Active Listening: How to become a better listener

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I’m really grateful to have people in my life that I can talk to when I’m having a hard time. But sometimes I find it difficult to talk to the people that know me best. Their love for me and desire to help me means that they give advice, and share their thoughts and opinions, even when they haven’t been asked for them. Often I can end a conversation feeling like I’ve talked a lot, but I haven’t been heard. I haven’t been listened to.

In our everyday conversations, we can have a tendency to concentrate on thinking about what we are going to say next or simply waiting to talk without engaging with what has previously been said. Additionally, if we are not mindful, we can enter into a conversation ready to provide advice or solutions without asking if that is what our conversation partner wants. When we intentionally give space for the other person to speak and encourage them to give further details as they feel comfortable, by asking open questions, we can build connection, strengthen bonds and deepen our relationships. Allowing space in conversation and asking open questions are some of the skills that are the foundations of Active Listening.

Active Listening requires us to pay close attention to the speaker so that we can absorb, comprehend and reflect what they are saying. When we focus on doing these things we demonstrate empathy, compassion, understanding and respect.

Pineapple Support knows that there are people working within the adult industry that feel isolated and lonely, even though they may have lots of friends or industry connections. Many adult industry workers lack spaces where they can talk freely whilst knowing that they are not going to be judged, and that is why Pineapple Support set up a volunteer-led, 24/7 listening service using the online emotional support platform, 7 Cups of Team. All the volunteers are members of the public and adult industry professionals who are trained in Active Listening especially to help our community.

Through the Pineapple Support 24/7 listening service, anyone who is working in the online adult industry, that wants to talk about whatever is on their mind, can reach out to a trained, compassionate listener. It’s completely anonymous, and there’s no judgement and no problem solving. Just a space to help you clear your head.

Equally, anyone can become a Pineapple Support listener. There’s a short, online training programme which you can work through at your own pace. Once you have successfully completed the course, you can start volunteering straight away. The platform works with any web browser or you can download the app and provide support direct from your mobile phone.

Pineapple Support is always looking to welcome new volunteer listeners. If you’d like to learn or develop Active Listening skills, this is great way to do it. We’re looking forward to you joining us.

Do you feel like you’re living a double life?

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Emma is an International Life Coach, friend and ally to those working within the adult industries. You can contact her here – www.imperfectly-you.com

 

The Choice for Transparency :

At a time when our personal lives are increasingly shared and documented on social media, some sex workers have chosen to embrace a path of transparency and openness about their profession.

These individuals often find empowerment in breaking down the societal stigma associated with sex work. They advertise their services boldly on various online platforms, share their experiences through blogs and social media accounts, and have open conversations with their family and friends about their chosen profession. Their decision to be public about their work reflects a desire for authenticity and a drive to challenge societal norms.

For these sex workers, the journey to public visibility has not been without its challenges. They face judgement and backlash from those who hold more traditional views, and they grapple with the ongoing fight against the pervasive stigma surrounding their occupation. Yet, their commitment to openness serves as a beacon of hope for dismantling these prejudices. By putting a human face on sex work, they are raising awareness, fostering understanding, and advocating for the rights and dignity of all individuals engaged in this line of work.

 

Embracing Anonymity :

On the opposite end of the spectrum, some sex workers opt for anonymity, carefully guarding their secret from all but a select few. These individuals recognize the weight of societal judgement and the potential repercussions that might come from openly acknowledging their involvement in the industry. To maintain a sense of normalcy in their personal lives, they present a different face to the world – one that conforms to societal expectations and avoids the harsh spotlight of scrutiny.

For them, the double life becomes a coping mechanism, allowing them to navigate the complexities of their profession while preserving a semblance of privacy and safety. Balancing between two identities, they navigate the challenges of compartmentalization, carefully choosing who to confide in about their reality. This path may involve creating elaborate narratives to explain their income or time commitments, further underscoring the lengths they go to maintain their chosen level of secrecy.

 

The Spectrum of Experience

Across these potential situations lies a vast spectrum of experiences that encompass the world of sex work. From the outwardly open sex worker to the individual whose parallel life is a closely guarded secret…the range of situations and motivations is as diverse as humanity itself. Some may engage in sex work out of necessity, while others find empowerment and fulfillment in their chosen profession.

No matter where they fall on this spectrum, the shared thread of leading a double life often binds them together. Navigating the intricacies of maintaining separate identities (personal and professional), balancing societal expectations, and grappling with the internal conflicts that can arise is no small feat. The journey can be rife with emotional challenges, as well as moments of triumph when they decide to assert our truth in the face of adversity.

The decision to be public or anonymous is a deeply personal one, influenced by a myriad of factors including societal norms, legal considerations, and personal values. Whether you choose to be an advocate for change by embracing transparency or seek refuge in the shadows of anonymity, the courage and strength required to work in this field should not be underestimated. It is a reminder that every individual’s journey is unique, and your choices deserve respect and understanding.

No matter where you find yourself on the spectrum of sex work visibility, the pursuit of authenticity remains a universal desire. Striking a balance between the various facets of your life, even as you navigate the challenges of leading a double life, is possible. Here are some strategies to help you live authentically, no matter your chosen level of openness:

  1. Self-Awareness and Reflection: Take time to reflect on your motivations, values, and goals. Understand why you’ve chosen the level of visibility that you have. This self-awareness can help you align your actions with your personal values and make intentional decisions about how to present yourself to the world.
  2. Boundary Setting: Whether you’re fully open about your sex work or keeping it private, establish clear boundaries between your personal and professional lives. Clearly define how much information you’re comfortable sharing with different people.
  3. Selective Disclosure: For those who prefer to keep their sex work private, consider identifying a trusted circle of friends or family members to whom you can confide in. Having a support system can provide a space where you can be your authentic self without fear of judgement.
  4. Education and Advocacy: If you’re open about your involvement in sex work, consider using your platform to educate others about the realities of the industry, dispel myths, and advocate for the rights and well-being of sex workers. This proactive approach can empower you and contribute to positive change.
  5. Seek Support: Engaging with others who share similar experiences can be incredibly validating and empowering. Online communities, support groups, and advocacy organisations can offer a safe space to connect, share, and learn from one another.
  6. Prioritise Mental Health: Regardless of your chosen level of visibility, the emotional toll of leading a double life can be significant. Prioritise your mental health by seeking supportive communities, practising self-care, and developing coping strategies to manage stress and emotional challenges.
  7. Authentic Self-Care: Incorporate activities and practices into your life that help you reconnect with your authentic self. This could include pursuing hobbies, spending time with loved ones, or engaging in activities that bring you joy outside of your professional identity.
  8. Embrace Flexibility: Understand that your level of visibility might evolve over time. As you grow, your comfort and willingness to share aspects of your life may change. Embrace this fluidity and adjust your approach as needed.
  9. Challenge Internalised Stigma: If you’re struggling with feelings of shame or guilt related to your involvement in sex work, work on challenging those internalized stigmas. Recognize that your worth is not defined by your profession, and seek out affirming perspectives. You could also speak to a professional who can help you work through these feelings.
  10. Celebrate Small Victories: Living authentically, especially in the face of societal challenges, is an ongoing journey. Celebrate the small victories, whether that’s having an honest conversation with a friend or family member or advocating for change in your community.

In the end, the pursuit of authenticity is a deeply personal journey. While the circumstances and choices of sex workers may vary widely, the shared goal of living authentically bridges the gaps between these experiences.

By honouring your personal values, setting healthy boundaries, seeking support, and advocating for change when possible, you can navigate the complexities of working within the sex industry while still remaining true to yourself.

Remember that your journey is valid, and you have the power to shape your narrative on your own terms.

 

Life Coach Emma x

The Importance of Creating a Work-Life Balance

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We can all struggle with our work-life balance, especially if we work from home. There are times when it’s hard to even remember to eat. At other times, we feel like we would rather do the housework than deal with our paid work duties.
It’s easy to find ourselves in a place whereby we no longer even recognise the difference between work and our real life, thus creating an inequality in our work-life balance. The longer it continues, the harder it can be to even acknowledge that there is an issue.
Some people find that taking a break once or twice a year, to go on holiday and recharge the batteries, is enough. However for those working from home and/or running their own business, find it much harder to switch off and rarely go away for complete rest breaks, or holidays.

Creating a work-life balance is essential for maintaining overall well-being and ensuring that both your professional and personal lives are fulfilling. Here are some strategies to help you achieve a better work-life balance:

·         Set clear boundaries
Clearly define your working hours and personal time. Establish boundaries with your employer, colleagues, and clients to ensure that your personal time is respected.

·         Learn to say no
Don’t take on more than you can handle. Be selective about additional commitments and learn to say no to requests that will overwhelm your schedule or compromise your personal time.

·         Plan and organize
Develop effective planning and organizational systems to manage your time efficiently. Use calendars, to-do lists, and productivity tools to prioritize tasks and minimize wasted time.

·         Make time for self-care
Regularly engage in activities that promote relaxation and well-being, such as meditation, exercise, reading, or spending time in nature.

·         Embrace flexibility
Whenever possible, seek flexible work arrangements that allow you to balance work and personal commitments more effectively.

·         Set boundaries with family and friends
Ensure your loved ones understand the importance of your work commitments and the need for undisturbed work hours. Also, communicate the value of your personal time to them.

·         Prioritize and delegate
Identify your most important tasks and focus on them first. Learn to delegate tasks that can be handled by others, whether at work or home, to lighten your workload.

·         Limit distractions
Minimize distractions at work and home to increase productivity and efficiency. This will allow you to get work done faster, leaving more time for your personal life.

·         Unplug from technology
Disconnect from work-related technology during your personal time to reduce stress and create mental space for relaxation.

·         Communicate with your employer and colleagues
If you find yourself overwhelmed with work, discuss your concerns with your employer or team members. They may be able to offer support or make adjustments to your workload.

·         Avoid overcommitting
Be realistic about what you can accomplish in both your professional and personal life. Overcommitting can lead to burnout and impact your overall well-being.

 

Remember that achieving a work-life balance is an ongoing process, and it may require adjustments as your circumstances change. Be patient with yourself and make small changes to gradually create a more balanced and fulfilling life.

Don’t be afraid of asking for help and never feel guilty about scheduling time for yourself. Pineapple offers various types of support for well-being and your mental and physical health. Remember, someone is only a phone call away.

Stay Safe x

A Magical Hogwarts Workout : Unlocking the Mood-Boosting Power of Exercise – The Cam Girl and The Coach

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Emma is an International Life Coach, friend and ally to those working within the adult industries. You can contact her here – www.imperfectly-you.com

 

The Cam Model story –

The client entered an exclusive chat…

C : ‘Can you do a role play for me?’

‘Erm sure’ I replied…only 1 week into my new camming job

C : ‘I’d love to do a Harry Potter Scene, can you be Hermione and I’ll be the gym teacher?’

‘Yes great’ I said, ‘so how should we start?’

C : ‘You’re in a gym class at Hogwarts school, and I’m about to put you through a sweaty workout – are you sure you’re ready?’

I replied ‘yes of course!’ I also felt pretty smug, this client didn’t know that I was absolutely obsessed with exercise and loved nothing more than a hard-core gym sesh…there’s no way he would break me. I was SO ready…

Half an hour in and we had wall sits (on a dildo) , burpees (whilst sucking a dildo) and full squat reps…yes you’ve guessed it ON TO A DILDO.

My god this guy was relentless, I was absolutely pouring in sweat, mascara melting down my face but adamant that I wouldn’t call for mercy. When I agreed to do this exclusive block session I forgot that it wasn’t going to be just a workout and would obviously involve some sort of sex work – duh, god I was naive in my first week of my new job.

After 45 minutes of a gruelling sweaty dildo fuelled HIIT workout the session finally came to an end with the client finally requesting I scream,

‘I’m Hermione the Hogwarts Gym Slut and I want you to penetrate me with your magical wand dark lord!!!’

Thank fuck that was over….

Afterwards I was swiftly left with a message in my inbox announcing my acceptance into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry, I’d passed the test. This certificate was attached.

 

The effort of this client really was amazing

Even though it was very sweaty, gruelling and tough, the endorphins were flowing and I felt AMAZING. Why is it that exercise can make us feel so goddamn good?!

 

Thoughts from the coach – 

The very first thing I’ll ask a client if they are suffering from low mood is – are you active?

It plays a HUGE part in how we feel about ourselves and the world around us.

Engaging in physical activity triggers the release of chemicals in your brain that contribute to a profound sense of well-being, bolstering self-esteem, improving concentration, quality of sleep, and overall mood.

I personally use exercise to manage my OCD. I had suffered with this since I was a child. After taking up regular exercise in my mid 20’s (I’m now 35) my OCD has been practically non existent. You can read more about my story with Crossfit & OCD here.

Yes my vice was Crossfit, but you don’t have to be as extreme. It can be as varied as a walk in the park, dancing in your living room or gentle stretches.

So, if you’re new to exercise or just starting again what can you do to help yourself?

 

  • Start slowly – don’t push yourself too hard at the beginning. Begin with short sessions and low intensity to give your body time to adapt.
  • Find a workout buddy or a class – Exercising with a friend or in a group can provide motivation, support, and make the experience more enjoyable.
  • Choose activities you enjoy: Find physical activities that you genuinely enjoy doing. It could be dancing, swimming, hiking, cycling, or even a team sport. When you have fun, it becomes easier to stay motivated.
  • Set reminders: Put exercise sessions in your calendar or set reminders on your phone to help you stay on track.
  • Track your progress: Seeing yourself improving is one of the greatest motivators!
  • Get enough rest: Allow your body to recover by getting adequate sleep and incorporating rest days into your exercise routine, this is so important.

Check in with your mind: How did you feel before and after, has your mood improved?

*If you experience pain or discomfort, take a break and consult a healthcare professional if needed.
**dildo also optional

Remember, the key is to start small, stay consistent, and gradually build up your exercise routine. It’s not about perfection; it’s about progress and taking care of your body and mind.
Tomorrow’s ‘you’ will thank you!

Life Coach Emma x

Finding Strength in Slow Times: The Unwavering Resilience of Cam Models – The Cam Girl and the Coach

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Emma is an International Life Coach, friend and ally to those working within the adult industries. You can contact her here – www.imperfectly-you.com

 

Sarah’s story – 

I went from making $250 in an hour to $39 in an hour overnight.

In the business of online camming this is just the way the cookie crumbles.

One day you’re smashing your personal targets and the next there’s virtual tumbleweed blowing through your chat room. Not a soul willing to spend any money with you.

You’re doing the exact same thing you usually do, chatting to customers and giving off the energy that your customers usually LOVE.

When I’m experiencing periods of low income, sometimes it’s difficult to not think it’s my fault. Is it something that I’m doing wrong?

This isn’t like a 9 to 5 where if I’m having an off day I show up, do the bare minimum and still get paid the same.

If I don’t show up and give it my all – I don’t get paid, and sometimes even that isn’t enough. This is why I think that resilience is one of the key traits needed to work in this industry.

What can we do to help ourselves be more resilient during times like these?


Thoughts from the Coach – 

The more than likely reality is that things may be slow due to other reasons that are out of your control. The cam website may be sending less traffic your way, it’s a time of the month where customers haven’t been paid yet or there could be public holidays causing your usual customers to be spending time with their families instead of jerking off online.

Whatever the reason you will never truly know, but rest assured I’m 99.9% sure it’s not your fault.

So let’s discuss resilience….the ability to adapt, bounce back and recover from challenges and setbacks.

Resilient people tap into their strengths and support systems to work through problems. How could this apply when camming?

  1. Prioritize self care – When traffic is slow you may feel the need to work every hour under the sun. This can sometimes be at the cost of your physical, mental, and emotional well-being. It’s important to make time for yourself and avoid overworking by setting hours you are comfortable with and being strict with yourself by not working any longer than this. Engaging in activities that recharge you can also help such as exercise, hobbies, relaxation techniques, or spending time with friends/family.
  2. Set Boundaries – When your room is quiet you may be tempted to offer services, roleplays or situations that you wouldn’t usually consider. Although this may be tempting, if it’s not something you’re comfortable with, don’t do it. Determine what you are comfortable with regarding the content, interactions, and level of engagement you are willing to offer. Communicate these boundaries to your viewers and enforce them consistently. 
  3. Adaptability – If it’s slow on stream how else might you make extra income – can you sell content via mass messaging or other platforms? Perhaps you could drop your price per minute and offer much more PG content like dirty talk for only a fraction of the price.
  4. Social Support – https://www.reddit.com/r/CamGirlProblems/ & https://www.wecamgirls.com/ are great places to connect with other cam models. Having access to supportive relationships and resources in the adult industry can provide emotional, practical, and informational support during difficult times. These types of forums are a great place to ask for advice when times may be slow. Most models on these sites are more than happy to help a fellow model.


Remember – you are powerful, adaptive, creative and resilient! Wishing you a profitable week.

Life Coach Emma x

Keeping Calm Under Pressure

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Remaining calm under pressure can be challenging, but it’s a valuable skill that can be developed with practice. Here are some strategies to help you stay calm in high-pressure situations:

Recognize and accept your emotions: It’s normal to feel anxious or stressed in high-pressure situations. Acknowledge your emotions and accept them without judgment. Remember that it’s okay to feel this way, and it doesn’t mean you’re incapable or weak.

Take deep breaths: Deep breathing is a simple yet effective technique to calm your mind and body. Slowly inhale through your nose, hold your breath for a few seconds, and then exhale slowly through your mouth. Focus on your breath and repeat this several times until you feel more centred.

Practice mindfulness: Mindfulness involves staying present and aware of your thoughts, feelings, and sensations in the present moment. When you feel pressure building up, take a moment to observe your thoughts and feelings without getting caught up in them. This can help you maintain a sense of calm and perspective.

Challenge negative thoughts: High-pressure situations can trigger negative thoughts and self-doubt. Challenge these thoughts by questioning their accuracy and replacing them with more positive and realistic ones. Remind yourself of your capabilities and past successes.

Break it down: When faced with a daunting task or a high-pressure situation, break it down into smaller, manageable steps. Focus on one step at a time, rather than becoming overwhelmed by the entire situation. This approach can help you stay focused and reduce anxiety.

Prepare and practice: Preparation is key to handling pressure effectively. Whether it’s a presentation, an interview, or a challenging task, make sure you are well-prepared. Practice beforehand, visualize yourself performing successfully, and rehearse your responses. The more familiar you are with the situation, the more confident you’ll feel.

Utilize positive self-talk: Use positive affirmations and self-talk to boost your confidence and maintain a calm mindset. Remind yourself of your strengths, previous accomplishments, and your ability to handle challenging situations. Replace negative self-talk with encouraging and supportive statements.

Seek support: Don’t hesitate to reach out for support when you’re feeling overwhelmed. Talk to a trusted friend, family member, or mentor who can provide guidance, encouragement, or a fresh perspective. Sometimes, simply expressing your concerns can help relieve some of the pressure.

Take care of yourself: Prioritize self-care, especially during stressful periods. Get enough sleep, eat nourishing meals, engage in physical activity, and make time for activities that help you relax and recharge. Taking care of your physical and mental well-being will improve your resilience and ability to handle pressure.

Remember, staying calm under pressure is a skill that develops over time. Be patient with yourself and practice these strategies consistently. With time and effort, you can become better at maintaining your composure in high-pressure situations. Helping yourself to remain calm usually means others will respond better.

 

Pineapple Support offers numerous workshops to help you deal with the pressures of work and life in general. Don’t leave it until you are drowning in problems or feel like you are going to explode. Take time out to help yourself.

 

The Art of Authenticity: Cam Models and the Power of Personal Creativity – The Cam Girl and the Coach

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This is a blog post co-created by cam model Amelia and Life Coach Emma. We’ve created this blog to shed light on the daily encounters of a Cam Model and how looking at things from a coaching perspective may help you navigate the world between a sexy bad ass adult star and the person you are when the cameras are off.

Amelia Streams on a Premium chat site and Emma is an International Life Coach, friend and ally to those working within the adult industries. You can contact her here – www.imperfectly-you.com

 

Amelia’s story

‘I want to serenade you’ – says the customer in my chat room.

I automatically categorise him in my head as the over complimentary type of customer. We all get them in our chat rooms. ‘You’re stunning’ … ‘Wow an angel sits before me’…’I want to tenderly caress your neck’.

‘Oh really, well I’d love to hear you sing’ – I reply by making small chit chat thinking he’s talking sh*t and wasting my time talking to me without even sending a tip!

Nope – this customer was very serious.

He clicks exclusive and we are now in paid chat.

He turns his cam on and I am presented with his room. A makeshift music studio put together in his closet. Rows of cowboy boots and shirts lined up behind him. He’s sitting on a stool with headphones on, a guitar on his knee and a professional mic set up in front of him. The kind you see in recording studios. The customer is also fully clothed and giving me a thumbs up symbol.

I smile and nod ‘wow you really were serious – are you about to sing to me?!’

Now I’m the type of person that has to turn singing shows off on the TV because I find them so cringe – so my fake face of enthusiasm is really going to be put to the test here.

With no introduction, he strums his guitar and begins singing.

It’s a full blown country song, serenading me with lyrics about missing his love in Texas. I should have suspected, the cowboy boots in his closet/music studio were a dead giveaway of what I was about to hear. I’m swaying and clicking my fingers saying things like ‘fantastic’, ‘amazing’, ‘you’re so talented’. Anything to encourage his very brave performance.

This man was singing from the top of his lungs and was giving it his all. It was truly admirable in a way, even though he wasn’t the best singer by any means. After 7 minutes and $70 dollars later, he finished his set, and I asked him what song he was covering.

He tells me he wrote it himself and that he has many more like this. He’s also hoping that his friend is going to help him properly record them too. He gives me another thumbs up and logs off. That was it, no naked time or sex talk. He simply wanted me to be a witness to something he felt proud of.

It got me thinking that in a job (as an online cam girl) where we may be faking a certain personality some of the time we can feel slightly detached from who we really are. How can we reconnect with ourselves?

 

Thoughts from the Coach – 

Doing something creative as a human being is a real way to show authenticity and your personal identity. When we create things from our own thoughts, efforts and skills we feel proud, and as a Life Coach, authenticity is something that comes up time and time again when speaking with clients. Questions arise such as,

  • When do we feel truly authentic and ourselves?
  • What creative things do we really enjoy that bring us a sense of pride?
  • How can we make time for more of this in our lives?


Creativity serves as a catalyst for fostering authenticity by providing a means of self-expression and exploration. It can allow us to honour our personal voice, connect with our emotions and empower our individuality.

If you’re a sex worker like Amelia you’re probably pretty busy making content for your brand, live streaming or performing. Yes these activities may be creative but when did you last do something creative and fun truly for you?

Here is my invitation for you to do something creative just for yourself this week.

  • Go out dancing
  • Take that pottery class
  • Read that book you keep meaning to read
  • Paint/draw/photograph


Whatever feeds your soul.

Or be like the guy in his cowboy boot closet singing country music at the top of his lungs.

Be unapologetically you!

Emma x

 

Virtual Friends – The Benefits of Keeping in Touch

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It’s true that social media has plugged a big hole in our friendship circles and for some it’s been a real lifeline. The ability to reach out to all those people we know, whether casual acquaintances, or lifelong friends has created a whole new meaning to interaction. 

However, the majority of this contact is virtual, without any form of actual conversation taking place. For some, it can leave the feeling that none of these virtual friendships are real. The physical interactions such as talking and touching are key to maintaining a presence in the real world.

Using apps which offer video call options are great but can bring about unnecessary angst as we struggle to deal with the lack of touch and proper eye contact. Sometimes a simple phone call is easier as it allows us to concentrate on just listening and speaking. 

Showing interest in others is key to maintaining a great friendship. It demonstrates that you really do care about them. Being able to rely upon another person at any time is the absolute symbol of a long and lasting relationship. 

You may go for weeks, often months (and sometimes years) without any form of physical contact but you know when you meet back up in person, it’ll be like no time has passed at all.

Spending a little of your time every single day acknowledging events in your friend’s life and showing them a piece of yours, means a lot. It gives comfort and a little piece of security to those who may feel alone and perhaps lost in this world of ever-increasing Social Media activity. It provides some positive well-being and some reassurance that we are not alone.

Remember …..

‘Good friends are like stars, you don’t always see them, but you know they are there’. Confucius

‘Friendship is the comfort of knowing that even when you feel alone, you aren’t’.

15 Things to do to Prevent Burnout as a Sex Worker

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Because I’m burnt out…
By Miss Mae Ling

In any aspect of life, we must ask ourselves – “what is the goal? Why do we do it?” Some may enter into the sex work industry thinking it’s quick money and must work hard before the age starts to show. But by doing so, you are aging yourself a lot quicker and burning that spark inside of you until you retire early just to come back to it once again once you’ve had a break. Like an unhealthy relationship where you break up, get back together, break up again and so forth. Let’s make the relationship you have with yourself and your work a healthy one. To last long in this industry (yes, you can!), sex workers may prioritize and consider a few things.

1. Prioritize self-care like a sex worker cares
As part of the work, you care about everything and everyone else. Even if you are a femdom, you care about your submissives even when it’s supposed to be about your pleasure! You take photos of your time relaxing at the spa and are technically still working. When was the last time you did something for yourself that you didn’t monetize on? That you didn’t think about how it would affect your work? Make time for your own self-care. Be selfish. You do you – so that you can continue to do everyone else.

2. Exercise like a sexy sex worker
This isn’t just a thing that you do to keep your body smoking hot for work. No, this is for you. Working out, decreases levels of stress and releases endorphins. Feel good, look good and have the strength to kick ass at the things that you do best. It’s easy to fall out of your exercise routine with all the travels or strange occurrences that life throws at you, but remember this is time for you to get into a flow state. Out of your head and into your body. Really feel yourself – you sexy beast.

3. Eat healthy like a sex worker putting something in their mouth
Negative spirals really can take a toll you. Starts off with feeling shitty, eating shitty foods, to break outs on your face due to shitty food, feeling sad because that money making face is now no longer flawless, add on the make up to cover it up just to be in front of a camera – but there is never any make up good enough or any amount that will ever cover up the truth behind it. Your personality, your face shows it all. Go ahead, fake it. Everyone else who is a fan, who knows you, will see right through it. Eat well, feel good. You put so many different things into your body as is, let’s put something that truly nourishes you and makes you glow from the inside out.

4. Sleep like a sex worker after good sex
Sleep is the all-powerful healing goodness that we all know and love. As a sex worker, you work for yourself. You are an entrepreneur; you make your own hours. So fuck that alarm in the ass – it doesn’t need to make a sound. You’re busy with a spicy hot dream date. Not only are you refreshed but you also got some really good creative content. Thanks subconscious!

5. Shift your money perspective – long term money like a successful sex worker
You think the money is quick and good and so you work yourself so much that you burn out. If you actually think of it, by burning yourself out quickly, you are affecting your long term money. The money you could be making later down the line is now dried up because you aren’t at your best. Yes, people can tell when you are not at your best. They are coming to you as an escape and if the escape isn’t the best one yet – they will easily find another available escape that will blow their minds.

6. Saying no – deny like the sexiest sex worker dominant
There is so much power in saying no. By saying no to the client that drains your energy you are reserving it for yourself and the correct connection. By being picky and selective with whom you share yourself with – you not only create an exclusive brand but you also feel good about the people you do spend time with. They don’t drain you emotionally and you are at your best to drain them. No, that message doesn’t need to be responded to immediately. No, you don’t need to take that appointment. No, you don’t need to go online. These are all things you should want to do because you enjoy to do it with the people there. Not because you have to.

7. Ask for help –
As a provider you may feel as though you are the badass bitch that takes on so much. You continually give your time, your energy, you. You are a business though. What is a business if you do not expand and ask for help? It could even be the simplest of things such as cooking, cleaning or more elaborate like editing clips. If you are feeling like there is an aspect of your life that requires more energy, find help to ease it. When that is easier you can focus more on the other things that you truly enjoy.

8. Eliminate unnecessary work
Let’s make a list of all the things you are doing right now. Yes, including all the little things like posting to Twitter to checking emails for bookings. Now consider how often you do it. You say you do these things for work, but they’re just bad habits that break up your work day. Nobody needs to check their emails 10 times a day. That tweet you wanted to post, now lead to a 30-minute hole of you scrolling through your feed. You can be quite productive if you think slower and ask yourself: “why am I doing this?” That’ll lead you to eliminating little things, yes even that thing you do to track your productivity just so you feel good about yourself with checking off those boxes.

9. Take control of yourself – as your own sexy boss
Let’s revisit the reality that you are your own boss. Now let’s shift the perspective and take a look at you working for a boss that asks so much of you. You are working weekends, holidays, after hours in the middle of the night, in the middle of your dinner or lunch break. Would you continue to work for that company? Would you put up to the demands of that boss? Then why do you put up with your own shitty boss that is inside of your head?

10. Change environment to something that’ll inspire the sex
If you work for yourself, if you make your own schedule, do you change it up or do you feel as though you are stuck in your own hell hole of a cubicle that is your living room office? You are the creator of your own reality, so you can literally decide where you want to work…all the time. By changing your environment, you expose yourself to new inspirations, muses and connections. You constantly spice things up for others, spice up your surroundings for yourself.

11. Letting go of perfectionism – sex isn’t perfect
Nobody is a tougher critic than yourself. That image you work so hard to paint of yourself, the brand you are creating. Sure, it’s wonderful but by being so perfect you are creating unnecessary stress for yourself. By putting out what you can whenever you can, people can see your growth over time, follow your progress and celebrate your success. Realize, everyone starts somewhere. It may be difficult not to compare yourself to others, but nobody will be as good as you at being yourself.

12. Pursue passion – we all like passionate sex
Is this a passion of yours? Or is it something that you are doing currently to pay off school or something else? Keep that reason of why you are something at the forefront of your mind. When you pursue your passion, it shouldn’t be a dreaded work day but an excitement for what comes that day. Sex work isn’t your passion? Great, then don’t work yourself so hard that you burn yourself out for something that you didn’t even care for in the first place.

13. Hobby
Do you have a hobby outside of sex work? Something that has absolutely nothing to do with your work? Great, because you are not your work. The work doesn’t define you. You are a whole individual with other things in your life and work is just an avenue that allows you to live the life you dream of.

14. Take a vacation
You are your own boss. If you don’t advocate for your own vacation days, then who will?! Take as many as you’d like! The beauty of the work is that there will be work when you get back. As a sex worker, we do not get any sick days, maternity leave or holidays. So you have to create it for yourself. You’ve been focused on making all that money and what’s the point of money if you’re not going to enjoy any of it? After all, you deserve it bitch.

15. Be compassionate to yourself
Comparison is the biggest spirit killer. Seeing everyone else’s success is there to inspire you not make you self-doubt about your own skills and awesomeness. Be kind, even if you catch yourself doing any of the above things – it’s ok. You noticed it and now you know to how to pivot to a healthier relationship with yourself.
I wish for every sex worker to be successful and happy. There is so much money to go around, but play the game right so that you are able to continue making that money. When people say get a real job to sex workers…my mind is blown as they have no idea how much work sex workers actually do. We don’t have to prove anything to them. Do you and get that bag.

Miss Mae Ling is a Los Angeles based professional dominatrix. The high school cheerleader with the force of an Asian tiger mom. Her hobbies include ballet, yoga, circus training and traveling. You can find out more on her website www.missmaeling.com

Live-Strip Joins Pineapple Support as Sponsor

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Camming platform Live-Strip has joined the ranks of over 60 adult businesses and organizations committing funds and resources to Pineapple Support.

“As the leading adult live chat provider in the German-speaking area, we are especially aware of our responsibilities to our business partners,” said Live-Strip Managing Director Daniel Bender. “Whether it is dealing with a society that wants to marginalize the lifestyles our cam-girls have chosen for themselves or problems that customers relay to them, we know that being a cam-girl can be a stressful and very demanding job. We are very happy that we have found a reliable partner in Pineapple Support who can provide professional help before the problems become too big to handle.”

Founded in 2018 by Leya Tanit, Pineapple Support has so far connected over 10,000 adult performers and industry members to mental health services, including free and low-cost therapy, counseling and emotional support.

“I’m incredibly thankful to Live-Strip for their commitment to our work globally,” said Tanit. “Their generous membership helps us to connect Pineapple Support’s services with adult performers who need it.”

Follow Pineapple Support online and on Twitter.

Find Live-Strip online.