Our safeword.. Pineapple. Your safeword …CHRISTINA!

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Hello Everyone,

As you know there have been a string of suicides again this past week. Kate Spade, Anthony Bourdain, and in our business.. Dave Slick. It sickens me and saddens me that so many think there is no hope and no one to turn to. I will admit I have had my lows, just like everyone else. But I have always had the strength to pull myself up and go on. Life is like a rollercoaster, without the lows and the unfortunate times you get turned upside down and lose what’s in your pockets.. you wouldn’t appreciate the highs and the wind blowing through your hair as you soar through the sky. I’m not sure if I’d really appreciate how lucky I am to be be alive if I had’t fought for my life back in 2006 like I did, and the long road back. That’s why I dedicate a good amount of time to help people that can not help themselves, to give the them some of my strength for just a moment. In my industry the there are more suicides and depression then ever before. There are a dozens of reasons why. But in our industry It always comes back to a soul trying to find a better place in this world, trying to feel good about themselves and make money. A lot of young people today turn to porn when they feel the rest of the world is shit, want to feel glamorous, and be a star. Unfortunately, 1000’s of others are doing the same. Sadly, with all the piracy none of us make enough money anymore to keep hiring the way we used to.  So the cycle continues as they search and search until they sadly enough can take no more. If you have not heard yet we have created a new support system for our industry talent.

Welcome

Let me tell you a little bit about it before we move on to the fun stuff of the day:

OUR MISSION

We at Pineapple will provide 24/7 support for all industry performers. There will be no discrimination, judgment or stigma.

We will provide free and subsidized therapy, ensuring that every member of the Pineapple family is cared for should they need it.

We will create a safe, caring environment that every performer will be proud to be a part of.

We will alleviate the isolation felt by many performers by supporting each other, so that no one need ever feel lonely.

We shall promote mindfulness and positivity, being proactive in caring for our mental health.

We will spread happiness, we will be the change.

HOW CAN PINEAPPLE ACCOMPLISH ALL OF THIS?

With determination, elbow grease and a lot of support from you lovely lot.

Pineapple Support is a registered charity recognized in both the UK and the USA (pending approval), which means helping us can also help you. So please support our mission so we can carry on supporting you and the performers you love so much.

Everyone looks better with a smile.

Now that you know what it is, please be sure to send any performer that you see is having a rough time our way, or come to us and we will go help them. I am a trained listener on Pineapple as well a Director and Trustee. We are a charity, therefore, we do need donations to keep this going and to help as many performers as we can.

Adverse Childhood Events

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Adverse Childhood Events (ACEs) Study-Physical Problems Due to Unresolved Trauma

How scary is this?  From 1995-1997, Kaiser Permanente, a huge hospital in Southern California studied over 17,000 patients for this study.  It asked questions about abuse and neglect that these patients may have received as a child such as: emotional abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse, etc.  What the study found was that people who were abused or neglected emotionally as children had a whole host of medical problems as adults.

These “events” made their brains develop differently than people who didn’t have abuse or neglect in childhood. This resulted in problems with thinking, socializing, and emotions. This led to risky health behaviors such as poor dietary and exercise habits, eating disorders, ignoring illness, addiction, and general bad self-care. Ignoring health led to in increased number of serious medical diseases such as diabetes, obesity, high blood pressure, and so on.  It also resulted in social problems such as not being able to get along with others, having a poor support system (if any), and mental illness. This all results in early death due to complications of all of these issues.

It is normal for children to numb themselves or forget that abuse and neglect occurred.  As adults those memories may break through and we may start to recall more than we want to.  As we age many people try to distance or numb themselves from these thoughts, feelings and memories by “self medicating,” and abusing food (eating disorders), alcohol, drugs, tobacco, sex, or other things.

“ Persons who had experienced four or more categories of childhood exposure, compared to those who had experienced none, had 4- to 12-fold increased health risks for alcoholism, drug abuse, depression, and suicide attempt; a 2- to 4-fold increase in smoking, poor self-rated health, ≥50 sexual intercourse partners, and sexually transmitted disease; and a 1.4- to 1.6-fold increase in physical inactivity and severe obesity. The number of categories of adverse childhood exposures showed a graded relationship to the presence of adult diseases including ischemic heart disease, cancer, chronic lung disease, skeletal fractures, and liver disease. The seven categories of adverse childhood experiences were strongly interrelated and persons with multiple categories of childhood exposure were likely to have multiple health risk factors later in life.”  ACEs study by Vincent J Felitti, MD, FACP; Robert F Anda, MD, MS; Dale Nordenberg, MD; David F WIlliamson MS, PhD; Alison M Spitz MS, MPH; Valerie Edwards BA; Mary P Koss, PhD; and James S Marks MD, MPH.

“Over the past 10 years, more than 20,000 American children are believed to have been killed in their own homes by family members. That is nearly four times the number of US soldiers killed in Iraq and Afghanistan. The child maltreatment death rate in the US is triple Canada’s and 11 times that of Italy. Millions of children are reported as abused and neglected every year.” http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-15193530.  Sadly, abuse is not rare.

Is there is a chance that you were abused or neglected but you’re not sure?  Or maybe you are sure that it happened. Do you tell yourself, “It’s not that bad?”  Does it cause you shame to think or talk about this? If so, you’re not alone as most people feel this way.  But I would like you to remember, you were a victim, you were a child and you didn’t have the power to stop it.  You may doubt that, but it is true. As an adult you are empowered to talk about this with someone who understands and can support you.

OMG, am I gonna die?!  Well, yes, eventually we all do.  However, if you have a history of abuse and neglect you can get medical attention and regular check ups, eat right, exercise and be more health conscious.  You can meet with a therapist who can help you look at the ways that this abuse or neglect has impacted your emotional health, relationships, etc as well. It is possible to be of healthy body and mind and it is a good thing to strive for.  You are now educated and have the choice to ignore this or empower yourself to go get some help.

Some information taken from the following link where you can get more information: https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/acestudy/about.html

 

WIshing you much happiness, love, and laughter!

Mechele Evans, LCSW

 

Finding A Therapist

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Therapy! Why do I need to go to a complete stranger and open up my deepest darkest secrets? Why would I want to remember the sad or bad things that have happened to me when I’ve worked so hard to keep them tucked away in a box? What if I try it and it doesn’t work? What if I try it and I feel worse? What if I meet a therapist and they judge me?

Some of us may have had the unfortunate experience of going to a therapist and being judged or not understood and coming out with a feeling of mistrust for therapists. We may not know what questions to ask to find the right counselor. That’s why I was so excited to hear about PinappleSupport.com. A place where you know that you will find someone who understands and doesn’t judge. A safe place.

Deciding to go into therapy is not an easy task. It takes a lot of courage to admit that we have a problem that we may need help to deal with. Maybe we’re angry that we’ve been in therapy before and things we thought we had successfully dealt with keep popping back up. Being in therapy doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means you’re healing. It doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means that you’re strong enough to open up and grow.

Here are some things you may want to ask a therapist to decide if they are the right fit for you:
Have you counseled people with this problem before?
Are you comfortable helping me with this issue?
How much experience do you have in helping others with this/these issues?
What things do you do to help clients with my issues?
Can we go at my pace?
Do you give advice, teach coping strategies or just listen?

Remember, ever therapist is not a fit for every person and that’s ok. You may need to try several before you find one that clicks or makes you feel comfortable or heard. If the therapist you try isn’t a good fit, try not to feel bad about yourself or your chances of finding a therapist that’s right for you. Don’t give up on yourself or the process.

Wishing you much happiness, love and laughter!

Mechele Evans, LCSW

Pineapple Support at Exxxotica Denver

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Exxxotica Denver…. Where do I start..? It can only be with a massive, huge THANK YOU to everyone who helped Pineapple Support, to everyone who donated money and prizes at the booth, to all the incredible, kind people that I met over the weekend. To say I am bowled over by the response we received would be an understatement, you guys are just amazing, all of you.

The team at Exxxotica so generously donated a booth to Pineapple Support and allowed us to host a seminar on mental health in the adult industry, you made us feel so welcome and a part of the show, thank you.

To the people who attended the seminar, asked great questions and were so full of love for Pineapple Support, thank you for calming my nerves and for being such amazing people. I’m actually looking forward to the next time we host a seminar and it is totally down to you guys.

The response we received on the booth left me speechless and realizing more than ever how much the industry needs the service that Pineapple Support is providing. I cannot actually remember the last time I received so many hugs! It was amazing, it felt amazing. Almost everyone that came to talk to us at the booth has signed up as a listener or donated their hard earned cash. You guys are the bread and butter of Pineapple Support, without you there would be no us. Thank you!

It wasn’t just the response from the performers and fans that was exceptional; almost every single booth at Exxxotica donated something to our fund raising raffle. To know we have support from businesses within the industry is imperative; if we are going to make a change then we need to make it together.
You guys rock, thank you!
Agreeable Agony
Vibrant inc
Adam & Eve
Bliss Cruise
Pure Romance
Polly’s Pleasures Jewellery
Goddess Nyomi
Bad Dragon
Migliori
Sliquid
It’s The Bomb
Lip Sense
Clips4Sale
My Free Cams
The Tremor
Touch of Fur
Chronic Candy
Cannabis and Hemp Association
Kill Your Culture
Bedroom Kandi
Kritter Klips
Dance Safe
Lux Vanity
ShaundamXXX
Rare Boutiques
Rubber Doll
Kimmie KaBoom

And lastly but my no means least, Christina Carter and Kimmie Kaboom. You ladies are my rocks. There are no words for the thanks I would like to give to both of you. I love you girls so much.

What It Means To Become A Listener

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Pineapple Support provides free emotional support 24/7 to people within the adult entertainment industry. We want to support others so they never have to feel alone. Having someone there to listen can make all the difference in someone’s life. Active listening is a great way to support someone. It’s not solving problems, it’s helping someone feel heard, valued, and understood.

Pineapple Support have joined up with 7 Cups of Tea, one of the biggest and best emotional support platforms. When you join Pineapple Support, you not only get to feel good about doing something awesome.

– You become part of the community that genuinely cares and helps others. As a listener, you have access to peers, other listeners, and mentors.

– You develop excellent active listening skills, which will strengthen your relationships, improve your confidence, and equip you to deal with conflicts.

– You get free hands-on training that is designed to help you learn by doing. As 7 Cups says, training is directly relevant and immediately applicable to your life.

Here is how it works: 7 Cups provide free online training & support – all you need is an internet connection to get started.

• Free active listening course

• Online volunteering from home (or via app!)

• Control your own availability to listen

• Get certifications to boost your resume

• Get support & coaching from friendly mentors

• Feel amazing that you are making a difference in other peoples lives!

 

To become a listener follow this link and click on the orange tab at the top of the page “Volunteer as a Listener”

 

Dr Jena Field

Why You Should Be Ashamed Of Yourself

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We might think we feel ashamed when we don’t do the things we set out to do. For instance, when we overindulge, skip the gym, or put our foot in our mouths. But what we are feeling in these instances is not shame, it’s guilt. We often use these terms synonymously but they are actually very different.

Guilt is ‘I did something bad’; Shame is ‘I am bad’.

Guilt alerts us when we do wrong whereas shame is when we feel inherently wrong. This may sound counterintuitive but sometimes feeling ashamed is the best thing for us. (Stay with me here). I am not saying that we should feeling bad about who we are. I am saying that often we already feel shame and we don’t realize it.

The most common cause of anxiety and depression is what psychologists call negative schemas – or long-held beliefs about ourselves – such as ‘I am not good enough’, ‘I am not smart enough,’ or ‘I am unlovable’.

We develop these negative self-beliefs when we are children. Often we have no idea that we have them but they influence every decision that we make. When we cling too tightly or reject a romantic hopeful, a negative schema is often to blame. It makes sense when we think about it: if deep down you believe that you are unworthy of love, wouldn’t you be overly anxious about losing someone you care about?

The tricky thing is that shame hides, even from ourselves. Most the time we don’t realize we feel it because it is buried under other emotions. It’s often the culprit behind defensiveness, perfectionism, and people-pleasing.

You’ve got to feel it to heal it.

The only way to stop the negative influence that our schemas and the subsequent shame have on our lives is to identify them. When we uncover negative self-beliefs, we can finally challenge these beliefs and change them.

Some positive news about negative schemas: they are never true.

1) Schemas are based on a child’s logic. Like most child logic, there is a hint of truth mixed with a whole lot of supposition. When we are children, our brains construct schemas to make sense of our surroundings and to help us survive in the world. For instance, a schema like, ‘I am not good enough’ stops us from trying new things and consequently protects us from the pain of failure.

2) Children blame themselves for much of what goes on around them. Children tend to attribute trauma – parents divorce, Grandma’s stroke, or the departure of anyone important – to their own shortcomings. Which is one reason why, ‘I am unlovable’ and ‘I am not good enough’ are the most common schemas.

3) Schemas are overly simplistic. Another very common schema, ‘I am not smart enough,’ is a great example. We may get terrible grades at school but academic tests are only one of many ways to measure intelligence. There are (at least) nine other types of intelligence including interpersonal, physical, creative, and emotional.

Uncovering your negative self-beliefs is just the first step.

Negative schemas are stubborn. They’ve been in our brains for a long time and won’t disappear the moment we uncover them. We’ve got to work at it. I’ve written a number of posts explaining how shame and our inner critical voices harm us. And what steps we can take to change them. Check it out at http://themonkeytherapist.com/category/guilt-shame/

Too Strong To Be Weak

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I like to consider myself a strong woman, I know myself, I love myself and I never pretend to be a person that I am not.

So why did I allow myself to be emotionally bullied to a point where I turned my back on a career that makes me happy?

Admittedly when I met this man I was in a delicate state, lonely and bored. Bored is always a dangerous one! He seemed so lovely, exciting, caring and the rock I so needed to lean against. He was aware from day one of what I did as a career and was supportive and apparently intrigued by it. Then everything changed, he fell in love, apparently, I don’t think a narcissist can know what love truly is. That is what he was, a narcissist, in the purest form. The only way he took pleasure was in putting me down, draining any ounce of positive energy I had. He would talk about my job and my friends as if they were tarnished, he would shout and scream at me if I so much as mentioned anything to do with the fetish industry, fuck, I couldn’t even put my hair in victory rolls without a bitter remark. In the end it just became easier not to talk or do anything that was remotely related, this included going to events and seeing my friends.

Of course once this was removed from the relationship he soon found other reasons to shout at me and put me down, and I put up with it. Why? For two years. Why?

Eventually I sorted myself out and kicked him out of my house, but it still confuses the shit out of me. How could I allow someone to make me feel this way? I know I will not do it again. Life is too short and too precious.

Full Yogic Breathing Exercise

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Full Yogic Breath or 3 part Breath

Almost everybody not uses full lung capacity, which can lead to disorders.

Breathing is life.
Breathing is healing.

Why Do This Exercise?:

By learning to breath properly you IMPROVE BREATH CAPACITY.
It can PREVENT disease or even REVERSE harmful conditions that can lead up to disease.
Each practice promotes VITALITY AND RELAXATION in only 1 single exercise.

Invest 5 up to 10 minutes of your time or even less to notice the benefits!

Guideline:

Do NOT use strain
Make the Breath smooth and effortless
Go slow and easy

Most important benefits of full yogic Breath are:

CALMS THE MIND
REDUCES EMOTIONAL AND NERVOUS ANXIETY

Other benefits are:

– release of muscular tension around the heart and digestive organs
helps to overcome the fear of shortage of Breath
Increases cardio vascular system
Improves detoxification
Amplifies auto immune system by increasing energy flow to the endocrine system.

 

Visit Katja’s website www.ReinventYou.me

 

A Blog of Thanks

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When I began this project, I had no idea how many wonderful, kind people there still were in this world. It is easy to get blinded by all the negativity in the media and forget that the majority of people are inherently good.

Launching Pineapple Support, I had no idea what I was letting myself in for and so far the journey has been incredible, learning so much about the nature of people and even myself.

So for the 1st blog post on PineappleSupport.com I would like to give thanks to some of those who have gone beyond the call of duty and helped make this dream a reality.

Pat and the team at 7cups, you made the impossible possible. Thank you for believing in Pineapple Support and all that we strive to accomplish

Glen at CSDesign agency, thank you for dropping everything and coming to my rescue…. a lot. You really have gone above and beyond.

Bernadette Giacomazzo, publicist extraordinaire, you donated the most valuable commodity, your time. Thank you.

Ian at Woven Inc, after 16 years of friendship, thank you for not only putting up with my indecisive ramblings, but also producing the highest quality merchandise.

Nic at Highground Design, the brave man who agreed to design the PineappleSupport.com website. Little did you know just how many expletives a woman could use in one sentence, thank you for not telling me to f*** off yet.

Jena Field, my friend, my copy write and the very first therapist to get on board with Pineapple Support. You have helped me more than you could ever know. Thank you.

Michele Karban, Pineapple Support therapist, one of my closest friends and closest neighbours. I am very aware of how irritating I have been, thank you for helping me arrange the hectic mess that was my mind…. and for still speaking to me.

Christina Carter, Kimmie Kaboom and Nyssa Nevers, my sisters from other Misters, thank you for your love, your support and for always being at the other end of the telephone whenever I have needed you. I love you.