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How to Have the Best Relationship with Yourself

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It’s never too late to build a solid relationship with the most important person in your life – YOU. Whether you’re a content creator or just someone seeking self-discovery, understanding and nurturing your connection with yourself is the ultimate game-changer.

 

Unlocking the Power of Self-Connection:

Amongst all the competing demands of life, our relationship with ourselves sets the stage for everything else. It’s not about being the “best friend” to yourself, but rather becoming a reliable companion and ally. Think of it as building the foundations of a strong, supportive friendship within.

Practical Steps to Strengthen Your Self-Relationship:

Crafting the best relationship with yourself is a journey filled with self-discovery, kindness, and growth. Here are some practical steps you can take to a fulfilling connection with yourself.

Set Intentions and Stay Aware:
Begin by setting a thoughtful intention to cultivate a positive relationship with yourself. Recognize that this is an ongoing journey, and your goals will evolve over time. Keep your eyes on the long-term, knowing that the path may meander but always leads to growth. Stay aware of your thoughts, feelings, and needs, adapting your approach as you grow.

Plan for Now, Soon, and Later:
Break down your self-relationship goals into manageable steps. Establish short-term habits that bring immediate joy, plan for middle-term milestones, and envision the person you want to become in the long term.  Balancing immediate gratification with long-term satisfaction is key. It’s not about perfection; it’s about progress. A well-thought-out plan is your roadmap to success.

Embrace Change with Curiosity and Acceptance:
Change is inevitable, and that’s a good thing. Approach your self-relationship with curiosity. Embrace changes with open arms, understanding that growth is a beautiful, ever-evolving process. Accept yourself in each phase of this journey, appreciating the uniqueness that defines you.

Prioritize Basic Self-Care:
Your body and mind are the canvas of your self-relationship. Start with the basics – quality sleep, nutritious food, regular activity, and mental well-being. Nurturing your body and mind will lay the foundation for a resilient and sustainable self-relationship. Caring for your physical needs builds trust and affection toward yourself and your ability to prioritize your well-being.

Be Kind to You:
Work toward appraising yourself with kindness, avoiding destructive criticism. Act as your own cheerleader and appreciate your efforts and progress. Self-reflection doesn’t mean self-blame. Be honest and take responsibility, but do it with a gentle touch. You’re a work in progress, not a finished masterpiece. Self-kindness is the fuel that propels you forward, fostering a sense of pride and self-worth.

Surround Yourself with Supportive Souls:
Connect with people who align with your self-relationship goals. Positive relationships serve as models and support systems. Cultivate connections that uplift and inspire, forging connections with those who share similar self-growth goals. A supportive community provides understanding, encouragement, and a sense of belonging.

Blend Realistic Optimism with Action:
Perfectionism is the nemesis of sustainable change. Embrace a mindset of realistic optimism by setting achievable goals and building on them. Be patient and celebrate small victories – they pave the way for lasting transformation. Optimism becomes a powerful ally in sustaining positive change.

Create a Personal Crisis Plan:
Life brings challenges, of that we can be certain. Having a crisis plan is your anchor during stormy times. Anticipate challenges by having trusted individuals ready to provide perspective. Write down your thoughts, and remind yourself of your long-term goals during difficult moments.

Infuse Meaning into Activities:
Seek meaning in work, hobbies, relationships, and personal connections. Meaningful activities provide satisfaction and a sense of accomplishment. Your passions contribute to a fulfilling existence – explore them with genuine curiosity and entertainment, enhancing the quality of your relationship with yourself.

Establish Positive Daily Habits:
Start each day with positive intentions. Remind yourself of your long-term goals, review key practices, and navigate your day with purpose. Although spontaneity is crucial, keeping your goals in mind ensures actions that support your self-relationship journey.

Speak Love to Yourself:
Be mindful of your inner dialogue. Notice when you’re being overly critical, slow down, and replace it with gentle, kind and supportive words. Conversations with yourself can be empowering – choose words that uplift and nurture. Transformative self-talk is a powerful tool for cultivating self-compassion.

Escape the “Selfish Trap”:
Challenge the notion that self-care is selfish. There is a difference between healthy self-focus and self-centeredness. Reject the idea that taking care of your needs is indulgent, and recognize that prioritizing your needs is a necessity for a thriving self-relationship. Overcome guilt associated with self-care. It’s not selfish – it’s necessary!

 

A Transformative Journey

Cultivating the best relationship with yourself is a transformative journey. Be patient, stay kind, and revel in the joy of self-discovery. As you nurture this connection, may you find profound happiness, resilience, and an unwavering love for the incredible person you are becoming. Embrace the adventure, celebrate progress, and enjoy the evolving connection with the extraordinary person you are!

If you need support, you can apply for subsidized therapy with Pineapple Support here.

 

Photo by De’Andre Bush on Unsplash

Love and Mental Well-Being: Tips for Improving Your Relationships

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In life, relationships and feeling good go hand in hand, influencing each other in meaningful ways. As social beings, we naturally crave connection, sparking the question: do good feelings cultivate strong relationships, or do healthy relationships ensure well-being? The answer is a little bit of both.

 

Relationships and Mental Health

A study from Harvard University found that having people who care about us can make our physical, emotional, and mental health more stable. So, being happy and healthy is linked to the relationships we have. Taking care of these connections is as crucial as looking after our physical health.

In a supportive environment, we feel less alone, less anxious, and less scared. Having friends and family we can count on helps us ask for help before things get too hard, making us stronger when facing challenges.

But having lots of relationships isn’t the key – it’s about having good ones. It’s normal to have some problems with friends, family, or partners now and then, but they don’t have to be perfect. What matters most is knowing we can rely on our loved ones when times get tough.

Relationship Changes

In romantic relationships, a rough patch is common, but it’s the assurance that your partner will stand by you that matters most. If things turn bad or stay difficult for a long time, even being around people might not stop feelings of loneliness and sadness.

Breakups and relationship changes can be tough on our mental health. Feeling lonely and isolated can be significant problems. This also happens when we lose a job, retire, experience grief or go through periods without daily positive connections.

Experiencing conflict in the household doesn’t only stress the grown-ups; it can also detrimentally impact the well-being and development of children. In situations where one person uses fear to control another, it can make it hard for the adults and children involved to make and keep good relationships in the future.

Equally, when we’re not feeling good mentally, it can also affect our relationships. When dealing with anxiety, depression, or other mental health issues, it can be hard to be interested in our loved ones and invest time or energy into creating  connection. People experiencing poor mental health might feel embarrassed and blame themselves, making it tough to feel close to others and disrupting the balance of mutual support.

 

Ways that you can improve your relationships:

  • To start, think about the relationships you currently have, and the sorts of relationships you would like to have. For example, you might want to make new friends, or strengthen your existing relationships.
  • If you want to strengthen existing relationships, reach out to people you already know, such as co-workers, family, friends-of-friends or neighbours. Suggest that you would like to be in touch more often, and organise to have a coffee, go for a walk, or do another activity you both enjoy.
  • If you are experiencing a period where you are not having daily interactions with other people, and are feeling lonely as a result, you may need to be more intentional in fostering existing relationships or making new connections.
  • If you want to make new friends or social connections, joining a club or group is a great idea. Check out your local community centre to see if there are any groups you might be interested in. Another option is using an app or a forum that brings together people based on common interests.

Good relationships take time and energy. Ultimately, every one of us needs good, supportive relationships to maintain our mental health, and good mental health to sustain our relationships. Remember that building new connections and working on existing relationships often takes time, but it’s always worth it. Be patient and congratulate yourself for doing something that’s been proven to have a positive impact on your emotional and physical wellbeing.

Get support when you need it

If you are experiencing mental health issues, it might feel impossible to put time and energy into our relationships, even if it’s with a close friend or family member, and even when we know it’ll help us in the long run.
It’s okay to ask for help and it’s also okay to take a break from relationships to focus on feeling better mentally when needed. Balancing both is tricky, and getting help ensures you take care of everything.

If you need support, you can apply for subsidized therapy with Pineapple Support here.

A Guide to Deepening Intimacy in Your Relationship

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If you’re a content creator in the adult industry, you know that authenticity and connection are key to making content that truly resonates. So, let’s explore 10 tips to enhance your personal life and infuse that magic into your intimate relationships.

Understanding Intimacy

Let’s take a moment to define what we mean by ‘intimacy.’ It’s more than just the steamy sex – it’s about building deep emotional connections, embracing vulnerability, and establishing trust. It involves sharing thoughts, feelings, and experiences openly, creating a space for authenticity, and fostering a sense of belonging. And the beauty of it? The benefits are incredible – reduced stress, increased happiness, and a more pleasurable connection.

 

  1. Prioritize Daily Emotional Intimacy:
    In the hustle of life, we often forget the power of emotional connection. Setting aside quality time without distractions, having regular date nights, and engaging in relationship check-ins can work wonders. These moments of connection not only strengthen the bond of your personal relationship, it can also fuel the flames of on-screen desire.
  2. Be Vulnerable and Radically Honest:
    Intimacy thrives on openness, and this holds true for both your personal and professional life. Sharing your thoughts, dreams, and struggles – a practice known as personal disclosure – is crucial for building emotional connection.. Creating a two-way street for vulnerability establishes an environment of trust and emotional safety, enhancing connections on and off the screen.
  3. Improve Intimate Communication:
    Talking about sex can actually improve sexual satisfaction. Research has found that couples who openly discuss their desires report higher levels of satisfaction overall. So, start the conversation about what you like, dislike, and what turns you on. It’s a pathway to deeper connection.
  4. Reminisce & Retell Your ‘Love Story’:
    Take a trip down memory lane. Reminisce about how you first met, your favorite adventures, and those funny moments that define your journey. Research shows that couples who positively recollect their relationship stories have stronger and more intimate relationships overall.
  5. Scheduled Sex:
    Scheduling sex might sound unromantic, but think of it as making the important things a priority. By putting it in your calendar, you’re making a commitment to each other. Understanding what activities turn on the sexual spark for both of you can add excitement to scheduled encounters.
  6. Get Better at Conflict Resolution:
    Intimacy isn’t just about the good stuff; it’s also about navigating conflicts in a healthy way. Active listening, emotional intelligence, grounded communication, and knowing when to call an effective ‘timeout’ are essential skills for building trust and safety. The result is scenes, and personal relationships, that captivate and endure.
  7. Exercise or Try Something New:
    Boosting adrenaline through exciting activities can trick your brain into associating the excitement with sexual arousal. So, whether it’s trying a new activity together or hitting the gym, infusing a bit of adventure can spice up your connection.
  8. Share Appreciation:
    Expressing gratitude for the little things your partner does can have a profound impact on your relationship. Research indicates that couples who make a habit of expressing gratitude spend more time together, increasing intimacy and strengthening connection.
  9. Celebrate Each Other’s Success:
    How you respond to your partner’s achievements matters. An active-constructive response, where you show enthusiasm and interest, is associated with greater relationship satisfaction and positive feelings. Celebrate each other’s personal and professional successes, and you might find your intimacy levels soaring.
  10. Increase Physical Touch – Without Expectation:
    Physical touch is a vital aspect of intimacy. Small, no-pressure touches like hugs, kisses, and holding hands in everyday situations release oxytocin, strengthening your relationship and creating an instant connection.

Let’s embark on this journey of deepening intimacy together. Whether it’s for your personal life or your content creation, these tips are your secret to a connection that lasts!

 

We acknowledge that the adult industry and personal relationships can present unique challenges. Past trauma, serious mental health concerns, addiction or substance abuse, or dangerous levels of relationship conflict might require the expertise of a therapist as a first step. Apply for subsidized therapy with Pineapple Support here.

Pineapple Support To Host One-Day Wellness Event – Safety, Stability, and Self-Love

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Pineapple Support, the adult industry’s leading mental health non-profit, will host a one-day wellness event focused on safety, stability, and self-love. The event, sponsored by Sextpanther, Sexyjobs, and Stripchat will take place online on August 24th, from 11AM to 4PM PST.

 

The event will include presentations, classes, and discussions led by Pineapple Support therapists, including:

 

  • “The Art Of Self Pleasure” with Nadège Collot (11AM PST)
  • “Love & Relationships After Trauma” with Devin D’Shae (12PM PST)
  • “Petrified Of Saying No” with Steven Mollura (1PM PST)
  • “The Importance Of Playtime” with Emma Martin at (2PM PST)
  • “Dating Yourself” with Devin D’Shae (3PM PST)

 

“Inspiring healthy relationships with yourself and others comes with challenges, particularly when it comes to intimacy,” says Pineapple Support founder and CEO, Leya Tanit. “Creating a stable personal environment and dealing with life’s uncertainties in an appropriate and effective manner is essential to happiness and fulfilment.”

 

Tanit founded Pineapple Support in 2018, after a string of losses in the adult industry from depression and other mental illnesses. The organization, a qualified 501(c)(3) tax-exempt organization in the United States, has connected over 10,000 adult performers to mental health services, including free and low-cost therapy, counseling, and emotional support.

 

“During this one-day event, we focus on being content with what we have, being comfortable within our lives, and being content with our purpose,” says Tanit. “Through self-love and self-nurturing, Pineapple Support therapists and experts hope to inspire safety and security from within.”

 

The one-day “Safety, Stability & Self Love” wellness event will take place online on August 24th, from 11AM to 4PM PST. For more information about this event and to reserve a place, visit https://pineapplesupport.org/safety-stability-self-love/.

Pineapple Support To Address Domestic Abuse With New PornHub-Sponsored Support Group

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Pineapple Support will host a weekly online support group for performers who have survived domestic abuse, sponsored by Pornhub.

The group, “Survivors Of Domestic Abuse,” will take place over six weeks and will be led by Pineapple Support therapist Alicia Graham The first meeting will be held on Tuesday, March 21 at 4 p.m. EST.

“We understand that anyone who has experienced an abusive relationship needs a safe and compassionate environment to begin the process of healing,” said Graham. “Our highest priority is ensuring the group environment is safe, non-judgmental, and understanding for all participants.”

Founded in 2018 by Leya Tanit, Pineapple Support has connected over 8,000 adult performers and industry members to mental health services, including free and low-cost therapy, counseling and emotional support.

“If you feel diminished in any of your intimate or family relationships, think you might have been in an abusive situation, or have experienced violence,” said Tanit. “We are offering a support group dedicated to people who have experienced intimate partner abuse, violence, or trauma. Join us for positive, affirming, and confidential support.”

The group will meet every Tuesday at the same time, with the final session on Apr. 25.

For more information and to reserve a space, click here.

Visit Pineapple Support online and follow the organization on Twitter.

Pineapple Support To Host ‘Navigating Relationships’ Support Group

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Pineapple Support, the adult industry’s leading mental health nonprofit, will host a free, online support group with a focus on helping performers to better navigate different types of relationships. The six-week support group, “Navigating Relationships” will be led by Pineapple therapist Rachael Farina and will start on Tuesday, May 31st at 3pm EST.

“Throughout the course of this group, we’ll address various topics, such as conflict resolution, communication skills and setting and maintaining boundaries with others,” says licensed Pineapple therapist Rachael Farina. “We’d encourage attendees to try to attend all sessions, so we can maintain consistency for everyone. If there are any important relationships in your life that you would like to strengthen, this group is for you.”

“If there are any important relationships in your life that you would like to strengthen, this group is for you.”

Pineapple Support was founded by British performer Leya Tanit in 2018, after a string of losses in the adult industry from depression and other mental illnesses. The organization, which is a qualified 501(c)(3) tax-exempt organization in the United States, has so far connected over 5,000 adult performers to mental health services, including free and low-cost, therapy, counseling and emotional support.

“In this six-week, virtual support group, performers will learn how to navigate sexual and romantic relationships, as well as relationships with friends and family”, says Tanit. “Rachael is a talented and licensed therapist who specialises in sexuality, sexual health and relationships. With a non-judgmental, humorous and authentic approach to therapy, attendees will benefit tremendously from understanding how to approach the important relationships in their lives.”

“In this six-week, virtual support group, performers will learn how to navigate sexual and romantic relationships, as well as relationships with friends and family.”

The six-week “Navigating Relationships” support group begins on Tuesday, May 31st from 3pm to 4pm EST, and will take place online each Tuesday at the same time until July 5th. For more information about this support group and to reserve a place, visit pineapplesupport.org/support-groups.

Pineapple Support to Host Online Event ‘Navigating Relationships’

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Pineapple Support will host a free, two-day webinar on how to successfully navigate relationships for adult performers on August 25-26.

The event will be led by Pineapple Support therapists and counselors with sponsorship support from Adult Time, Chaturbate, ePlay, Flirt4Free, Segpay and SextPanther.

The two-day schedule of events follows:

Wednesday August 25

10 a.m (PDT): “Healing from codependency” with Ivy Kwong
11 a.m (PDT): “Relationship diversities” with Silva Neves
12 p.m. (PDT): “Communication from the heart” with Nicki Line
1 p.m. (PDT): “Ethical non-monogamy” with Melissa Lesane
2 p.m. (PDR): “Relationships in the industry — Reinvention” with Rachel Wells
Thursday August 26

10 a.m (PDT): “Defining your needs in a relationship” with Alex Mufson
11 a.m (PDT): “Hot crossed boundaries” with Emily Richman
12 p.m. (PDT): “Relationships after trauma” with Shea Graham
1 p.m. (PDT): “Loving yourself” with Wendy Haggerty
2 p.m. (PDR): “Red flags” with Alex Mufson
“We’re proud to support Pineapple as they work to provide guidance, validation and understanding to the performers in our industry,” President of Flirt4Free David Aguilar said. ”Every human being needs support, particularly those whose occupational stigma can blind the general public to the dynamic, creative and passionate people they are.”

Chaturbate COO Shirley Lara said the company is pleased to join Pineapple Support in sponsoring the event.

“The health and wellness of the Chaturbate community is a top priority and we encourage everyone to attend this event for guidance on how to create and foster a healthy relationship,” she added.

The group, founded in 2018 by Leya Tanit, has so far connected over 5,000 adult performers and industry members to mental health services, including free and low-cost therapy, counseling and emotional support.

“No matter which industry you work in or what you do, finding and maintaining relationships, particularly romantic ones, can be a challenge,” Tanit said. “Add the complications and unique stressors of working in the adult industry and the prospect can sometimes feel out of reach. These webinars will help adult workers navigate and thrive in their personal lives.”

Click here for additional event details, including how to register.

Pineapple Support is a 501(c)(3) tax-exempt organization in the United States; find sponsorship details here and follow the group on Twitter.

Pineapple Support to Host Relationship Webinar for Performers, Creators

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Pineapple Support will host “Stocking Your Relationship Tool Kit with HART,” a webinar about how to manage relationships as an adult content creator.

The event, sponsored by Team Skeet, will be led by licensed mental health counselor Nicki Line.

“The webinar will focus on the innovative Harmony-Arion Relationship Tools (HART) methodology to equip attendees with the building blocks for developing healthy and meaningful relationships,” a rep explained.

“Every healthy relationship is built on a foundation of knowing your partner, trust and vulnerability,” said Line. “HART will provide these building blocks for you to develop them in your relationship, as well as identifying toxic patterns that can develop over a course of a relationship.”

Pineapple Support founder Leya Tanit said, “Nicki is an incredible kink-aware and poly-friendly counselor with extensive training and experience in her field.”

“As relationships can be especially challenging as an adult performer, it’s essential to understand and develop tools that can be used to nurture and sustain positive and healthy relationships,” Tanit added.

The “Stocking Your Relationship Tool Kit with HART” webinar will take place via Zoom on Friday, February 5, at 9 a.m. (PST). It is scheduled to last one hour but may go longer.

For more information and to access the webinar link, visit PineappleSupport.org.

For more from Pineapple Support, follow them on Twitter.

July is Parent Performer Month

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Pineapple Support will host a free support group and webinar to help adult performers build and nurture strong, supportive relationships with their parents and other family members.

The free Parent and Performer Support Group will run Sundays for six weeks, July 12 to August 16, from 3 to 4 p.m. (PDT). For more information, click here.

A Pineapple rep described the group as “an educational and mild process group that focuses on relational ties in the family. This group will cover the various emotions around the performer discussing or revealing their career choice to their parents and the parents’ reaction to the information and how to communicate and listen in a healthy way as a family and how to accept and support each other.”

The free webinar is titled “Challenges of Family Members of Adult Entertainers” and is scheduled for July 21 at 12 noon (PDT).

The session is designed for “adult entertainers and their family members to discuss the unique challenges to their relationships, which sometimes lead to conflict, estrangement and harmful interconnection,” said the rep. “This webinar addresses many of these challenges with the goal of providing greater understanding and tools to develop healthy methods of interaction.”

Click here to register and for additional details.

Leya Tanit, founder of Pineapple Support, chose the month of July to focus on “providing support to performers to help improve their relationships with their parents or other family members.”

“We are encouraging performers to contribute by sending us videos or writing about their experience with parents and family members discovering they are in the industry, which we will share on our social media platforms,” Tanit continued.

Those who wish to participate should email contact@pineapplesupport.org for details.

Pineapple Support was founded in 2018. The organization, a registered nonprofit in the United States and a registered charity in the United Kingdom, has connected over 1,000 adult performers to mental health services, including free and low-cost therapy, counseling and emotional support.

Find the organization online and on Twitter for the latest updates.

Affirmations

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Affirmations are positive things that we tell ourselves to feel better about ourselves, or others, or situations which wipe out Negative Cognitions.

 

What’s a negative cognition?  Well, that’s all the crap that we and/or others put in our brain over the years that basically tells us that we’re bad, that something’s wrong with us or that we will never succeed.  Here are some examples:

  1. I’m stupid, I will never get a good job.
  2. If people know the real me they would see that I’m a fake and hate me.
  3. Crying makes me weak.
  4. If my parents never loved me than no one will.
  5. It’s my destiny to be used.

 

The result of #1 may be that we feel stuck in the job we’re in and don’t dare try for something better.  This limits our belief in ourselves. Insteady try this, “I can get another job,” and slowly work up to this, “I have  many job opportunities.”

 

The thinking in #2 may make us hide ourselves from others by masking our emotions, beliefs and needs.  Then we never think that we have “real” friends and wonder why we do so much for everyone, but no one does for us. To fix this tell yourself something like, “My friends like me” or, “Some people like me,” and work your way up to, “I’m likeable” or “I like myself.”

 

For #3 we may have been told that we should never cry or that it’s never ok to cry in front of someone else. If we stifle that sad part of us we can never be truly happy (see that Disney movie, “Inside Out.”).  This one will take some action to fix and you may need to allow yourself to cry in front of someone you really trust like your partner, your best friend, or your cat/dog. They may not have the reaction you would want them to have as it may make them uncomfortable and they may not know what to do, but I can pretty much guarantee they won’t go running from the room.  Or you can start more slowly and tell yourself, “It’s ok to cry,” or, “everyone cries in front of someone eventually,” work your way up to, “It’s ok to cry in front of some people,” or simply, “Crying is a healthy expression of my feelings.”

 

If we find ourselves in #4 we may be right, but we may not be right as well. In any case, you’re loveable!  Be selective in who you choose to love, open yourself to love and you will have it. Maybe not the love you dreamed of as a child, or saw in a Disney Princess movie, but a real one.  Try starting with, “Someone must have loved me,” or if you know someone who did love you, a teacher, a grandparent think of them and say, “(insert name here) loved me,” and you can put your cat or dog (or whatever’s) name here if you can’t think of a person.  Work your way up to, “I am loveable,” or “I am deserving of love.”

 

Number 5 tends to be what we tell ourselves when we are stuck in codependent relationships and don’t know how to change and maybe don’t want to change.  Start putting yourself first and say no to people. It will be very uncomfortable at first, but eventually it feels great! We can take much better care of ourselves than anyone else and then we won’t attract as may needy people to ourselves. Try saying to yourself, “I will show myself love by doing one thing I want to do or one thing to take care of myself today,” and do it.  Work your way up to, “I can meet my own needs and will only chose relationships with people who take care of themselves too.”

 

There is a caveat to all of this affirmation stuff.  You have to at least believe a small percentage of what you’re saying on some level.  I’m a big ‘ole girl and if I were to have just begun using affirmations and the one I chose was, “I’m beautiful and love every part of my body the way it is,” I would laugh and never do this again because I wouldn’t believe it.  I would have to start more slowly and pick out some thing I like about my body, for example, “I love the colors in my hair,” or maybe, “I love how these legs have supported me my whole life and taken me to where I needed to go. Eventually I would work my way up to seeing the beauty in my body. Make sense?

 

And it’s not magic mumbo jumbo.  If I’ve heard how fat I was at least 30 times a year for most of my life that screwed up thought is going to be down deep in my mind and it may take years of working on this one issue with affirmations to learn to accept my body the way it is and be grateful for what it’s done for me.  

 

One must repeat these affirmations multiple times a day every freaking day!  It seems like a lot to ask, but you’ll get used to it. I was taught that I should look at myself in a mirror while I said these affirmations and eventually I was able, but at first it was all I could do to mumble them looking down at my feet.  If that’s where you need to start, that’s ok. Just don’t give up!

 

I once worked with a man who thought this was a load of crap.  Literally. He said, “This is a load of crap and there’s no way I’m doing it.”  He was very depressed and unhappy. I told him, “Try this as an experiment for 30 days. Put sticky notes with the affirmations all over your house, your car, your office where you will see them multiple times a day (or put some sort of sticker up that may not say the affirmation, but will remind you to do it multiple times a day).  If you follow this daily and you do not begin to feel better you can come back to me and I will admit that I was wrong and it didn’t work for you.” He really liked the idea of telling me where to stick my affirmations which he believed would never work. Sadly (for no one!), he never got to do this as in three weeks he started feeling a little less depressed and anxious and hopeless.  His wife reported that she was enjoying spending time with him as he was more of his old self and not so grumpy. And it lasted! From time to time over the years he would drop me a line with his progress.

 

So, I challenge you.  Pick out 1-2 negative things that you say about yourself and change them into positive statements.  Find some sticky notes or some stickers and put that positive statement, that you at least somewhat believe on some level, and tell it to yourself multiple times a day for at least 30 days. The worst thing that could happen is that you waste a few minutes every day.  And the best thing that could happen? You could feel better. Go feel better now!

 

Wishing you love, happiness, serenity, and joy!

Mechele Evans, LCSW