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Dealing with Stress and Anxiety: What to Look for and How to Cope

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Dealing with stress and anxiety is something that we all go through. Here’s a quick guide to help you understand the signs, and learn some useful coping strategies.

Identifying the Signs:

In our unique industry, stress and anxiety can manifest in various ways. Just like any other artists, content creators have emotional, behavioral, and physical signs that shouldn’t be ignored. Let’s take a closer look at the signals that might resonate with those in the adult content creation realm.

Emotional Signs:

– Feeling irritable
– Overwhelmed
– Anxious, nervous, or worried
– Racing thoughts and difficulty switching off
– Disinterest in usually pleasurable activities
– Feeling lonely and isolated

Behavioral Signs:

– Difficulty in decision-making
– Avoidance behavior
– Nail-biting or skin picking
– Changes in appetite
– Self-medicating with substances
– Restlessness, difficulty concentrating
– Frequent tearfulness

Physical Signs:

– Unusual breathing or hyperventilating
– Panic or anxiety attacks
– Blurred vision, sore eyes
– Changes in libido
– Fatigue or lethargy
– Teeth grinding or jaw clenching
– Headaches or migraines
– Feeling sick, dizzy, or lightheaded

 

Coping Strategies for everyday life:

Now that we’ve identified the signs of stress and anxiety, let’s talk about some tailored coping strategies for adult content creators. These are your reliable allies, always ready to support you whenever life gets challenging.

1. Self-Care:

Start with self-care basics. A nutritious diet, ample sleep, and minimizing substances like smoking and alcohol can be transformative. Incorporate exercise into your routine – it’s not just beneficial for your physical health but also a great stress-reliever. Even a simple walk can clear the mind and boost those feel-good endorphins.

2. Unapologetic Self-Care:

Yes, so important we’ve listed it twice! Take unapologetic breaks for yourself. Whether it’s a long soak in the bath or a cozy duvet day with your favorite shows, prioritize self-indulgence when stress knocks at your door. Even the simplest things can feel therapeutic.

3. Connect with Your Community:

Your support network within the industry is priceless. Whether it’s fellow creators, industry friends, or mentors, don’t hesitate to share your concerns. Connecting with those who understand the unique challenges of the industry can be immensely comforting. Talking about your experiences can make you feel lighter.

4. Creative Expression Release:

Sometimes, you just need a good release. Express your stress through your work or channel it into physical activities like dancing, yoga, or even a fitness class. Use your creativity as a tool for mental liberation.

5. Mindful Breaks:

Pause and breathe. Incorporate mindfulness into your routine to focus on your internal experience rather than external distractions. Being non-judgmental about your feelings can help make sense of challenges.

6. Understanding What’s in Your Control:

Acknowledge what you can and cannot control in your creative journey. Understand your power and the realistic impact you can have on your circumstances. Organize your projects, make lists, and break down hurdles into manageable tasks.

You are one of a kind and your experiences with stress and anxiety are just as unique

In the world of adult content creation, stress and anxiety can be part of the creative process. Use this checklist to regularly assess your mental well-being. Regular self-assessment is the key to maintaining a healthy mental balance. Here’s to identifying, acknowledging, and conquering stress with creativity and resilience!

If you feel like you need support, you can apply for subsidized therapy with Pineapple Support here.

 

Photo by nikko macaspac on Unsplash

March 20th – International Day of Happiness!

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Boundaries, Balance & Self Care as a Sex Worker

Boundaries, balance, and self-care are interconnected pillars that support mental, emotional, and physical well-being, ultimately contributing to a greater sense of happiness and fulfillment in life.

Establishing and maintaining boundaries can prevent burnout, reduce stress, and enhance self-esteem, leading to better mental health; achieving balance in various life domains allows us to pursue our passions, nurture relationships, and attend to our needs effectively; and practicing self-care reinforces feelings of self-worth and self-compassion. When we prioritize our well-being, we send a message to ourselves that we are deserving of care and attention, which can boost self-esteem and contribute to a more fulfilling and satisfying life.

Here’s Emma from Imperfectly you to explain how boundaries, balance and self care as an adult industry professional can lead to a greater sense of happiness!

 

Your Affirmation :

‘I set boundaries with myself and those around me, this is an act of self care’

At Imperfectly You, we know that as self employed sex workers our schedules don’t adhere to the conventional 9 – 5 grind. It’s a reality that demands a flexible approach including setting boundaries that cater to our individual needs.

Your workday might involve meeting clients, creating content, or performing in front of a camera—possibly all three! Each day in this profession is unique, and no two days for an Adult Performer are alike.

Aside from our work, we also have other interests. To the shock of some clients, we have roles, responsibilities and endeavours that don’t involve being sexy 24/7. We are multifaceted human beings after all 🙂

With that being said, balancing it all can become a bit of a juggling act and sometimes our working hours start to encroach upon our personal time. Our days may roll into one with your ‘switch off’ button nowhere to be found. This overlap can result in a decrease of productivity & enjoyment within both our work and personal life. For some this results in a lack of motivation and can be the dreaded path to burnout.

If you’re aiming to reshape your workdays to prioritise personal time and want to feel energised doing the work that you do then this exercise is for you…

Adult Work:

  • Break down your adult work into activities – client sessions / content creation / camming / editing clips / marketing, etc.
  • How many hours would you like to spend on each activity per day / week without this taking a toll on your well-being?
  • How much energy do these activities require?

Personal Time:

  • What activities are included in your personal time? -socializing / time with family / cooking / chilling / working out etc.
  • Prioritise – what activities are your non-negotiables? – reading your morning paper with a coffee (be as specific as you like)
  • What activities give you energy?
  • What activities relax you?
  • What are you not doing that you would like to do?


Examine your current schedule

Track your week to establish how you’re spending your time. Identify likes and dislikes in your daily routine. Take note of your energy and enthusiasm with each activity throughout the day. Are you a morning person or do you get a lease of life later in the afternoon?

 

What is your ideal day?

Given your current situation, what would a ‘balanced’ day look like for you? Feel free to close your eyes and really imagine what this would be like from the moment you wake up. How are you feeling within your body & mind?

You should now have an idea of things you’d perhaps like to change or improve to create more harmony throughout your day. Before you start to devise a new plan, here are some things to consider

 

A routine  

As highlighted earlier, our work doesn’t follow the typical 9-to-5 structure, yet establishing some sort of routine where we can does have its advantages. While we may say yes to last-minute requests if the money is particularly good, is it possible to designate specific hours each day for uninterrupted activities? For instance, if you’d like to commit to a 2-hour cam session daily, when can you realistically set aside this time? Finding these pockets of dedicated time amidst the fluidity of our days can be so beneficial.


Consider energy givers / takers

Think about the parts of your work or personal life that uplift you and those that drain your energy. Can you arrange an ‘energy-giving’ activity before a task that tends to deplete your energy? For eg, this may look like going to the gym before creating content or working with a client. Identify the times of day when your energy peaks, perhaps mornings are best for diving into marketing strategies, and afternoons suit more physical activities. Consider structuring your day to end with a relaxing activity, aiding in unwinding and transitioning into a state of ’switching off’ a few hours before bed.

Swallow the frog 

Tackle the toughest task first – whatever you tend to delay or avoid, prioritise it at the start of your day. Completing this task right away sets a tone of accomplishment, making the rest of your day feel smoother and more manageable. Starting with the most challenging task can uplift you from the get-go.

 

Set realistic goals

This advice is frequently repeated, yet implementing it is often more challenging than it sounds. When you’ve broken down your goal and still find yourself overwhelmed, consider setting micro-goals. Even if it means jotting down a simple 5-minute task like ‘take a shower,’ breaking it into smaller steps can make progress more achievable.


Focus on the next hour only

At times, our schedules and to-do lists can become overwhelming, hindering our progress. When you find yourself unable to move forward due to a barrage of thoughts, consider shifting your focus to the upcoming hour only. For eg – this next hour is for taking photos for content and set a new goal after each hour. These adjustments are here to empower you, not create more stress.

 

Put time limits on your tasks

Do you tend to persist until the task is done, even if it means working late into the night? Consider using a timer and adhering strictly to allocated time frames for specific activities. Self-discipline encompasses knowing when to pause just as much as it involves knowing when to work.


Protect your time

Give yourself the best chance of success by eliminating any distractions to the activity you want to achieve or enjoy. For eg, This might involve turning off your work phone when spending time with family or communicating to friends that you’ll be unavailable during specific dedicated hours. Guarding your time this way maximises your chances for quality rest & better productivity.

 

Going forwards

Now it’s time to consider what adjustments you might like to make to your upcoming week! You may have uncovered an activity that you really love to do that you haven’t been making time for. Well now is your chance.

Things to note: Avoid making too many major changes at once; try implementing one adjustment at a time and gauge its impact.

If a particular change to your schedule works well, consider incorporating additional changes gradually. Remember, achieving balance isn’t a one-time event—it’s an ongoing journey. As situations evolve, it’s valuable to periodically reassess when things feel a bit ‘off.’ Embrace this process of self-reflection to cultivate a more fulfilling and harmonious work-life balance.

If you’d like support managing your work flow and creating more time for you, you can book a free call with me here.

If you feel like you need mental health support, you can apply for subsidized therapy with Pineapple Support here.

 

Wishing you an energised and prosperous week!

 

How to Have the Best Relationship with Yourself

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It’s never too late to build a solid relationship with the most important person in your life – YOU. Whether you’re a content creator or just someone seeking self-discovery, understanding and nurturing your connection with yourself is the ultimate game-changer.

 

Unlocking the Power of Self-Connection:

Amongst all the competing demands of life, our relationship with ourselves sets the stage for everything else. It’s not about being the “best friend” to yourself, but rather becoming a reliable companion and ally. Think of it as building the foundations of a strong, supportive friendship within.

Practical Steps to Strengthen Your Self-Relationship:

Crafting the best relationship with yourself is a journey filled with self-discovery, kindness, and growth. Here are some practical steps you can take to a fulfilling connection with yourself.

Set Intentions and Stay Aware:
Begin by setting a thoughtful intention to cultivate a positive relationship with yourself. Recognize that this is an ongoing journey, and your goals will evolve over time. Keep your eyes on the long-term, knowing that the path may meander but always leads to growth. Stay aware of your thoughts, feelings, and needs, adapting your approach as you grow.

Plan for Now, Soon, and Later:
Break down your self-relationship goals into manageable steps. Establish short-term habits that bring immediate joy, plan for middle-term milestones, and envision the person you want to become in the long term.  Balancing immediate gratification with long-term satisfaction is key. It’s not about perfection; it’s about progress. A well-thought-out plan is your roadmap to success.

Embrace Change with Curiosity and Acceptance:
Change is inevitable, and that’s a good thing. Approach your self-relationship with curiosity. Embrace changes with open arms, understanding that growth is a beautiful, ever-evolving process. Accept yourself in each phase of this journey, appreciating the uniqueness that defines you.

Prioritize Basic Self-Care:
Your body and mind are the canvas of your self-relationship. Start with the basics – quality sleep, nutritious food, regular activity, and mental well-being. Nurturing your body and mind will lay the foundation for a resilient and sustainable self-relationship. Caring for your physical needs builds trust and affection toward yourself and your ability to prioritize your well-being.

Be Kind to You:
Work toward appraising yourself with kindness, avoiding destructive criticism. Act as your own cheerleader and appreciate your efforts and progress. Self-reflection doesn’t mean self-blame. Be honest and take responsibility, but do it with a gentle touch. You’re a work in progress, not a finished masterpiece. Self-kindness is the fuel that propels you forward, fostering a sense of pride and self-worth.

Surround Yourself with Supportive Souls:
Connect with people who align with your self-relationship goals. Positive relationships serve as models and support systems. Cultivate connections that uplift and inspire, forging connections with those who share similar self-growth goals. A supportive community provides understanding, encouragement, and a sense of belonging.

Blend Realistic Optimism with Action:
Perfectionism is the nemesis of sustainable change. Embrace a mindset of realistic optimism by setting achievable goals and building on them. Be patient and celebrate small victories – they pave the way for lasting transformation. Optimism becomes a powerful ally in sustaining positive change.

Create a Personal Crisis Plan:
Life brings challenges, of that we can be certain. Having a crisis plan is your anchor during stormy times. Anticipate challenges by having trusted individuals ready to provide perspective. Write down your thoughts, and remind yourself of your long-term goals during difficult moments.

Infuse Meaning into Activities:
Seek meaning in work, hobbies, relationships, and personal connections. Meaningful activities provide satisfaction and a sense of accomplishment. Your passions contribute to a fulfilling existence – explore them with genuine curiosity and entertainment, enhancing the quality of your relationship with yourself.

Establish Positive Daily Habits:
Start each day with positive intentions. Remind yourself of your long-term goals, review key practices, and navigate your day with purpose. Although spontaneity is crucial, keeping your goals in mind ensures actions that support your self-relationship journey.

Speak Love to Yourself:
Be mindful of your inner dialogue. Notice when you’re being overly critical, slow down, and replace it with gentle, kind and supportive words. Conversations with yourself can be empowering – choose words that uplift and nurture. Transformative self-talk is a powerful tool for cultivating self-compassion.

Escape the “Selfish Trap”:
Challenge the notion that self-care is selfish. There is a difference between healthy self-focus and self-centeredness. Reject the idea that taking care of your needs is indulgent, and recognize that prioritizing your needs is a necessity for a thriving self-relationship. Overcome guilt associated with self-care. It’s not selfish – it’s necessary!

 

A Transformative Journey

Cultivating the best relationship with yourself is a transformative journey. Be patient, stay kind, and revel in the joy of self-discovery. As you nurture this connection, may you find profound happiness, resilience, and an unwavering love for the incredible person you are becoming. Embrace the adventure, celebrate progress, and enjoy the evolving connection with the extraordinary person you are!

If you need support, you can apply for subsidized therapy with Pineapple Support here.

 

Photo by De’Andre Bush on Unsplash

A Millennial Divorce Story: it’s ok to put yourself first!

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Zelena van der Leeden, MC, CDC® and Jake W. Purdy, PMP, CDC® are the Co-founders of Divorce Management, the first multi-lingual divorce coaching firm in North America. Divorce Management operates on a “pay what you can” model offering certified Divorce Coaching and Divorce Transition and Recovery Coaching. Further details can be found on their website.

 

My divorce journey was a roller-coaster of emotions to say the least: I had my ups and my downs, my moments of absolute bliss and also of terrible despair. Luckily, I was surrounded by an incredible support network: friends, family, therapist, doctors and my yoga community.

I got married because I grew up in a time and in a culture where marriage and having children was seen as the highlight of a woman’s life. I had looked forward to my wedding day since I was 15 years old. When I was 21, my teen dream came true and I left Venezuela to live my happily ever after in Canada.

After the birth of my second baby, I started to feel off. I was 29 years old and I had two kids under the age of two. I thought I had the baby blues because I was sleep deprived, but looking back, I was going through a major existential crisis. It turns out, I had grown to become a very independent woman who wanted to explore and travel the world. Marriage and two babies did not fit my new found dream.

I struggled with guilt for close to two years. I did not want to hurt my husband and I did not want my children to grow up in a “broken” family. We tried couple’s therapy. I wanted to make it work for everyone’s sake, but I decided that I wanted my children to grow up with a happy mom so their dad and I decided to part ways.

What happened in the coming years is something that I do not feel comfortable sharing. I went from being a social butterfly (loud latina), to a very private person (mindful yogi). Mistakes and assumptions were made that ended up affecting my co-parenting relationship with my ex-husband, but I traveled the world and my young adult dream came true.

I spent a lot of time by myself and it was very hard at first. I started “masturdating”: I took myself on fun outings and had amazing experiences. I quickly embraced my solitude as an opportunity to get to know myself and grow. I became a registered yoga teacher, a certified divorce coach, a stepmom and an entrepreneur.

I learned a lot about myself: values, likes, pet peeves, kinks and priorities. I accepted myself with kindness and compassion and despite feeling selfish at times, I put myself first. I took care of my mind, body and spirit. I spoiled myself when I could and for the first time as I was present and seizing the day.

Funny enough, this “selfish” act made me a better parent, a better partner and a better friend. By acknowledging loving my true self, I became less judgmental about others. I volunteered more, gave more, created more and laughed more. I learned about having perspective and my emotional intelligence increased a point or two.

Whenever I meet new people, I find myself saying: I am a divorce coach and I hope you never need my services. Even though divorce helped me fall in love with myself, I am not pro-divorce. Relationships require hard work, love, trust, patience and good communication.

Many clients come to us because they are thinking about divorce, but it is not always the magical solution to life’s problems. If you end a long-term relationship and move on to the next one without understanding what went wrong and healing, chances are the relationship will fail again.

My advice is: if you are going through a separation, take the time to fall in love with yourself and to pursue your dreams. Believe me: when my marriage ended and I said I was going to travel, people said I would never be able to pull it off as a single mom and a full-time job. You are the only one with the power to change your life (if there is anything you want to change, that is).

Get in touch with your essence and take care of yourself. If money is tight, take an evening or afternoon off, ask a family member or a friend to watch the kids and go do something that brings you joy. Connect with others and stay true to yourself… You’ve got this! You are stronger than you think.

 

Written by: Zelena van der Leeden, co-founder of Divorce Management

© Divorce Management 2024

Do you feel like you’re living a double life?

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Emma is an International Life Coach, friend and ally to those working within the adult industries. You can contact her here – www.imperfectly-you.com

 

The Choice for Transparency :

At a time when our personal lives are increasingly shared and documented on social media, some sex workers have chosen to embrace a path of transparency and openness about their profession.

These individuals often find empowerment in breaking down the societal stigma associated with sex work. They advertise their services boldly on various online platforms, share their experiences through blogs and social media accounts, and have open conversations with their family and friends about their chosen profession. Their decision to be public about their work reflects a desire for authenticity and a drive to challenge societal norms.

For these sex workers, the journey to public visibility has not been without its challenges. They face judgement and backlash from those who hold more traditional views, and they grapple with the ongoing fight against the pervasive stigma surrounding their occupation. Yet, their commitment to openness serves as a beacon of hope for dismantling these prejudices. By putting a human face on sex work, they are raising awareness, fostering understanding, and advocating for the rights and dignity of all individuals engaged in this line of work.

 

Embracing Anonymity :

On the opposite end of the spectrum, some sex workers opt for anonymity, carefully guarding their secret from all but a select few. These individuals recognize the weight of societal judgement and the potential repercussions that might come from openly acknowledging their involvement in the industry. To maintain a sense of normalcy in their personal lives, they present a different face to the world – one that conforms to societal expectations and avoids the harsh spotlight of scrutiny.

For them, the double life becomes a coping mechanism, allowing them to navigate the complexities of their profession while preserving a semblance of privacy and safety. Balancing between two identities, they navigate the challenges of compartmentalization, carefully choosing who to confide in about their reality. This path may involve creating elaborate narratives to explain their income or time commitments, further underscoring the lengths they go to maintain their chosen level of secrecy.

 

The Spectrum of Experience

Across these potential situations lies a vast spectrum of experiences that encompass the world of sex work. From the outwardly open sex worker to the individual whose parallel life is a closely guarded secret…the range of situations and motivations is as diverse as humanity itself. Some may engage in sex work out of necessity, while others find empowerment and fulfillment in their chosen profession.

No matter where they fall on this spectrum, the shared thread of leading a double life often binds them together. Navigating the intricacies of maintaining separate identities (personal and professional), balancing societal expectations, and grappling with the internal conflicts that can arise is no small feat. The journey can be rife with emotional challenges, as well as moments of triumph when they decide to assert our truth in the face of adversity.

The decision to be public or anonymous is a deeply personal one, influenced by a myriad of factors including societal norms, legal considerations, and personal values. Whether you choose to be an advocate for change by embracing transparency or seek refuge in the shadows of anonymity, the courage and strength required to work in this field should not be underestimated. It is a reminder that every individual’s journey is unique, and your choices deserve respect and understanding.

No matter where you find yourself on the spectrum of sex work visibility, the pursuit of authenticity remains a universal desire. Striking a balance between the various facets of your life, even as you navigate the challenges of leading a double life, is possible. Here are some strategies to help you live authentically, no matter your chosen level of openness:

  1. Self-Awareness and Reflection: Take time to reflect on your motivations, values, and goals. Understand why you’ve chosen the level of visibility that you have. This self-awareness can help you align your actions with your personal values and make intentional decisions about how to present yourself to the world.
  2. Boundary Setting: Whether you’re fully open about your sex work or keeping it private, establish clear boundaries between your personal and professional lives. Clearly define how much information you’re comfortable sharing with different people.
  3. Selective Disclosure: For those who prefer to keep their sex work private, consider identifying a trusted circle of friends or family members to whom you can confide in. Having a support system can provide a space where you can be your authentic self without fear of judgement.
  4. Education and Advocacy: If you’re open about your involvement in sex work, consider using your platform to educate others about the realities of the industry, dispel myths, and advocate for the rights and well-being of sex workers. This proactive approach can empower you and contribute to positive change.
  5. Seek Support: Engaging with others who share similar experiences can be incredibly validating and empowering. Online communities, support groups, and advocacy organisations can offer a safe space to connect, share, and learn from one another.
  6. Prioritise Mental Health: Regardless of your chosen level of visibility, the emotional toll of leading a double life can be significant. Prioritise your mental health by seeking supportive communities, practising self-care, and developing coping strategies to manage stress and emotional challenges.
  7. Authentic Self-Care: Incorporate activities and practices into your life that help you reconnect with your authentic self. This could include pursuing hobbies, spending time with loved ones, or engaging in activities that bring you joy outside of your professional identity.
  8. Embrace Flexibility: Understand that your level of visibility might evolve over time. As you grow, your comfort and willingness to share aspects of your life may change. Embrace this fluidity and adjust your approach as needed.
  9. Challenge Internalised Stigma: If you’re struggling with feelings of shame or guilt related to your involvement in sex work, work on challenging those internalized stigmas. Recognize that your worth is not defined by your profession, and seek out affirming perspectives. You could also speak to a professional who can help you work through these feelings.
  10. Celebrate Small Victories: Living authentically, especially in the face of societal challenges, is an ongoing journey. Celebrate the small victories, whether that’s having an honest conversation with a friend or family member or advocating for change in your community.

In the end, the pursuit of authenticity is a deeply personal journey. While the circumstances and choices of sex workers may vary widely, the shared goal of living authentically bridges the gaps between these experiences.

By honouring your personal values, setting healthy boundaries, seeking support, and advocating for change when possible, you can navigate the complexities of working within the sex industry while still remaining true to yourself.

Remember that your journey is valid, and you have the power to shape your narrative on your own terms.

 

Life Coach Emma x

The Importance of Creating a Work-Life Balance

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We can all struggle with our work-life balance, especially if we work from home. There are times when it’s hard to even remember to eat. At other times, we feel like we would rather do the housework than deal with our paid work duties.
It’s easy to find ourselves in a place whereby we no longer even recognise the difference between work and our real life, thus creating an inequality in our work-life balance. The longer it continues, the harder it can be to even acknowledge that there is an issue.
Some people find that taking a break once or twice a year, to go on holiday and recharge the batteries, is enough. However for those working from home and/or running their own business, find it much harder to switch off and rarely go away for complete rest breaks, or holidays.

Creating a work-life balance is essential for maintaining overall well-being and ensuring that both your professional and personal lives are fulfilling. Here are some strategies to help you achieve a better work-life balance:

·         Set clear boundaries
Clearly define your working hours and personal time. Establish boundaries with your employer, colleagues, and clients to ensure that your personal time is respected.

·         Learn to say no
Don’t take on more than you can handle. Be selective about additional commitments and learn to say no to requests that will overwhelm your schedule or compromise your personal time.

·         Plan and organize
Develop effective planning and organizational systems to manage your time efficiently. Use calendars, to-do lists, and productivity tools to prioritize tasks and minimize wasted time.

·         Make time for self-care
Regularly engage in activities that promote relaxation and well-being, such as meditation, exercise, reading, or spending time in nature.

·         Embrace flexibility
Whenever possible, seek flexible work arrangements that allow you to balance work and personal commitments more effectively.

·         Set boundaries with family and friends
Ensure your loved ones understand the importance of your work commitments and the need for undisturbed work hours. Also, communicate the value of your personal time to them.

·         Prioritize and delegate
Identify your most important tasks and focus on them first. Learn to delegate tasks that can be handled by others, whether at work or home, to lighten your workload.

·         Limit distractions
Minimize distractions at work and home to increase productivity and efficiency. This will allow you to get work done faster, leaving more time for your personal life.

·         Unplug from technology
Disconnect from work-related technology during your personal time to reduce stress and create mental space for relaxation.

·         Communicate with your employer and colleagues
If you find yourself overwhelmed with work, discuss your concerns with your employer or team members. They may be able to offer support or make adjustments to your workload.

·         Avoid overcommitting
Be realistic about what you can accomplish in both your professional and personal life. Overcommitting can lead to burnout and impact your overall well-being.

 

Remember that achieving a work-life balance is an ongoing process, and it may require adjustments as your circumstances change. Be patient with yourself and make small changes to gradually create a more balanced and fulfilling life.

Don’t be afraid of asking for help and never feel guilty about scheduling time for yourself. Pineapple offers various types of support for well-being and your mental and physical health. Remember, someone is only a phone call away.

Stay Safe x

Finding Strength in Slow Times: The Unwavering Resilience of Cam Models – The Cam Girl and the Coach

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Emma is an International Life Coach, friend and ally to those working within the adult industries. You can contact her here – www.imperfectly-you.com

 

Sarah’s story – 

I went from making $250 in an hour to $39 in an hour overnight.

In the business of online camming this is just the way the cookie crumbles.

One day you’re smashing your personal targets and the next there’s virtual tumbleweed blowing through your chat room. Not a soul willing to spend any money with you.

You’re doing the exact same thing you usually do, chatting to customers and giving off the energy that your customers usually LOVE.

When I’m experiencing periods of low income, sometimes it’s difficult to not think it’s my fault. Is it something that I’m doing wrong?

This isn’t like a 9 to 5 where if I’m having an off day I show up, do the bare minimum and still get paid the same.

If I don’t show up and give it my all – I don’t get paid, and sometimes even that isn’t enough. This is why I think that resilience is one of the key traits needed to work in this industry.

What can we do to help ourselves be more resilient during times like these?


Thoughts from the Coach – 

The more than likely reality is that things may be slow due to other reasons that are out of your control. The cam website may be sending less traffic your way, it’s a time of the month where customers haven’t been paid yet or there could be public holidays causing your usual customers to be spending time with their families instead of jerking off online.

Whatever the reason you will never truly know, but rest assured I’m 99.9% sure it’s not your fault.

So let’s discuss resilience….the ability to adapt, bounce back and recover from challenges and setbacks.

Resilient people tap into their strengths and support systems to work through problems. How could this apply when camming?

  1. Prioritize self care – When traffic is slow you may feel the need to work every hour under the sun. This can sometimes be at the cost of your physical, mental, and emotional well-being. It’s important to make time for yourself and avoid overworking by setting hours you are comfortable with and being strict with yourself by not working any longer than this. Engaging in activities that recharge you can also help such as exercise, hobbies, relaxation techniques, or spending time with friends/family.
  2. Set Boundaries – When your room is quiet you may be tempted to offer services, roleplays or situations that you wouldn’t usually consider. Although this may be tempting, if it’s not something you’re comfortable with, don’t do it. Determine what you are comfortable with regarding the content, interactions, and level of engagement you are willing to offer. Communicate these boundaries to your viewers and enforce them consistently. 
  3. Adaptability – If it’s slow on stream how else might you make extra income – can you sell content via mass messaging or other platforms? Perhaps you could drop your price per minute and offer much more PG content like dirty talk for only a fraction of the price.
  4. Social Support – https://www.reddit.com/r/CamGirlProblems/ & https://www.wecamgirls.com/ are great places to connect with other cam models. Having access to supportive relationships and resources in the adult industry can provide emotional, practical, and informational support during difficult times. These types of forums are a great place to ask for advice when times may be slow. Most models on these sites are more than happy to help a fellow model.


Remember – you are powerful, adaptive, creative and resilient! Wishing you a profitable week.

Life Coach Emma x

International Cam Models Day June 15th 2023

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Get yourself ready for the biggest hug of the year. It’s time to celebrate you and the amazing job that you do!

People think that being a cam model is all about glamour and striving to become famous. They see the make-up, the clothes, photo shoots in amazing locations, and sometimes fast cars. What they don’t see is the long hours, hard work and emotional drain it can often produce. For many models, every day is the same as yesterday, it’s like your life is on repeat. Sleep ….. Eat ….. Work …. Sleep ….. Eat …… Work!

However, today we want you to ensure you take care of YOU! It doesn’t matter how big or small the gift is, you deserve to indulge. Here are just a few ideas to get you started.

Promise Yourself

Make a pledge that you will spend a small portion of your day concentrating on yourself. It could be for 5 mins, 15 mins or if you are very lucky it could be longer. Use the time to meditate, listen to some music, or have a relaxing bath. If you like to cook, make plans to cook a new recipe at least once a week. You could go for a walk, read a book or simply take a nap. As long as it’s just for you!

It can be very surprising how even a short amount of time dedicated to a single item can be so rewarding.

The List

Having aims is always important and can often make everyday life much easier to deal with. What’s even more exciting is spending time deciding what should go on your list. It could be a much needed day out, the well-deserved holiday, or even a new car. On the other hand, it could be as simple as a long soak in your favourite bubbles with a glass of wine and a good book!

We all need a reason to work hard and whether the end goal is a small pick-me-up or the glittering prize, take the time to note down your wishes and then make them a reality.

Be Kind

Being kind to others brings more pleasure than you can imagine. It’s the perfect way to elevate your soul and make you feel positive and fulfilled. One single act of kindness can change someone’s day, turning it from mediocre to amazing. Saying ‘Hi’ can bring a smile and alleviate loneliness. It takes no time at all and can make a huge difference.

Above all

Be Good to Yourself

Be Kind to Others

And Relax a Little

Sleep Glorious Sleep

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With a busy schedule it is often very easy to forget about even the most basic method of self-care, sleep. Staying up late to meet deadlines, getting sucked into a new series on Netflix or just getting into a bad evening routine; missing out on much needed sleep can have detrimental effects on your mental and physical health.

The recommended amount of sleep for a healthy adult is at least seven hours, with most people not needing any more than eight hours in bed to be well rested. Keeping a routine can be extremely beneficial, going to bed and getting up at the same time every day, yes, this includes weekends. Being consistent reinforces your body’s sleep-wake cycle and makes Monday mornings a lot less painful.

5 Reasons Why Getting Enough Sleep Is Important

1) Boosts Immune Function
Studies have shown that even a small loss of sleep can reduce your immune functions. People who sleep less than 7 hrs a night are nearly 3 times more likely to develop a cold than those who sleep 8 hrs or more.

2) Stay At A Healthy Weight
lack of sleep has been shown to disrupt the daily fluctuations in appetite hormones. As a result, when you are sleep deprived you are prone to having a bigger appetite and eating more calories.
A poor night’s sleep can also triggers markers of inflammation in your body and cell damage.

3) Lower Your Risk Of Heart Disease
Studies have shown that people who do not get enough sleep are far more likely to experience heart issues than those individuals who get between 7 and 8 hours of sleep per night.

4) Improved Concentration & Bain Activity
A good night of sleep can maximize concentration, problem solving skills and productivity, while poor sleep has been shown to impair brain function. A short night of sleep can negatively impact some aspects of your brain function to the same degree as alcohol intoxication.

5) Reduce Stress and Improve Your Mood
Sleep and mood are closely connected; poor or inadequate sleep can cause irritability and stress, while healthy sleep can enhance well-being. During a study subjects who were limited to only 4.5 hours of sleep a night for one week reported feeling more stressed, angry, sad, and mentally exhausted.

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Getting enough sleep isn’t only about total hours of sleep. It’s also important to get good-quality sleep on a regular schedule so you feel rested when you wake up.
If you often have trouble sleeping — or if you often still feel tired after sleeping — talk with your doctor.

Continue Regular Therapy Online

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There’s a lot to be stressed about – Virus, friends, family, economy, jobs, empty shelves at the grocery store. If you are feeling anxious or depressed, you are not alone.

While everyone is unique in their reactions to isolation, you may be likely to have feelings of loneliness, sadness, fear, anxiety and stress. These emotions are perfectly normal given the current circumstances.

A recent study published by The Lancet reported negative psychological effects of quarantine including post-traumatic stress symptoms, confusion and anger. These effects can be felt both during and after the period of quarantine.

During this isolation period you may be feeling cut off from the rest of the world, unable to continue your usual routine and with no control over what is happening. It is important to create a new normal (for now) routine, to maintain connections with your loved ones and to keep the mind and body healthy and active.

It is important to practice self-compassion, to keep up to date with the facts and necessary information on the virus, without allowing our anxiety to get the better of us.

Taking steps to protect your mental health

If you find that you are struggling with your emotions during this period of isolation, it is important to seek professional help. Many therapists are shifting to online therapy and all Pineapple Support therapists, counsellors and coaches provide teletherapy either via video platform or over the telephone.

If you are currently seeing a therapist and have concerns regarding switching from in person to online therapy, you may discover that online therapy works better for you and your needs. But, if you discover that you still prefer in-person appointments, there is no need to worry. This situation is not permanent and once the social distancing efforts have subsided, you can return to regular, face-to-face meetings.

If you feel you could benefit from speaking with therapist and qualify for Pineapple Support subsidized therapy, please reach out and we will connect you with one of our industry friendly therapists, counsellors or coaches.

 

Resources

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/does-online-therapy-actually-work_n_58af1ffde4b060480e05bd79?guccounter=1&guce_referrer=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZ29vZ2xlLmNvbS8&guce_referrer_sig=AQAAAA-DFVkQ3Y-cDk80cBm1W3jy-Kchis-a0Ocm0358ur5sF6l6RiWhEjWlMbXnPyKCc3SZ1ueKQ6-Il9HV__1a9Gv7OLCqyy2cacPqlPadhmQnQCFHkbMP1NRVwF9HTau9b-Lb3GLGTOFSfVMU8U6FXi1gb6uXWmgvC3qzz4s-gkvc

https://www.cdc.gov/mentalhealth/stress-coping/

https://www.verywellmind.com/transition-to-online-therapy-during-coronavirus-4799808

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-pacific-heart/202003/coronavirus-anxiety-should-i-see-my-therapist-face-face

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0140673620304608

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15324539

https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lancet/article/PIIS0140-6736(20)30460-8/fulltext#seccestitle150

https://www.cnbc.com/2020/03/20/coronavirus-wake-up-millennials-prioritize-your-mental-health-right-now-says-psychotherapist.html