Written by Liza Belle
Talk therapy is a safe space for open and honest dialogue between you and your therapist. While the overall goal is to identify and talk about issues causing your distress, therapy goes a bit deeper than that.
For a long time now, therapy has been a consistent guiding light for me. Therapy helped me transition from a life that felt overwhelming and unbearable to one that I enjoy living and thrive in – one where I know that I can overcome my anxiety even on my hardest days.
In working with your therapist to identify stressors in your life and understand their impact, you will also learn strategies and skills to manage your symptoms and move forward. If you’re on the fence about it or aren’t sure exactly why to go or what to say in therapy, I highly recommend giving it a try – or a few.
No matter what, we all could use an unbiased, non-judgmental, and knowledgeable person to talk to at times. So, if you ever feel lost on where to turn to, set up an appointment with a therapist. In doing this, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain, and the following five benefits of therapy will give you a clearer idea of what I mean.
Therapy helps with anxiety
Therapy is a highly valuable tool that helps treat patients with a wide range of issues and mental health conditions like depression, trauma, and OCD. And if I have not mentioned it straightforwardly enough yet, therapy is also a tool for dealing with the day-to-day challenges we all face as humans – something that anyone can benefit from.
That said, I want to touch on the most common mental health condition out there: anxiety. People who struggle with anxiety do not just experience moderate or high stress in understandable circumstances. Instead, people with anxiety feel unstable, irritable, or uneasy most of the time and for reasons they cannot always explain. This continuous state of fear can cause difficulty managing your emotions as anxiety begins to dictate your behaviors.
The first way therapy helps people manage their anxiety is by identifying the factors and underlying causes contributing to it. From there, they come to understand their emotions better and reach a place of acceptance before developing techniques to ease anxiety and effectively deal with it.
Therapy can improve your relationships
By this, I do not mean that therapy is a great resource for dealing with social anxiety or recovering from a tough breakup, although it is. But while some therapists specialize in family, relationship, and marriage counselling, any form of therapy can improve your relationships in general.
As you likely already know but may not always apply, better communication is key to better relationships. For this reason, therapists focus on opening the lines of communication between two or more people.
However, even if it is just you attending therapy, your therapist can help you see other perspectives and find balance in the way you communicate with people you care for. For instance, you might have a hard time opening up and being assertive to get what you need from someone; or, it could be the other way around, and you don’t realize the impact your assertiveness has on someone else’s feelings.
While therapists help people cultivate more positive and long-lasting relationships, they can also help you learn how to manage relationships with people you don’t want to keep around. Even accepting that it is okay to let go of relationships that aren’t serving you is a pretty big first step that you can accomplish in therapy.
By learning more skills to gain perspective and communicate, therapy can help you navigate all your current relationships to find greater fulfillment.
Therapy can make you happier
I realize that this a broad statement because, let’s face it, happiness is an ambiguous word. Not only can happiness emotions range from contentment to immense joy, but the things that make us happy vary for all of us, too.
No matter how you slice it, I think we can all agree that greater levels of self- acceptance and self-compassion make us happier. When you accept who you are, you will be more prone to take care of yourself and engage in healthy behaviors rather than succumb to negative self-talk. And the things you discuss with your therapist will help you find more self- awareness and understanding, which is always the first step before self-acceptance.
In other words, therapy is a great first step to a happier life. It is an opportunity to release your past, talk about your present, and foster more compassion for yourself moving forward.
Therapy can make you more productive
Have you ever noticed how you get more tasks accomplished or focus better when you are in a good mood?
We’ve established that therapy can make you feel happier, and the same chemicals, like serotonin, that your brain receives when you’re happy also signal you to learn more, work harder, and apply yourself.
My intention is not to say that you have to work harder to be happy or that what you are doing now is not good enough. Although, I won’t deny the fact that higher productivity is great for many reasons.
The more you strive for goals and succeed, the more accomplished, capable, and confident you will feel. Not to mention productivity gives your life a sense of direction. All of this can add up to a greater level of happiness, so if you think about it, happiness and productivity make up a positive and perpetual cycle.
Both happiness and productivity combined can help you advance in life, whether professionally or personally, and therapy is a way to identify your mental roadblocks so you can find effective solutions to overcome them. As you can see, therapy is not about directly helping people develop better wellbeing, but a tool that enables you to improve any areas of your life that contribute to your wellbeing.
Therapy teaches healthy, lifelong coping skills
Last but certainly not least are the healthy coping skills you acquire from therapy. Coping is necessary to respond to all life’s challenges and problems. Sometimes all coping will feel like it is helping you to do is persevere. But if you continue to cope with consistency and efficacy using the tools you learn in therapy, you will ultimately move through and move on.
When your healthy coping mechanisms become habitual and take precedence over your unhealthy ones, you will feel more in control over your life. Keep in mind that nurturing skills and habits and achieving progress takes time, and so does therapy. It is normal if it takes a while to reap any of these benefits of therapy, which is one more reason not to wait any longer to try it.
Writing by Paul Marlow
“Paul Marlow is a mental health advocate who writes mental health help content to inspire others to find daily actions to get better. You can see more at his site for Never Alone”
It doesn’t matter how good you are as a webcam model, some people just can’t help themselves. Some people are just mean. And we’ve all experienced it a time or two. So today I wanted to share a few things that have helped me and that you can do to overcome cyberbullying as a webcam model.
The first thing that I recommend doing when someone is attempting to cyberbully you, is to take a deep breath. Instead of reacting, just take a nice big deep breath. I can’t tell you the number of people who have called me names, told me I’m ugly and I shouldn’t be a webcam model, or flat out tell me that I’m disgusting.
And comments like those can often be discouraging at times. But what you have to realize is that a lot of the time, these people are dealing with their own problems. They are usually unhappy with themselves and are projecting this onto you. So as much as you want to, try your very best not to take it personally and just take a deep breath.
When someone is attempting to bully you, don’t fight back. Don’t give them the satisfaction and the power to control your emotions. Especially while you’re working.
If someone comments on one of your posts or comes into your chat room with any kind of negativity, don’t let yourself get sucked into it. Don’t give any attention to it. You’re better than that. You know who you are and what your goals are and that’s all that matters.
One of the great things about camming sites is that you can easily block someone if they are bullying your or harassing you. Which is what I always do. The first time someone says something even slightly negative in my room, I block them. And then I move on.
Unfortunately there are times when bullying can turn into harassment and blocking someone just doesn’t work. If this is the case, there are steps you can take to ensure that you are protected. You can use GEO blocking to block countries and you can work directly with a cyber specialist to help protect your privacy.
If you’re struggling to overcome cyberbullying, you can always reach out and talk to someone who is there to listen. Pineapple Support offers free or low-cost therapy to those working in the adult industry who are in need of emotional support.
Written by Penelope Banks
Penelope Banks is a webcam model, blogger, and model recruiter.
Twitter: @Akapbanks
You’re stuck at home, all your usual hangouts are closed, you can’t do the day to day activities you would usually be doing. It’s all too easy to say “fuck it” and stay in bed, sloth around the house eating random combinations of whatever is in the cupboard and watching crappy TV.
Having a day or two every now and again to wallow in our own filth and enjoy the pleasures of numbing our minds and bodies, is perfectly acceptable. In fact, I recommend it. This is not however a healthy way to spend the majority of your time, particularly in isolation.
Days will drag and moods will drop (and drop and drop) until you find yourself in a downward spiral that is hard to get out of. If you’re currently struggling with this, it’s okay, you’re not alone.
Here are my tips for creating a routine while in Isolation.
Early Morning
Each morning I get up at around 7.30am, feed all my animals (question why I have so many animals), make myself a hot drink and, weather depending, sit in the garden for around half an hour. I use this time to catch up on personal social media and messages, to reflect on the day ahead and to be grateful for all that I have.
Morning
As someone who regularly works from home, I am a huge advocate of dressing for work. The does not mean a suit and full make up, it does mean taking a shower, brushing my hair and putting on something that isn’t pyjamas.
By 8.30am I try to be sat behind my desk and to start setting out what I hope to achieve that day.
Most of us are privileged to be able to do some work from home. Be it editing movies you haven’t released yet, doing admin and upkeep on your clips store or cam profile. Work on your premium site profiles or interact with fans. Use this time to do all the niggling jobs you haven’t yet found the time to do.
If you can’t work from home, get creative, look at picking up an old hobby or discovering a new one.
Each day at 10am I take an hours break from work to exercise with a friend online. We do this by picking a video on YouTube and starting it at the same time.
For me, training is one of those things I will continue to put off, unless there’s someone to hold me accountable. Training with a friend, not only makes it more fun, but creates an environment where you can both encourage each other to keep active.
Afternoon
At around 1pm I take a break from the computer to create a healthy lunch and spend an hour trying not to think about work. Then back to the grindstone until between 5 and 6pm.
I have had to be very strict with myself regarding the hours I work. When you work from home it is all too easy to continue working long into the night and forgetting the importance of “switching off”. As the saying goes; “You can’t drink from an empty cup”.
Evening
Once work is done for the day, I make time to call and check in on friends, either via text or online video platform. It’s actually been amazing to connect with people so regularly. This is something that ordinarily I don’t have time to do as I am usually rushing around to complete some errand. I feel that during this time of isolation, I have made deeper connections with my friends. Paying closer attention to each other’s emotions and learning so much more about one another.
Sometimes I take this time to learn a little Spanish (been living in Spain 5 years and can only just about order a glass of wine).
Dinner usually takes about an hour to prepare. At least once a week I like trying new recipes found online and “making do” with alternate ingredients from the backs of my cupboards, there have been mixed results. Of course, I’m not Mary Poppin’s, some evenings are spent eating left over’s or getting a food delivery.
Late Evening
By the time dinner is finished it is usually around 8pm and time to sit with the fur babies and watch a series or movie on Netflix.
At around 10.30-11pm I ensure that the house is tidy and dishes are washed, etc. This way before heading to bed I know that tomorrow will start with a clean fresh slate.
Everyone’s routine is different, the important thing is to have a routine. If there are days that you really don’t feel like getting out of bed or doing some of the things on your list, that’s okay. Let yourself have those days and enjoy them.
Try writing down a daily schedule for yourself, break the day up into segments and make it as detailed as possible. Do your best to stick to your schedule for a week and see how you feel at the end of it.
I do hope that this will have inspired you to KEEP GOING. These strange times will all be over soon and life will return to normal. STAY STRONG.
If you feel you need emotional support or counselling to help you through these unprecedented times. Please, reach out. PineappleSupport.org
Ever since I hit the end of my elementary school years I started smoking cigarettes. Very shortly after that, it carried onto marijuana, (which I don’t believe is a bad drug or addiction) and then I was introduced to heavy drugs along the way such as MDMA, LSD, Mushrooms, Cocaine, etc. At the time I was in my early high school days when this happened so I was very unaware of a lot of things about drugs in general compared to now. Although, even at the time I was doing these drugs I didn’t care too much about it because it became an escape for me and a way to have fun with my friends.
Fast-forwarded to years after high school, something very traumatic happened to my health. At the time right before this happened I was still smoking daily A LOT, drinking alcohol and doing quite a bit of psychedelics almost every weekend. I was in college for a short business-related program so the partying was normal, but I was like that even before. Being high all the time became normal to me.
I won’t go into depth about what happened to me, but let’s just say it seriously opened my eyes to how important health is, how unpredictable life is and that taking care of yourself is needed a lot more than we think. It wasn’t even just the drugs though, it was everything. My mental health and the way I was dealing with personal issues for years were not helping me.
I’m not here to tell people how to live their lives, we are free to do what we want and indulge in what we want as well. I’m just here to share my story to hope it’ll be somewhat relatable at least or eye-opening. I can only speak from my own experiences so I know that overdoing it could have dire consequences.
This experience forced me to quit bad habits that were unhealthy for me. I stopped smoking, drinking and doing other drugs altogether. Then once I was feeling a bit better I tried to go back to my same ways and my body was rejecting it. So I made a choice to just stop doing everything. That has lasted years. I haven’t smoked at all or did any of the drugs I listed above since.
However, the drinking was still something I could do in moderation, and started back up again afterward. This lasted up until last year around May. I’d use any excuse to do it. But whenever I used it when I was going through something bad, it never made anything better in the long-term. A bit before this I started seeing a practitioner, going to therapy to better understand my thoughts and kept bettering my diet. So naturally, I just decided it was time to either stop or cut down.
I haven’t had a drink in about 10 months now. If I make it a few more months it’ll be a full year. I have never in my entire life since I was addicted to anything substance wise been sober for that long, ever. Will I drink again? Perhaps. Maybe. I don’t know. But I do know my boundaries now from with myself and what isn’t healthy so if I do decide to I’m hoping it’ll be under control or in moderation. Being honest is important because we’re all human here. All I know is that I have cut down on A LOT over the years on a lot of unhealthy things and that’s something to be proud of.
As “corny” as it may sound, all of those things have highly improved my life, and not only that but entering the adult industry has vastly helped me grow as a person and into my sobriety. I may have stopped using years ago, but when I was coming more into myself sexually, it has made me a better person. I started to tap into doing things I’m good at: connecting with others, making a space that’s non-judgemental to be in for both parties and to just be free. Sex work has given me that and I’m very grateful because of it. Whenever I think of wanting to use again, I think of how far I’ve come and how much better I’m off without it.
Without going through these changes, I wouldn’t have changed my lifestyle and found a job I’m passionate about. I love being a sex worker and being one and remaining under control with my unhealthy addictions is saving my life. I’m here to tell you first-hand that although my traumas led me to tough experience(s), it brought me right here. To becoming a healthier person through sobriety and finding sex work unexpectedly as a healthy way to make a living while expressing myself for who I am.
So to anyone who got this far here, this is only a small glimpse of my life experiences and if you knew every detail you’d know how resilient I am. However, I’m just another person who has gone through trauma and addiction but is still here living my life. More importantly, living it better than I could have ever thought was possible.
Written by AnnaTame
Follow AnnaTame on Twitter @annatame69
I’m one of the many people who follow your tweets on twitter and I just had to write ya a quick email in regards to addiction and sex work for myself. See unfortunately they both go hand in hand. I can’t do dates without being high. And now I get paid to had sex just to support my habit. It wasn’t always that way. At first it was a high in itself to be wanted so badly by men who wanted to pay big $ to fuck me. But when my friends realized what I was doing I began to hate myself a Lil bit more every day. First came opiates but when I take them I can’t get turned on/wet/ or cum at all. That’s when I was introduced to meth. First time I did it I was hooked. I fucked for hours . My orgasms were amazing and all I could think about was getting that next on hit and dick.
Hello Kena,
I agree with you that the sex industry does have a high rate of individuals who struggle with addiction in one form or another. Let me start my response by defining addiction as I understand it. Addiction is an obsessive compulsive out of control behavior done in spite of negative consequences for self or others. Under this definition any behavior can be an addiction whether it is sex, shopping, food, or substances. While reading your email the stages of addiction and the cycle it can keep a person in comes to mind: initial use, abuse, increased use, dependency, and relapse. You describe “at first is a high … to be wanted so badly by men” which started the process of looking for an outside person or thing to regulate an internal issue. It felt good and distracted from other feelings in the initial stage. Then you started to have an internal conflict of your work and self-worth, to numb those feelings you started taking opiates and the opiates numb feeling as well as your body. Continuing to search for an external cure you tried meth which gives you a feeling of euphoria and increases sexual desire which switched your reward center in your brain into overdrive. This is where you need to increase your use to get the high or reward you felt the first time; which will never happen because you have already experienced it once. Now you are used to the combination of work and meth and you are dependent on them to function “normally.” I imagine it is hard to working without the meth and when or if you try you crave the substance which leads someone to relapse. You are correct in that it is a cycle and it is a cycle anyone can break if they learn and use new tools in recovery. Recovery is not easy and requires a person to develop new coping skills to use instead of the obsessive compulsive behavior. I will go into more detail about all of the topics I have touched on above in the Pineapple support group on Sundays. I hope you keep fighting for yourself.
Sincerely,
Nicki Line LMHC CST
Addiction has affected me in some way my entire life. Starting with family members who had problems with addiction to my own issues with substance control in my adult life. I didn’t used to think I had a problem. Drinking was a massive part of my social interaction. Alcohol allowed me to be “fun”. At least that is what I told myself. I didn’t drink during the day; I wasn’t missing work or life events. I just partied hard when I did socialize until the partying turned into an every evening event.
I would immediately start drinking most nights when I got home from work and continue until I could no longer stay awake. Binge drinking was something I had heard of but was not associating with myself.
This destructive path of using binge drinking to cope with my complete unhappiness with my life finally culminated in a very nearly successful suicide attempt in April 2018. I had decided I was done trying and overdosed on my anxiety meds plus a gross amount of alcohol. I will never forget the jarring feeling I had waking up in the ICU, then reading my discharge papers detailing my overdose. It was in that moment I knew I had to change my destructive behavior.
The sense of comfort alcohol provided was false. It was wrecking my body physically and causing more stress mentally than it was relieving. I had allowed alcohol to bring out the worst of myself, hurting the people around me who loved me. The amount of money I wasted on numbing myself is staggering. I can think of so many more meaningful ways I could have used that money. Getting unstuck from negative thought patterns like that has helped me to move forward.
Staying sober from alcohol has not been easy but forgiving myself for the mistakes I made helps with the process. We can not change the past. I can’t take back the hateful words I used or actions I took out of anger with myself. The effects of my actions will always be.
For me recovery is changing the way I live. Through therapy and my small circle of support, I work consistently to change my thinking. The biggest challenge I have faced in this process is liking myself. Redirecting my perspective to acknowledge the positive aspects of my life and accomplishments helps combat the negative self-talk. When I start to get overwhelmed, I remind myself that I am doing everything possible to fix my life and that change takes time. There is already a noticeable difference in how I handle adverse situations that come up. Instead of immediately intoxicating myself to avoid dealing with the negative, I think through what actions I can take to make things better.
My social life has changed considerably since stopping my alcohol use and I have learned to be ok with that. Watching people I used to spend a lot of time with drift away has been hard. I hold no bad feelings towards this, relationships shift and change all the time. While being around others who are drinking is not a trigger for me, I have found I do not enjoy those environments anymore. I don’t hold that in common with those people that were in my life previously.
I also found that I had to strengthen my confidence in letting people know I do not drink. While to me it isn’t an issue that I don’t drink, I have received a variety of reactions when telling others. When I started this journey I would feel uncomfortable turning down a drink when offered because of the follow up questions that frequently followed. The well meaning “oh, one drink won’t hurt”, “but you’re so fun when you drink”, and my least favorite to deal with the misguided pity responses. In my ideal world just saying no would be enough. When pressed I generally reply with “Alcohol and I do not agree anymore” and leave it at that. I still go out; I still like to see live music and art shows. Now I do it without masking my anxiety with alcohol. I take a minute to go outside if the crowd is overwhelming. Also, allowing myself to be ok with
leaving an outing earlier than others helps so much. I enjoy myself and when I’m out of social energy it is time to go home. Putting my health and well being first felt weird in the beginning, but soon became a habit I don’t even notice anymore.
Addiction looks and feels different for all of us. It is a very personal issue to deal with. I hope sharing my story and how I handle this continuing journey will bring some hope. It is possible to survive after addiction and while it isn’t always easy, keep going. There will still be days that suck and challenge you. Every small change you make to create a better life for yourself will pay off. The proof I have to offer is myself. I am still here, still breathing, still trying, and succeeding. I hope this gives you the energy to try too.
If you would like to contribute to addiction month, please submit your article or video to contact@pineapplesupport.org
Submissions can remain anonymous.
