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Pineapple Support Welcomes Five New Board Members

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Pineapple Support, the industry’s leading mental health non-profit, is welcoming five new members to its board. This expansion highlights the significant growth the organisation has undergone in the past year. Pineapple Support is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit in the United States and a registered charity in the U.K.

The new board members are Legal Affairs Chair Corey Silverstein, Fundraising Chair Emma Rainville, Marketing and Website Chair Brad Mitchell, Social Justice Community Chair Tim Valenti and Treasurer Alison Boden. They join President Leya Tanit and existing members Lane Farin (Vice President and Secretary) Dr. Jena Field (Client Support Chair) on the board.

“Our little seedling is turning into a tree,” says Tanit. “In the past four months, the amount we are investing into therapy has grown by nearly 600%. As we’re growing at such a rate, it’s important to have a strong team, our new board members are all exceptional members of our community, who can bring their knowledge and experience to the table. I am grateful and honored to be working alongside them.”

Boden, CEO of BDSM powerhouse Kink.com says she’s honored to join the team.

“Pineapple Support Society is playing a critical role in supporting performers, who truly are the lifeblood of our industry,” “I look forward to working with the organization’s incredible team and my fellow directors.”

Brad Mitchell, Marketing and Website Chair, says the work is personal.

“Having experienced depression myself and lost many friends to suicide, mental health issues are near and dear to my heart. Pineapple Support’s mission is important and I am thrilled to lend my support in every way possible.”

NakedSword founder Tim Valenti is eager to join as Social Justice Community Chair.

“The progress that Pineapple has made in a relatively short amount of time to address mental health issues in the adult industry is both impressive and inspiring. I am thrilled and honored to join Leya and her team to provide expansion and outreach to include LGBTQ models, sex workers, and adult professionals — some of the most marginalized and at-risk members of our industry.”

Activist and Fundraising Chair Emma Rainville agrees.

“Whenever I’m voting on a matter that will affect the people our organization has set out to help, I think of two things. First, what points have been brought to the table by the people who are here? And second, what hasn’t been brought to the table by the people we have set out to serve, but are not present? The voices that are not represented when we are making decisions, those should be the loudest in our ears as we vote.”

Corey Silverstein, Legal Affairs Community Chair is eager to lend his expertise to the cause.

“It’s an honor to get to participate with this organization. Leya and her team have already done so much to help the industry as a whole and I can’t wait to see how far this organization can go.”

Pineapple Support was founded by Leya Tanit in 2018, after a string of losses in the adult industry from depression and other mental illnesses. The organisation has connected over four hundred adult performers to mental health services so far, including free and low-cost, therapy, counseling and emotional support.

Pineapple Support continues to receive support from sponsors and partners, allowing 62 therapists and 226 volunteers to have helped over 480 performers since it was founded. The organisation will host the adult industry’s first ever mental health summit, The 2019 Pineapple Summit, for October 30-31. Registrations are now open online for the first Pineapple Summit, which is entirely online and free for all adult performers. Register by visiting www.pineapplesummit.org.

Why You Should Be Ashamed Of Yourself

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We might think we feel ashamed when we don’t do the things we set out to do. For instance, when we overindulge, skip the gym, or put our foot in our mouths. But what we are feeling in these instances is not shame, it’s guilt. We often use these terms synonymously but they are actually very different.

Guilt is ‘I did something bad’; Shame is ‘I am bad’.

Guilt alerts us when we do wrong whereas shame is when we feel inherently wrong. This may sound counterintuitive but sometimes feeling ashamed is the best thing for us. (Stay with me here). I am not saying that we should feeling bad about who we are. I am saying that often we already feel shame and we don’t realize it.

The most common cause of anxiety and depression is what psychologists call negative schemas – or long-held beliefs about ourselves – such as ‘I am not good enough’, ‘I am not smart enough,’ or ‘I am unlovable’.

We develop these negative self-beliefs when we are children. Often we have no idea that we have them but they influence every decision that we make. When we cling too tightly or reject a romantic hopeful, a negative schema is often to blame. It makes sense when we think about it: if deep down you believe that you are unworthy of love, wouldn’t you be overly anxious about losing someone you care about?

The tricky thing is that shame hides, even from ourselves. Most the time we don’t realize we feel it because it is buried under other emotions. It’s often the culprit behind defensiveness, perfectionism, and people-pleasing.

You’ve got to feel it to heal it.

The only way to stop the negative influence that our schemas and the subsequent shame have on our lives is to identify them. When we uncover negative self-beliefs, we can finally challenge these beliefs and change them.

Some positive news about negative schemas: they are never true.

1) Schemas are based on a child’s logic. Like most child logic, there is a hint of truth mixed with a whole lot of supposition. When we are children, our brains construct schemas to make sense of our surroundings and to help us survive in the world. For instance, a schema like, ‘I am not good enough’ stops us from trying new things and consequently protects us from the pain of failure.

2) Children blame themselves for much of what goes on around them. Children tend to attribute trauma – parents divorce, Grandma’s stroke, or the departure of anyone important – to their own shortcomings. Which is one reason why, ‘I am unlovable’ and ‘I am not good enough’ are the most common schemas.

3) Schemas are overly simplistic. Another very common schema, ‘I am not smart enough,’ is a great example. We may get terrible grades at school but academic tests are only one of many ways to measure intelligence. There are (at least) nine other types of intelligence including interpersonal, physical, creative, and emotional.

Uncovering your negative self-beliefs is just the first step.

Negative schemas are stubborn. They’ve been in our brains for a long time and won’t disappear the moment we uncover them. We’ve got to work at it. I’ve written a number of posts explaining how shame and our inner critical voices harm us. And what steps we can take to change them. Check it out at http://themonkeytherapist.com/category/guilt-shame/