Posts

Understanding You

Sometimes we all have to stop for a moment and remember that the world is full of other people. We do not exist alone. The pandemic has forced some people into a world of isolation and loneliness which the world hasn’t seen for a very long time.

The more time we spend on our own the easier it is to forget that others are also potentially going through similar struggles both emotionally and physically. A simple “Hello”, or a brief “You ok?” message can mean the world to those in need of company.

Isolation cane very damaging as beneath it all humans are social creatures who require the presence of others, on an almost daily basis. Whilst we all like that time alone where we can treat ourselves to a candlelit bath, or movie with a glass of wine and a blanket, we do need to be with others.

Negative Effects Of Lockdown

Lockdown had so many effects on individuals and families. Some rediscovered the delights of what family and friends really mean. The internet was our saviour as video calls and messaging became ever present on a daily basis. However, others found the enforced closeness with family very hard to deal with.

Working from home became the norm. cats, dogs and children popping on work Zoom calls created internet sensations for some. Whereas those not used to this closeness found it very difficult to cope.

None more so, than those working int he adult sector. The income which their job provided and the interaction with other people was suddenly removed. This left a huge void financially and emotionally. The times spent alone seem to become more devoid of emotions as each day pass.

Sharing is Caring

A number of companies took this opportunity to create  forums and online groups for their workers to communicate with each other. Zoom meetings often started with a brief summary of your weekend activities, or nightly Netflix binge (without spoilers of course). This allows people to interact in a more personal way , giving them the chance to feel more connected to each other.

Time can be a great healer but it also gives us scope to really get to understand who we really are. Although difficult for some, being alone does give us the opportunity to discover and understand ourselves on a deeper level. Once we allow ourselves to accept the bad as well as the good, it’s much easier to work on the negative aspects.

Being Honest

Let’s be honest, if someone calls you lazy, or careless, our immediate reaction is one of defensiveness and feeling hurt. However, oftentimes in reality we know what they have said was true. Perhaps this is where the saying “you always hurt the one you love” comes from. It’s certainly relevant and in some ways designed to help is better ourselves.

Self improvement can only come if we are able to determine those things which do require some work or adjustments. A common way of dealing with this is to remember that there ae ma y people much worse off than we may be. Placing the focus on what the actual problem is can allow us to ascertain exactly how the issue fits into the grand scheme of things.

Kindness Patience and Tolerance

We do all need to take time for ourselves, indulge in our own inner beauty. If you are reading this I hope you are already thinking of the best parts of your soul and how you can improve other parts. Helping others and listening to what they are trying to say is key to seeing the beauty within. Being kind, patient and tolerant ae crucial assets which allows you to embrace life and everything that comes your way, good or bad.

It’s good to remember that;

Kindness is important

Patience is a virtue

Tolerance is essential

with love from,

Carla Sez

Tolerance and Acceptance

Bob’s son Fred came out to him the other day. Bob did not hug Fred. He did not say anything. He made a distasteful face, turned his back on Fred and walked away. The family still eats meals together at the table, but Bob ignores his son for the most part.

Bob is at the low end of the tolerance scale when it comes to his son. He doesn’t go out of his way to be mean, but they don’t talk anymore unless it’s absolutely necessary. They no longer go out together to fish or to watch baseball.

Fred is crushed. He knows it could be worse though, his friend, Roy,  was outed to his dad and came to school the next day with a black eye saying he needed to find someplace else to live as his dad kicked him out.

Roy’s dad is not tolerant and is a long way from accepting.

Fred’s mom, Flaca, feels angry with her husband for giving their son the cold shoulder. Flaca loves her son unconditionally.  At one time she had dreams of Fred marrying a woman and having a bunch of kids. Flaca realizes that it is Fred’s life to live on his own terms.

“Love is love,” she says to Fred and his boyfriend Rog as she ruffles their hair, “And now I have two sons.”

Flaca accepts her son. She is happy for him because he is happy. She prays that one day her son will get the chance to love whomever he loves without the fears of small minded people.

A few weeks ago a woman called me and we talked about whether or not I could help her, but she sounded tense. At the end of the conversation she said to me, “I’m a lesbian, it that ok? Would I be able to talk about that part of my life with you?”

It kills me that we still live in a world where people have to ask these questions; have to hide chunks of their lives for fear that they will not be accepted or even worse. We should all be free to love who we love.