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Life & Sex-Work Has Led Me To Sobriety by AnnaTame

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Ever since I hit the end of my elementary school years I started smoking cigarettes. Very shortly after that, it carried onto marijuana, (which I don’t believe is a bad drug or addiction) and then I was introduced to heavy drugs along the way such as MDMA, LSD, Mushrooms, Cocaine, etc. At the time I was in my early high school days when this happened so I was very unaware of a lot of things about drugs in general compared to now. Although, even at the time I was doing these drugs I didn’t care too much about it because it became an escape for me and a way to have fun with my friends.

Fast-forwarded to years after high school, something very traumatic happened to my health. At the time right before this happened I was still smoking daily A LOT, drinking alcohol and doing quite a bit of psychedelics almost every weekend. I was in college for a short business-related program so the partying was normal, but I was like that even before. Being high all the time became normal to me.

I won’t go into depth about what happened to me, but let’s just say it seriously opened my eyes to how important health is, how unpredictable life is and that taking care of yourself is needed a lot more than we think. It wasn’t even just the drugs though, it was everything. My mental health and the way I was dealing with personal issues for years were not helping me.

I’m not here to tell people how to live their lives, we are free to do what we want and indulge in what we want as well. I’m just here to share my story to hope it’ll be somewhat relatable at least or eye-opening. I can only speak from my own experiences so I know that overdoing it could have dire consequences.

This experience forced me to quit bad habits that were unhealthy for me. I stopped smoking, drinking and doing other drugs altogether. Then once I was feeling a bit better I tried to go back to my same ways and my body was rejecting it. So I made a choice to just stop doing everything. That has lasted years. I haven’t smoked at all or did any of the drugs I listed above since.

However, the drinking was still something I could do in moderation, and started back up again afterward. This lasted up until last year around May. I’d use any excuse to do it. But whenever I used it when I was going through something bad, it never made anything better in the long-term. A bit before this I started seeing a practitioner, going to therapy to better understand my thoughts and kept bettering my diet. So naturally, I just decided it was time to either stop or cut down.

I haven’t had a drink in about 10 months now. If I make it a few more months it’ll be a full year. I have never in my entire life since I was addicted to anything substance wise been sober for that long, ever. Will I drink again? Perhaps. Maybe. I don’t know. But I do know my boundaries now from with myself and what isn’t healthy so if I do decide to I’m hoping it’ll be under control or in moderation. Being honest is important because we’re all human here. All I know is that I have cut down on A LOT over the years on a lot of unhealthy things and that’s something to be proud of.

As “corny” as it may sound, all of those things have highly improved my life, and not only that but entering the adult industry has vastly helped me grow as a person and into my sobriety. I may have stopped using years ago, but when I was coming more into myself sexually, it has made me a better person. I started to tap into doing things I’m good at: connecting with others, making a space that’s non-judgemental to be in for both parties and to just be free. Sex work has given me that and I’m very grateful because of it. Whenever I think of wanting to use again, I think of how far I’ve come and how much better I’m off without it.

Without going through these changes, I wouldn’t have changed my lifestyle and found a job I’m passionate about. I love being a sex worker and being one and remaining under control with my unhealthy addictions is saving my life. I’m here to tell you first-hand that although my traumas led me to tough experience(s), it brought me right here. To becoming a healthier person through sobriety and finding sex work unexpectedly as a healthy way to make a living while expressing myself for who I am.

So to anyone who got this far here, this is only a small glimpse of my life experiences and if you knew every detail you’d know how resilient I am. However, I’m just another person who has gone through trauma and addiction but is still here living my life. More importantly, living it better than I could have ever thought was possible.

Written by AnnaTame
Follow AnnaTame on Twitter @annatame69

5 Things to Remember in Early Sobriety

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Kristie Overstreet Ph.D., LPCC, LMHC, LPC, CST

So here you are in early recovery. You’ve decided to get sober, and you’re feeling okay most days. You know that the tough times are coming, and early sobriety isn’t easy. Here are the five things to remember in early recovery to help you stay sober.

1. Fill your downtime
Especially in early recovery, it can be hard to have downtime. Your substance use consumed your time, and now that your sober, what will you do with the extra time on your hands?

Avoid idle downtime by filling your schedule with things to do. Whether it’s visiting friends, going to a 12-step meeting, or working on your to-do list, don’t sit around aimlessly. Your addiction is wanting you to give it an excuse to use, which can be avoided by staying busy.

2. Get back in touch with your hobbies
Many times in active addiction, it’s easy to lose touch with the things you use to enjoy doing. Now that your sober, you have more time to enjoy hobbies or things that interest you.

If you are struggling to remember what these are, think back to what you enjoyed doing growing up. Did you play video games, draw, or play the guitar? Have you wanted to try something new like painting, yoga, or getting a pet? Try making a list of things that interest you and pick a new one each week. Hobbies will help you find enjoyment in the little things that you use to not have time for.

3. Get active
Your body wants to move, and being active in your sobriety is a great coping skill. Your brain used to be stimulated by substances that released feel-good chemicals, and now that they are not triggered, you’ll need to access them through exercise.

Sure, you can’t 100% simulate the high you received from your substance of choice, but being active can access the same area of the brain. Have you ever heard of a runner’s high? It’s the feeling you get after running that makes you feel like you are on top of the world. Find some form of exercise or physical activity that you enjoy.

4. Find your triggers and how to cope
Everyone has different things that trigger them to one to use. Whether it’s people, places, or things, you need to know which ones to watch out for in your recovery. Make a list of things that make you want to use your substance of choice. No matter how small or large they are, add them to the list.

After you have listed your triggers, then identify a coping skill you will use with each of them. For example, going into a particular place where you used may be a trigger for you. One coping skill is to avoid the location for a while, or you will have someone who supports your recovery with you when you go there. Knowing your triggers and how to cope with each of them will help you stay sober.

5. Surround yourself with support
The more supportive people you have around you, the better chance you’ll have in early recovery. Whether it’s friends, family, a sponsor, or other sober people, remember that you are not alone.

You will feel like you’re the only one, so avoid being alone and isolative. Force yourself to get outside and around others. Challenge yourself to reach out to one person each day, even if it’s only a few minutes. Doing this will keep you in the habit of staying connected.

Recovery from your substance of choice is hard, but you’ve done harder things in your life. Your sobriety will be challenged daily, so you’ll have to recommit each day you wake up. As time goes by, it will get easier, but you’ll need to stay focused on doing what’s right for you and not those around you.

Taking it one day at a time can be too difficult, so break it down to one hour or one minute at a time. Your future is worth it, and you can’t have it while you are in active addiction.