Leadership, Shame, and the Sacred Hidden in the Chaos

Lately, I’ve been tired. Not burnt out, though if we’re being honest, maybe just a little, but purposefully tired. Soul-tired in the way you get when you’re pouring yourself into work that matters. Between maintaining our existing resources and preparing to launch multiple new projects over the next six months, our team is building something big. Something that saves lives, shifts perspectives, and nudges an entire industry toward compassion.

And yet, even in the midst of that purpose, I find myself sitting with shame.

Shame that whispers I should be doing more, being more, holding everything together with more grace and less chaos. Shame for being human in a leadership role that can feel like it demands something superhuman. When I miscommunicate or make assumptions, I find myself wishing I could shield my team from the fallout. They’re brilliant, passionate, and dedicated, and the truth is, I set the pace. I create the workload. I drive the vision that asks so much of all of us.

But I’m learning, slowly, imperfectly, to meet that shame with empathy.

Instead of asking, Why aren’t you doing more?
I’m asking, What do you need right now?

Instead of slipping into criticism, I’m practicing compassion.

It’s messy. It’s uncomfortable. But it’s necessary. Because when you’re leading something that means the world to you, self-compassion becomes a leadership skill. A survival skill, even.

I want to say it gets easier, but it doesn’t. The goals grow. The pressure builds. The stakes rise.
But so does the impact.

And these next goals? They’re huge.
And I’ve got this.
We’ve got this.

I am endlessly grateful to every person walking this path with me, the team that believes, the partners who trust us, the community that keeps reminding us why the work matters.

The truth is, I haven’t been practicing everything we preach lately. I still make it to the gym, routine is my anchor, but after work, I crash. My social battery is empty. I haven’t checked in on the people I love, and yes, I feel guilty about that too.

But here’s what I do know:

The way we speak to ourselves matters.
Self-leadership matters.

If I can’t offer myself grace, how can I extend it to my team?
How can I offer it to the community we serve?

This work is messy.
But it’s sacred too.

Sometimes the sacred hides in spreadsheets and schedules.
In Slack messages and strategy decks.
In showing up even when you’re tired —
especially when you’re tired.

So here’s to the leaders who show up with empathy.
Here’s to the teams who hold big visions with open hearts.
Here’s to remembering that softness is strength
and rest is part of the mission.

with love,

Leya