After recieving a positive HIV test result it is natural to feel a turmoil of emotions. Pineapple Support HIV Support has been created to help you process these emotions with the help of a specialist therapist or counselor.

Pineapple Support is providing online adult industry professionals who require this support with 6 completely free, one-on-one therapy sessions with specialist therapists. After this time there is the option to continue on a pay what you can basis.

We have made the therapy request process as simple as possible.

Individuals living with HIV all take different approaches to dealing with life’s challenges when it comes to family, friends, and work. A person processing their HIV diagnosis may go through the 5 steps of grief. The five stages, denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Starting a dialogue and striving towards self-acceptance is best done with the support of others with HIV who understand what you are going through. Understand everything you are feeling is “normal” and alright to feel.

#1 Denial
The shock of getting the diagnosis is a surreal experience. Suddenly all the times you have sympathized with someone looked at someone struggling with an affliction and thought that poor person is happening to you. You think it cannot be real, surely this is not happening, you go numb, shut down some people even push it to the back of their mind. The shock and denial help the body cope with the news, they help you to carry on and filter in as much as you can take. You feel somehow isolated as it is not happening to another person it is happening you!

#2 Anger
You will feel many a turmoil of emotions when you hit the anger stage. You will look for someone or something to put the blame on. You need an outlet to direct all the hurt, pain and anger on. There has to be a reason this is happening to you, so you will lash out a person, society and anything that relates to what is happening to you. Sometimes a person gets angry about silly little things that do not relate to what is happening to them at all. As long as you are open to others embrace your anger and ride that wave of the grief stage.

#3 Bargaining
The third stage of grief is often associated with guilt, what ifs and I would do anything to change things. This stage is the one where we wish we could back in time do things differently, we start questioning things around us and plead with anyone we can to get another outcome to our current situation.

#4 Depression
Suddenly we realize there is nothing we can do to change that outcome. This is happening to us and that last little vestige of hope we had started to flicker out. We realize this was not a dream and there is not getting out of what is happening to us. We are hit with a huge tidal wave of grief and all the pain, fear and anger turns into depression.

#5 Acceptance
You want to say you are ok, all right or fine but the fact is you are not and probably never will be again. This stage of the grief is when you start to realize you have two options to give up or fight as best as you can and do what you can to conquer this disease. There is always hope, that light at the end of the tunnel no matter how long the tunnel may be. With today’s technology and scientific breakthroughs, we are well on the road to finding that elusive cure.

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One last thing about the stages of acceptance Kathrine Kuber-Ross did not intend for the stages to be linear. You will arrive at different stages at various times and find yourself experiencing them again, that is normal too. Grief is a wibbly wobbly tangled ball that works itself out as we grown in the experience of life.

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Cultivating Hope
Some instances of acceptance were small, in the form of disclosure to only one person, or seeking medical treatment for their HIV infection. No matter the magnitude of the first glimpse of acceptance, it activated a series of positive changes in outlook or behaviors in the person’s life. The first experience of acceptance marked a glimmer of hope in what can first seem like the end of the world. Individuals find these small glimmers of hope and acceptance in various ways such as researching the disease and various treatments, finding a community of like minded people, routine to feel “normal”, and others find it in spiritual or religious practices.
Strategic disclosure was cited by many as the key to managing the day-to-day stress of HIV. Disclosure to the wrong person could lead to rejection, especially because of the HIV-related stigma. For most, the secrecy can take a toll on the mind as well as the body. An odd recovery saying, “you are only as sick as your secrets.”

Self-Acceptance
Finally, after accumulating positive experiences in accepting environments, reducing harmful behavior, and interacting with others living with HIV, individuals can reach a place of self-acceptance. Places of self-acceptance are not always marked by a radical shift in self-concept; rather, some individuals describe an improved ability to cope with the reality of the implications of dealing with HIV for the rest of their lives. For some, caring for their health marked self-acceptance. For others, an explicit proclamation of self-love is shared with others.

It is one of the hardest things to go through, but humans are resilient and tend to be able to dig deep into their reserves of sheer willpower. This alone goes a long way in the fight against the disease. There are many support groups, like Pineapple Support, to help you every step of the way and no matter what you think we all need help at some stage in our lives.

Reference
Albright, J., & Fair, C. D. (2018). “Now I Know I Love Me”: The Trajectory to Self-Acceptance Among HIV Positive Adults in a Southeastern U.S. Community Center. SAGE Open. https://doi.org/10.1177/2158244018804963