The world is now in a situation where this connection is not always possible, many of us have been left with a lot of spare time on our hands and are unsure of what to do with it.

Getting creative, whether it be art, writing, sewing, baking or any other craft, is a great way to keep the mind active and possibly learn a new skill. You may even find a talent you never knew you had.

Crafting and getting creative have a number of benefits for our mental health, including stress reduction; a way to regulate strong emotions such as anger; self-efficacy improvement; and a reduction in your chances of developing mild cognitive impairment, among other things.

Focussing on a craft can also take the mind off the current news and headlines, which is something we all need to do to care for our mental health and well-being.

 

Below is a list of websites offering tutorials and ideas for getting creative during isolation.

 

We would love for you to share with us your creations or ideas for others to get creative via Twitter @pineappleYSW

 

With love, Leya Tanit

 

 

Resources

https://www.realhomes.com/news/7-craft-ideas-to-try-while-in-social-isolation

https://www.huffingtonpost.ca/entry/crafts-bored-in-quarantine_ca_5e78fa23c5b6f5b7c548f2f9?guccounter=1&guce_referrer=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZ29vZ2xlLmNvbS8&guce_referrer_sig=AQAAALkd2efUtx7PXAu4i-ocsXOELSD0Yep7QDOVcvZxG3UVAm5189zZ3XS3FCRMOQH_uI4RrAcbuN5fapWFXvbQxIzbV-F6rhihJH4IsXJyqwu2q5juA-7RTl9md48u748qtERNmHJBWJFAHOAHAghp7xFS_RLH9fkBAC0B-Y0q97MS

https://www.craftscouncil.org.uk/articles/up-skill-in-isolation-online-craft-classes-you-can-do-from-home/

https://www.marchnetwork.org/creative-isolation

4 Ways to look after yourself in a crisis

Hello you, how’re you feeling at the moment?

I’m honest with you, I’m feeling overwhelmed by this worldwide crisis and by all the information my mind, body, and soul gets fed with. I try to stay positive and see the crisis as a chance but some days it is more difficult to stay positive than others.

This is why I have decided to write some positive and uplifting words to show you that you are not alone in this situation and that there are options to create positive emotions and rituals in a time of uncertainty.

So what can you do if you feel anxious and overwhelmed? How can you find a way to ease your mind?

Here are 4 ways you can try

1. Limit news and social media

It is important to stay informed but it can get too much for our mental and physical health to digest all this news. The fact that most of the news you see at the moment is negative can grow fear, anxiety, and depression.

So why not limit your daily news and social media consumption?

Instead of listening to the news or scrolling through social media in the morning and evening, create a nourishing morning ritual and a soothing evening ritual. This will help you to start your day energised and to fall asleep less worrying.

2. Routine

In times of change and uncertainty, it is important to have a daily routine. A daily routine can help you to cope with the change, easing anxiety and stress. The routine you create for yourself can be your anchor and can make you feel grounded. By incorporating positive daily habits and self-care into your daily routine your mental and physical health will profit.

What could you incorporate into your routine?
Movement
Meditation
Yoga
Morning + Bedtime ritual
Healthy diet
Time to unwind and relax
Time with your loved ones

3. Connect + communicate

As we are all in this together, it is important to connect with people you feel safe, held, grounded and loved. Even if you can’t see our loved ones physically, you can meet them virtually. You can call them, video call them, e-mail or even write them a letter.

Organise and schedule coffee/tea dates with your friends or a loved family member. You can schedule a date to practice yoga, meditation or a fitness workout with your best friend or training buddy.

Create an online book club, an art class, coffee club, music class, etc. There are no rules, so let your imagination flow and create something to connect with each other 🙂

4. Be kind and compassionate – Loving-Kindness Meditation

I want to invite you to close your eyes and take 20 minutes for yourself to listen to this loving-kindness meditation from Kristin Neff:

https://self-compassion.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/LKM_cleaned.mp3

As words are so powerful, try to repeat these words every day:

May I be safe
May I be happy
May I be healthy
May I live with ease

We’re all different and we all have different needs, so it is important to find your way to take care of yourself. I recommend that you try out different things and see how you feel. How do you already care for yourself mentally and physically? Is there something new you want to try?

I also want to tell you that whatever you are feeling at the moment is okay. Try to talk to someone if your anxiety or stress gets overwhelming. I think it is really important that we talk, help and take care of each other.

I hope you liked this article. If you have questions, inputs or want to schedule an online session with me, I would love to hear from you: therapy@denise-wolf.com

Written by Denise Wolf

denise-wolf.com

CAM4 Joins Pineapple Support As Bronze-Level Sponsor

Pineapple Support, the adult industry’s leading mental health nonprofit, welcomes CAM4 as a bronze-level sponsor. The live cam site joins over forty adult businesses and organizations in committing funds and resources to Pineapple Support.

“We are thrilled to partner with Pineapple Support to build on the incredibly important work they’ve been doing in our industry,” says CAM4’s Communications Manager, Shannon McD. “It’s imperative for platforms like us to get behind initiatives that provide performers with access to vital mental health and wellness resources, and we couldn’t dream of a better organization to collaborate with!”

Pineapple Support was founded by British Performer Leya Tanit in early 2018, in response to losses in the adult industry from depression and other mental illnesses. The organisation, which is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit in the United States and a registered charity in the UK, has so far connected nearly nine hundred adult performers to mental health services, including free and low-cost, therapy, counseling and emotional support.

“We’re thrilled to have the support of a pioneering site like CAM4,” says Tanit. “This sends a clear message to the entire cam industry that access to mental health resources is crucial to the success of our workers. Working alongside companies like CAM4 will help us to reach even more performers in need of support.”

Pornhub Renews Sponsorship of Pineapple Support

Pineapple Support announced today that Pornhub will renew its Gold Level sponsorship of the organization.

“The Pornhub Model Program is dedicated to the care, safety and well-being of our models,” said Pornhub VP Corey Price. “So we are happy to announce that we have partnered up with Pineapple Support once again to offer a free online mental health service created specifically for adult industry performers.”

Pineapple Support is a non-profit organization that connects adult performers with mental health services globally.

“We’re incredibly thankful that Pornhub is renewing its sponsorship for another year,” said Founder Leya Tanit. “The continued support of Pornhub and its team helps to send an extremely positive message to the adult industry that mental health is of paramount importance to all performers and models. With the help of generous sponsors like them, we can continue our work to connect anyone that needs mental health services in the industry with dedicated therapists and counselors.”

For the latest information, follow Pornhub and Pineapple Support on Twitter.

Segpay Joins Pineapple Support as Partner-Level Sponsor

LOS ANGELES — Pineapple Support has announced that Segpay has signed on as a Partner-level sponsor.

The customized billing solutions specialist joins over forty adult businesses and organizations in committing funds and resources to the industry’s leading mental health resource.

Segpay CEO Cathy Beardsley explained, “We feel it’s important to support the businesses and people who have supported us over the years.”

“Giving back is a big part of our business philosophy, whether it’s the companies that create content or the performers that make it possible, we feel strongly that we have a responsibility to help nurture and nourish this community,” she said.

Pineapple Support founder, Leya Tanit, thanked Segpay for their contribution.

“We’re extremely grateful to Segpay and their team for giving back to the adult industry. The support of Segpay enables us to continue to offer the essential services that we provide to the adult community,” said Tanit. “As we expand our reach to sex workers around the world, the support of our sponsors helps us to connect each of them with the mental health services they need.”

Since its founding in 2018, Pineapple Support, a registered nonprofit in the United States and a registered charity in the U.K., has reportedly connected nearly nine hundred adult performers to mental health services, including free and low-cost, therapy, counseling and emotional support.

Life & Sex-Work Has Led Me To Sobriety by AnnaTame

Ever since I hit the end of my elementary school years I started smoking cigarettes. Very shortly after that, it carried onto marijuana, (which I don’t believe is a bad drug or addiction) and then I was introduced to heavy drugs along the way such as MDMA, LSD, Mushrooms, Cocaine, etc. At the time I was in my early high school days when this happened so I was very unaware of a lot of things about drugs in general compared to now. Although, even at the time I was doing these drugs I didn’t care too much about it because it became an escape for me and a way to have fun with my friends.

Fast-forwarded to years after high school, something very traumatic happened to my health. At the time right before this happened I was still smoking daily A LOT, drinking alcohol and doing quite a bit of psychedelics almost every weekend. I was in college for a short business-related program so the partying was normal, but I was like that even before. Being high all the time became normal to me.

I won’t go into depth about what happened to me, but let’s just say it seriously opened my eyes to how important health is, how unpredictable life is and that taking care of yourself is needed a lot more than we think. It wasn’t even just the drugs though, it was everything. My mental health and the way I was dealing with personal issues for years were not helping me.

I’m not here to tell people how to live their lives, we are free to do what we want and indulge in what we want as well. I’m just here to share my story to hope it’ll be somewhat relatable at least or eye-opening. I can only speak from my own experiences so I know that overdoing it could have dire consequences.

This experience forced me to quit bad habits that were unhealthy for me. I stopped smoking, drinking and doing other drugs altogether. Then once I was feeling a bit better I tried to go back to my same ways and my body was rejecting it. So I made a choice to just stop doing everything. That has lasted years. I haven’t smoked at all or did any of the drugs I listed above since.

However, the drinking was still something I could do in moderation, and started back up again afterward. This lasted up until last year around May. I’d use any excuse to do it. But whenever I used it when I was going through something bad, it never made anything better in the long-term. A bit before this I started seeing a practitioner, going to therapy to better understand my thoughts and kept bettering my diet. So naturally, I just decided it was time to either stop or cut down.

I haven’t had a drink in about 10 months now. If I make it a few more months it’ll be a full year. I have never in my entire life since I was addicted to anything substance wise been sober for that long, ever. Will I drink again? Perhaps. Maybe. I don’t know. But I do know my boundaries now from with myself and what isn’t healthy so if I do decide to I’m hoping it’ll be under control or in moderation. Being honest is important because we’re all human here. All I know is that I have cut down on A LOT over the years on a lot of unhealthy things and that’s something to be proud of.

As “corny” as it may sound, all of those things have highly improved my life, and not only that but entering the adult industry has vastly helped me grow as a person and into my sobriety. I may have stopped using years ago, but when I was coming more into myself sexually, it has made me a better person. I started to tap into doing things I’m good at: connecting with others, making a space that’s non-judgemental to be in for both parties and to just be free. Sex work has given me that and I’m very grateful because of it. Whenever I think of wanting to use again, I think of how far I’ve come and how much better I’m off without it.

Without going through these changes, I wouldn’t have changed my lifestyle and found a job I’m passionate about. I love being a sex worker and being one and remaining under control with my unhealthy addictions is saving my life. I’m here to tell you first-hand that although my traumas led me to tough experience(s), it brought me right here. To becoming a healthier person through sobriety and finding sex work unexpectedly as a healthy way to make a living while expressing myself for who I am.

So to anyone who got this far here, this is only a small glimpse of my life experiences and if you knew every detail you’d know how resilient I am. However, I’m just another person who has gone through trauma and addiction but is still here living my life. More importantly, living it better than I could have ever thought was possible.

Written by AnnaTame
Follow AnnaTame on Twitter @annatame69

My Story by Kena Love, with advice from therapist Nicki Line

I’m one of the many people who follow your tweets on twitter and I just had to write ya a quick email in regards to addiction and sex work for myself. See unfortunately they both go hand in hand. I can’t do dates without being high. And now I get paid to had sex just to support my habit. It wasn’t always that way. At first it was a high in itself to be wanted so badly by men who wanted to pay big $ to fuck me. But when my friends realized what I was doing I began to hate myself a Lil bit more every day. First came opiates but when I take them I can’t get turned on/wet/ or cum at all. That’s when I was introduced to meth. First time I did it I was hooked. I fucked for hours . My orgasms were amazing and all I could think about was getting that next on hit and dick.

Hello Kena,

I agree with you that the sex industry does have a high rate of individuals who struggle with addiction in one form or another. Let me start my response by defining addiction as I understand it. Addiction is an obsessive compulsive out of control behavior done in spite of negative consequences for self or others. Under this definition any behavior can be an addiction whether it is sex, shopping, food, or substances. While reading your email the stages of addiction and the cycle it can keep a person in comes to mind: initial use, abuse, increased use, dependency, and relapse. You describe “at first is a high … to be wanted so badly by men” which started the process of looking for an outside person or thing to regulate an internal issue. It felt good and distracted from other feelings in the initial stage. Then you started to have an internal conflict of your work and self-worth, to numb those feelings you started taking opiates and the opiates numb feeling as well as your body. Continuing to search for an external cure you tried meth which gives you a feeling of euphoria and increases sexual desire which switched your reward center in your brain into overdrive. This is where you need to increase your use to get the high or reward you felt the first time; which will never happen because you have already experienced it once. Now you are used to the combination of work and meth and you are dependent on them to function “normally.” I imagine it is hard to working without the meth and when or if you try you crave the substance which leads someone to relapse. You are correct in that it is a cycle and it is a cycle anyone can break if they learn and use new tools in recovery. Recovery is not easy and requires a person to develop new coping skills to use instead of the obsessive compulsive behavior. I will go into more detail about all of the topics I have touched on above in the Pineapple support group on Sundays. I hope you keep fighting for yourself.

Sincerely,
Nicki Line LMHC CST

Acknowledging my Addiction – by Rogan Damiana

Addiction has affected me in some way my entire life. Starting with family members who had problems with addiction to my own issues with substance control in my adult life. I didn’t used to think I had a problem. Drinking was a massive part of my social interaction. Alcohol allowed me to be “fun”. At least that is what I told myself. I didn’t drink during the day; I wasn’t missing work or life events. I just partied hard when I did socialize until the partying turned into an every evening event.

I would immediately start drinking most nights when I got home from work and continue until I could no longer stay awake. Binge drinking was something I had heard of but was not associating with myself.

This destructive path of using binge drinking to cope with my complete unhappiness with my life finally culminated in a very nearly successful suicide attempt in April 2018. I had decided I was done trying and overdosed on my anxiety meds plus a gross amount of alcohol. I will never forget the jarring feeling I had waking up in the ICU, then reading my discharge papers detailing my overdose. It was in that moment I knew I had to change my destructive behavior.

The sense of comfort alcohol provided was false. It was wrecking my body physically and causing more stress mentally than it was relieving. I had allowed alcohol to bring out the worst of myself, hurting the people around me who loved me. The amount of money I wasted on numbing myself is staggering. I can think of so many more meaningful ways I could have used that money. Getting unstuck from negative thought patterns like that has helped me to move forward.

Staying sober from alcohol has not been easy but forgiving myself for the mistakes I made helps with the process. We can not change the past. I can’t take back the hateful words I used or actions I took out of anger with myself. The effects of my actions will always be.

For me recovery is changing the way I live. Through therapy and my small circle of support, I work consistently to change my thinking. The biggest challenge I have faced in this process is liking myself. Redirecting my perspective to acknowledge the positive aspects of my life and accomplishments helps combat the negative self-talk. When I start to get overwhelmed, I remind myself that I am doing everything possible to fix my life and that change takes time. There is already a noticeable difference in how I handle adverse situations that come up. Instead of immediately intoxicating myself to avoid dealing with the negative, I think through what actions I can take to make things better.

My social life has changed considerably since stopping my alcohol use and I have learned to be ok with that. Watching people I used to spend a lot of time with drift away has been hard. I hold no bad feelings towards this, relationships shift and change all the time. While being around others who are drinking is not a trigger for me, I have found I do not enjoy those environments anymore. I don’t hold that in common with those people that were in my life previously.

I also found that I had to strengthen my confidence in letting people know I do not drink. While to me it isn’t an issue that I don’t drink, I have received a variety of reactions when telling others. When I started this journey I would feel uncomfortable turning down a drink when offered because of the follow up questions that frequently followed. The well meaning “oh, one drink won’t hurt”, “but you’re so fun when you drink”, and my least favorite to deal with the misguided pity responses. In my ideal world just saying no would be enough. When pressed I generally reply with “Alcohol and I do not agree anymore” and leave it at that. I still go out; I still like to see live music and art shows. Now I do it without masking my anxiety with alcohol. I take a minute to go outside if the crowd is overwhelming. Also, allowing myself to be ok with

leaving an outing earlier than others helps so much. I enjoy myself and when I’m out of social energy it is time to go home. Putting my health and well being first felt weird in the beginning, but soon became a habit I don’t even notice anymore.

Addiction looks and feels different for all of us. It is a very personal issue to deal with. I hope sharing my story and how I handle this continuing journey will bring some hope. It is possible to survive after addiction and while it isn’t always easy, keep going. There will still be days that suck and challenge you. Every small change you make to create a better life for yourself will pay off. The proof I have to offer is myself. I am still here, still breathing, still trying, and succeeding. I hope this gives you the energy to try too.

If you would like to contribute to addiction month, please submit your article or video to contact@pineapplesupport.org

Submissions can remain anonymous.