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Embracing Shadow Work: A Journey Through Neurodivergence and Self-Discovery

Shadow work—this concept of exploring the parts of ourselves we often avoid or suppress—has been one of the most transformative tools in my personal growth journey. If you’re unfamiliar with it, shadow work is about facing the “shadow”—the parts of ourselves we tend to reject, ignore, or push down because they feel uncomfortable or don’t fit into our ideal narrative. For many neurodivergent individuals, like myself, this work can be especially profound, uncovering not just personal struggles, but also the unique gifts that come with living with autism and ADHD.

Understanding the Shadow
At its core, shadow work involves examining those suppressed aspects of our psyche—our fears, vulnerabilities, behaviors, and emotions—that we usually don’t want to face. In my experience, these “shadows” are deeply tied to how I perceive and navigate the world as someone with ADHD and autism. Often, the world has a set expectation for how we should behave, think, and respond, and when we fall outside of those norms, it can feel like we’re not measuring up.

For those of us with ADHD or autism, these “shadow” qualities might include traits like impulsivity, hyperfocus, sensory overload, or social struggles. They are not flaws but ways of experiencing the world differently, and much of the shadow work I’ve done has been focused on learning to see these qualities in a new light.

The Power of Self-Reflection
Before I started doing shadow work, I viewed many of my neurodivergent traits as imperfections. My inability to stay focused on one task for long, my intense emotional reactions, or the way social situations drained me felt like things I needed to “fix.” I spent years trying to make myself fit into a mold that just wasn’t designed for me.

Through shadow work, I’ve come to realize that those qualities aren’t mistakes to correct—they are part of who I am, and they can be powerful assets if I learn to embrace them. Shadow work doesn’t just help us confront the parts of ourselves that we wish weren’t there; it encourages us to accept them, to understand where they come from, and to find ways to work with them rather than against them.

My Personal Journey
I’m still on this journey, but I’ve learned that my neurodivergence isn’t something I need to be ashamed of. It’s a unique way of experiencing and interacting with the world, and shadow work has helped me appreciate that. For example, when I’m hyperfocused on a task, I’ve learned to see it as a strength instead of something to feel guilty about. Rather than forcing myself to “snap out of it” when I get absorbed in something, I’ve learned to allow it and use it to my advantage.

On the flip side, when I feel overwhelmed by sensory input or emotional overload, shadow work encourages me to acknowledge these feelings without judgment. I no longer push them down, and instead, I take time to ground myself and process what’s happening in my mind and body. These moments of self-compassion are key to integrating my neurodivergent traits into my life in a healthy way.

How Shadow Work Can Help
Shadow work isn’t a quick fix, but with patience and practice, it can help you reframe how you see yourself and your challenges. Here are a few suggestions if you’re interested in exploring shadow work for yourself, especially if you’re navigating ADHD or autism:

  1. Acknowledge and Accept Your Traits: Start by recognizing the traits you may have been taught to suppress or view negatively. For example, if you have ADHD, embrace your creativity and ability to think outside the box instead of focusing on “lacking focus.” If you’re autistic, celebrate your attention to detail and deep focus on subjects that matter to you.
  2. Journaling and Reflection: Writing down your thoughts and feelings can be an effective way to understand your shadows. When you notice feelings of shame, frustration, or inadequacy, write them down and explore why they came up. What triggered those emotions? What part of your neurodivergence is tied to them?
  3. Be Compassionate with Yourself: Shadow work requires a lot of self-compassion. There will be moments where it feels uncomfortable or where you wish you could change aspects of yourself. But instead of pushing those feelings aside, sit with them and try to understand them. Be patient with yourself as you navigate the process.
  4. Seek Support: If you find shadow work difficult, especially when it comes to deep-rooted feelings of shame or misunderstanding, consider seeking professional support. A therapist or counselor who understands ADHD, autism, and shadow work can help you navigate the emotional landscape of these complex feelings.
  5. Celebrate Progress, Not Perfection: Remember, shadow work is a lifelong process. Some days, it will feel overwhelming. Other days, you’ll make huge strides. Celebrate the progress, no matter how small, and acknowledge the courage it takes to face your shadows.

Final Thoughts
Shadow work has taught me that I don’t have to change who I am to be worthy of love, acceptance, and understanding. The parts of me that once felt like burdens are now opportunities for growth. Autism and ADHD are not flaws—they are ways of navigating the world that are just as valuable as any other. Shadow work has helped me embrace my neurodivergence and integrate it into my life, not as something to fix, but as something to understand and appreciate.

If you’re on a similar journey, I encourage you to explore your own shadows with kindness, patience, and an open heart. The process of self-discovery can be transformative, and with time, you’ll see the beauty in the very traits you once thought were “too much” or “too little.” You are enough, just as you are.

With love,

Leya

Pineapple Support Launches ADHD Support Group – Sponsored By Clips4Sale

Pineapple Support will host a weekly online support group for performers with attention deficit disorder, sponsored by Clips4Sale.

The group, “How ADHD Can Be Your Super Power,” will meet over six weeks and will be led by Pineapple Support therapist Moushumi Ghose. The first session will be held on Tuesday, April 18 at 4 p.m. EDT.

“Learning the basics about ADHD, its symptoms, related diagnoses and treatment options can be a game-changer both for those with ADHD, as well as those that want to support others with the disorder better,” said Pineapple therapist Michele Green.

Founded in 2018 by Leya Tanit, Pineapple Support has connected over 10,000 adult performers and industry members with mental health services, including free and low-cost therapy, counseling and emotional support.

“A better understanding of ADHD, and the way its traits are perceived, can be hugely beneficial,” said Tanit. “When we change the way we think about ADHD, we can support ourselves and others in a way that’s free from shame and judgment. Knowing how to advocate for yourself and ask for the support you need can pave the path towards living a more meaningful life with ADHD.”

The group will meet every Tuesday at the same time, with the final session on May 23.

For more information and to reserve a space, click here.

Visit Pineapple Support online and follow the organization on Twitter.