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How to Have the Best Relationship with Yourself

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It’s never too late to build a solid relationship with the most important person in your life – YOU. Whether you’re a content creator or just someone seeking self-discovery, understanding and nurturing your connection with yourself is the ultimate game-changer.

 

Unlocking the Power of Self-Connection:

Amongst all the competing demands of life, our relationship with ourselves sets the stage for everything else. It’s not about being the “best friend” to yourself, but rather becoming a reliable companion and ally. Think of it as building the foundations of a strong, supportive friendship within.

Practical Steps to Strengthen Your Self-Relationship:

Crafting the best relationship with yourself is a journey filled with self-discovery, kindness, and growth. Here are some practical steps you can take to a fulfilling connection with yourself.

Set Intentions and Stay Aware:
Begin by setting a thoughtful intention to cultivate a positive relationship with yourself. Recognize that this is an ongoing journey, and your goals will evolve over time. Keep your eyes on the long-term, knowing that the path may meander but always leads to growth. Stay aware of your thoughts, feelings, and needs, adapting your approach as you grow.

Plan for Now, Soon, and Later:
Break down your self-relationship goals into manageable steps. Establish short-term habits that bring immediate joy, plan for middle-term milestones, and envision the person you want to become in the long term.  Balancing immediate gratification with long-term satisfaction is key. It’s not about perfection; it’s about progress. A well-thought-out plan is your roadmap to success.

Embrace Change with Curiosity and Acceptance:
Change is inevitable, and that’s a good thing. Approach your self-relationship with curiosity. Embrace changes with open arms, understanding that growth is a beautiful, ever-evolving process. Accept yourself in each phase of this journey, appreciating the uniqueness that defines you.

Prioritize Basic Self-Care:
Your body and mind are the canvas of your self-relationship. Start with the basics – quality sleep, nutritious food, regular activity, and mental well-being. Nurturing your body and mind will lay the foundation for a resilient and sustainable self-relationship. Caring for your physical needs builds trust and affection toward yourself and your ability to prioritize your well-being.

Be Kind to You:
Work toward appraising yourself with kindness, avoiding destructive criticism. Act as your own cheerleader and appreciate your efforts and progress. Self-reflection doesn’t mean self-blame. Be honest and take responsibility, but do it with a gentle touch. You’re a work in progress, not a finished masterpiece. Self-kindness is the fuel that propels you forward, fostering a sense of pride and self-worth.

Surround Yourself with Supportive Souls:
Connect with people who align with your self-relationship goals. Positive relationships serve as models and support systems. Cultivate connections that uplift and inspire, forging connections with those who share similar self-growth goals. A supportive community provides understanding, encouragement, and a sense of belonging.

Blend Realistic Optimism with Action:
Perfectionism is the nemesis of sustainable change. Embrace a mindset of realistic optimism by setting achievable goals and building on them. Be patient and celebrate small victories – they pave the way for lasting transformation. Optimism becomes a powerful ally in sustaining positive change.

Create a Personal Crisis Plan:
Life brings challenges, of that we can be certain. Having a crisis plan is your anchor during stormy times. Anticipate challenges by having trusted individuals ready to provide perspective. Write down your thoughts, and remind yourself of your long-term goals during difficult moments.

Infuse Meaning into Activities:
Seek meaning in work, hobbies, relationships, and personal connections. Meaningful activities provide satisfaction and a sense of accomplishment. Your passions contribute to a fulfilling existence – explore them with genuine curiosity and entertainment, enhancing the quality of your relationship with yourself.

Establish Positive Daily Habits:
Start each day with positive intentions. Remind yourself of your long-term goals, review key practices, and navigate your day with purpose. Although spontaneity is crucial, keeping your goals in mind ensures actions that support your self-relationship journey.

Speak Love to Yourself:
Be mindful of your inner dialogue. Notice when you’re being overly critical, slow down, and replace it with gentle, kind and supportive words. Conversations with yourself can be empowering – choose words that uplift and nurture. Transformative self-talk is a powerful tool for cultivating self-compassion.

Escape the “Selfish Trap”:
Challenge the notion that self-care is selfish. There is a difference between healthy self-focus and self-centeredness. Reject the idea that taking care of your needs is indulgent, and recognize that prioritizing your needs is a necessity for a thriving self-relationship. Overcome guilt associated with self-care. It’s not selfish – it’s necessary!

 

A Transformative Journey

Cultivating the best relationship with yourself is a transformative journey. Be patient, stay kind, and revel in the joy of self-discovery. As you nurture this connection, may you find profound happiness, resilience, and an unwavering love for the incredible person you are becoming. Embrace the adventure, celebrate progress, and enjoy the evolving connection with the extraordinary person you are!

If you need support, you can apply for subsidized therapy with Pineapple Support here.

 

Photo by De’Andre Bush on Unsplash

Understanding You

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Sometimes we all have to stop for a moment and remember that the world is full of other people. We do not exist alone. The pandemic has forced some people into a world of isolation and loneliness which the world hasn’t seen for a very long time.

The more time we spend on our own the easier it is to forget that others are also potentially going through similar struggles both emotionally and physically. A simple “Hello”, or a brief “You ok?” message can mean the world to those in need of company.

Isolation cane very damaging as beneath it all humans are social creatures who require the presence of others, on an almost daily basis. Whilst we all like that time alone where we can treat ourselves to a candlelit bath, or movie with a glass of wine and a blanket, we do need to be with others.

Negative Effects Of Lockdown

Lockdown had so many effects on individuals and families. Some rediscovered the delights of what family and friends really mean. The internet was our saviour as video calls and messaging became ever present on a daily basis. However, others found the enforced closeness with family very hard to deal with.

Working from home became the norm. cats, dogs and children popping on work Zoom calls created internet sensations for some. Whereas those not used to this closeness found it very difficult to cope.

None more so, than those working int he adult sector. The income which their job provided and the interaction with other people was suddenly removed. This left a huge void financially and emotionally. The times spent alone seem to become more devoid of emotions as each day pass.

Sharing is Caring

A number of companies took this opportunity to create  forums and online groups for their workers to communicate with each other. Zoom meetings often started with a brief summary of your weekend activities, or nightly Netflix binge (without spoilers of course). This allows people to interact in a more personal way , giving them the chance to feel more connected to each other.

Time can be a great healer but it also gives us scope to really get to understand who we really are. Although difficult for some, being alone does give us the opportunity to discover and understand ourselves on a deeper level. Once we allow ourselves to accept the bad as well as the good, it’s much easier to work on the negative aspects.

Being Honest

Let’s be honest, if someone calls you lazy, or careless, our immediate reaction is one of defensiveness and feeling hurt. However, oftentimes in reality we know what they have said was true. Perhaps this is where the saying “you always hurt the one you love” comes from. It’s certainly relevant and in some ways designed to help is better ourselves.

Self improvement can only come if we are able to determine those things which do require some work or adjustments. A common way of dealing with this is to remember that there ae ma y people much worse off than we may be. Placing the focus on what the actual problem is can allow us to ascertain exactly how the issue fits into the grand scheme of things.

Kindness Patience and Tolerance

We do all need to take time for ourselves, indulge in our own inner beauty. If you are reading this I hope you are already thinking of the best parts of your soul and how you can improve other parts. Helping others and listening to what they are trying to say is key to seeing the beauty within. Being kind, patient and tolerant ae crucial assets which allows you to embrace life and everything that comes your way, good or bad.

It’s good to remember that;

Kindness is important

Patience is a virtue

Tolerance is essential

with love from,

Carla Sez

Pineapple Support Combats CyberBullying with #BullyBusters Campaign

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Anti Bullying week 2018 is November 12-16th and Pineapple Support is launching an online campaign to help tackle cyber bullying, combating negativity with positivity.

“Being bullied is oftentimes thought of as simply having to put up with unpleasant behavior. A more realistic perspective is thinking of bullying as a traumatic, torturous, and systematic destruction of a person’s self-worth and self-belief. The damage inflicted can be devastating.”

Social media plays a huge part in the life of every person working in the adult industry; twitter in particular is one of the most popular sites as it is the only mainstream platform without censorship. When a performer opens a Twitter account it allows their fans and any one of Twitter’s millions of users, to interact with them, they become instantly accessible.
Small thoughts are published often without due consideration and once out for the world to see, it is too late to retract a statement possibly said in anger or with a few too many wines in the system. Public reactions to single posts have resulted in textual attacks from strangers, fans and peers. These attacks can get personal and incessant.

In this TED talk Monika Lewinsky speaks of her experience with cyberbullying and how compassion helped to combat shame – The video is 20 minutes but a wonderful watch.

The recent examples of cyber bullying have been in short, disturbing, with young men and women taking their own lives due to the way in which both the public and other industry performers have treated them. We should never underestimate the power of words and the effect they can have, particularly if a person is already feeling vulnerable.

This effect works both ways and Pineapple Support is starting a revolution of kindness and compassion. The #BullyBusters campaign combats the negative remarks of cyberbullies by encouraging others to leave positive comments, to reach out to individuals and show support. This should be done without engaging in any conversation with the bully or with any reference to the bully’s comments.
If you see someone being bullied, simply write something nice about that person and #bullybusters to encourage others to do the same.

 

 

While researching for Bullying Awareness Week we came across some useful blogs about what to do if you or someone else is being bullied on social media, the links are below.

On Cyberbullying and Choosing Kindness

How to Deal with Cyberbullying on Social Media

https://help.twitter.com/en/safety-and-security/cyber-bullying-and-online-abuse

https://blog.hubspot.com/marketing/twitter-harassment-cyberbullying