Substances and Harm Reduction

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Written by Tom Howells

 

We’re all adults in the adult space, so pretending that drugs aren’t used by some of us doesn’t help anyone. What is helpful is real advice about changing behaviours in order to minimise the inherent risks. In light of tragic events within our industry we wanted to share some insight into safer drug use and what steps you can take to reduce risk to yourself and others if you do choose to use drugs/alcohol.

The most important step is to make sure you know what you are taking is what you’ve been told it is. That doesn’t mean asking the person you sourced it from, it means at least using test kits/fentanyl testing strips, or ideally full clinical testing (if available in your area). Fentanyl is becoming more and more commonly used to increase the apparent ‘potency’ of different drugs, and this synthetic opioid is 50 times more potent than heroin, so even trace amounts cut into your drugs can mean the risk is dramatically increased.

With cases of drink spiking on the rise it is also important to make sure your drink doesn’t get anything unwanted added to it. It’s incredibly important to watch your drink at all times, cover the top if you aren’t certain you can keep it safe, also some people feel safer drinking shots as there is less time for the drink to be tampered with before it is gone (although in this case it’s easier to drink more/more quickly than you wanted).  A large proportion of drink spiking is done by friends of the victim, and it can be meant as ‘fun’ or ‘a joke’ but the reality is the only person who knows what drugs somebody wants is that person themselves. Giving somebody something without their knowledge (even an extra shot of alcohol) can be the difference between fun or tragedy.

Equally important is keeping track of how much of your (hopefully tested) drugs or alcohol you are consuming. This is obviously hard to do on a night out but there are different ways to make that easier. Separating a large quantity into smaller doses in order to know your consumption, and how quickly you have consumed those drugs is a simple way of making sure you don’t end up going too far too quickly and causing yourself harm. That and only bringing the quantity you intend to consume will reduce the risk of unintentionally high doses. You can’t take what isn’t there!

Using alcohol/drugs when you’re emotionally distressed is a huge factor in how much risk you may place yourself in, it may be the reason you ignore the steps outlined above and take bigger risks and potentially bigger doses. This increases the risk of physical harm, but also the risk of harm to mental health. This coupled with the stigma surrounding drugs, the industry, and mental health is where Pineapple can help. Those facing tough times may feel their only solution is to hide their problems using substances, but relying on drugs or alcohol as a coping mechanism can quickly spiral into addiction and further exacerbate mental health issues. Our team of therapists is there to make sure those facing these situations have a safe space to explore the issues that may lead them to abusing drugs and alcohol, and offer them help dealing with addiction. It can be incredibly hard for an individual to accept they need support and to reach out and ask, but our therapists ensure a completely safe space without stigma, and specific experience in the adult space giving them unparalleled insight into the issues we face.

Links:

Drugsdata.org – USA, accepts international postage. DEA licensed drug testing laboratory. Postal fixed location.

Energycontrol-international.org – Spain, European wide, accepts international postage. Fixed location.

Wedinos.org – UK based fixed location testing laboratory.

Wearetheloop.org – UK based pop-up testing clinics.

 

You are loved, we are listening – you are not alone. Apply for subsidized therapy with Pineapple Support here.

 

Photo by Shahadat Rahman on Unsplash

5 Ways to Support a Friend Going through Divorce

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Zelena van der Leeden, MC, CDC® and Jake W. Purdy, PMP, CDC® are the Co-founders of Divorce Management, the first multi-lingual divorce coaching firm in North America. Divorce Management operates on a “pay what you can” model offering certified Divorce Coaching and Divorce Transition and Recovery Coaching. Further details can be found on their website.

 

Where I come from, they say that you can count your true friends with your fingers. People have different concepts of the word friendship, but one thing we can all agree on is that a real friend has earned your trust and that you have earned theirs.

Having someone’s support when we are going through difficult times can make the journey less painful and less lonely. Friends usually have the power to make us feel better, but sometimes they feel lost and unable to help.

When someone is going through a divorce, people start sharing their Kramer Vs Kramer stories. They tell you what they or others did to keep the house, or the kids and they try to connect you with the best shark in town! Divorce can be a traumatic experience, so when you meet someone who has gone through a difficult separation, you tend to bond and want to help.

If marital breakdown is affecting someone you love, here are some ways in which you can support them:

  1. Ask how you can help

    This might seem obvious, but if you have a friend who is clearly struggling, you might offer opti/ons and solutions that are unwanted. Some people like company and distraction: they want to relax and think about something other than divorce. Others need space: alone time, or less crowded events. They might want to vent and just have you sit there and nod and say: your ex is evil! Or, they might want to avoid the topic all together. They might need money, food or just someone to help with the kids and chores while they deal with the legal mess while trying to keep some sanity. Before you offer help, ask them what they need and then see what you can do to support them.

  2. Respect boundaries

    Even if you mean well, breaking boundaries can slow down your friend’s healing process. Unless you are worried about their wellbeing, if someone wants to be alone you must respect that. If someone says that they don’t want to talk about the divorce, then you shouldn’t ask about it. Let the person lead, but be inquisitive and attentive. Let them know you are around without being too intrusive. Let them share what they feel comfortable with and show interest without falling under the gossip trap. If there are children involved, remember that the high-conflict separations can end up in custody battles, so make sure not share any details about their case with anyone.
    Sometimes a hug can go a long way.

  3. Expect bad days

    We’ve all experienced the blues. Being sad is not a bad thing, but being sad all the time is a sign of depression. If your friend is having ups and downs, that is completely understandable. You’ll know how to help because you have asked and you’ll make sure to respect their boundaries. If you are worried that they might be struggling with mental health issues, you might want to suggest that they talk to their doctor or to a therapist. Some cope with drugs and alcohol and if you think it is getting out of hand, consider saying something. Know that you are not a psychologist and that it is not your job to fix your friend; but a good friend will try to help by offering resources and connecting them with experts.

  1. Offer a different perspective

    Sometimes we try to be supportive by agreeing with our friends. While every single emotion is valid, sometimes people get stuck on an issue that prevents them from moving forward. This is normal because divorce can be stressful and scary and when people are scared they go into fight or flight mode. You can validate every single feeling they have while offering a different point of view. You might help them see alternatives or at least to consider options. Asking questions usually works: What scares you about that idea? Why do you think that? What would happen if…? If you have been through a divorce or know people who have, it’s easy to generalize and compare cases. Understand that every family dynamic is different and that everyone needs to find their own way. If you are encouraging behaviors that will worsen the situation, you are not helping your friend. Try to stay objective.

  2. Cheer for them

    Adapting to life after divorce is a process that takes approximately 3 years for most families with children. Your friend will go through a lot of battles: emotional, legal, social, financial… they will win some and lose some. They will have to negotiate and figure out their priorities and start a new chapter of their lives. They will feel lost and hopeless at times, so it is important that you help them celebrate the small victories: reaching an agreement, moving into a new home, getting a new job, putting themselves out there. If you notice a positive change in your friend’s attitude, make sure you point it out!

 

If you are worried about a friend and don’t feel comfortable having these types of conversations, you can refer them to a divorce coach. Shame and guilt stops people from opening up to friends. Don’t take it personally, just remind them that you are on their side and that you will be supportive while staying true to yourself.

 

 

Written by: Zelena van der Leeden, co-founder of Divorce Management

© Divorce Management 2024

 

You can apply for subsidized therapy with Pineapple Support here.

Photo by Helena Lopes on Unsplash

Preventing Burnout In The Adult Industry

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Life can get pretty overwhelming, especially for content creators juggling numerous demands. If you’re feeling emotionally and physically drained, it might be more than just the usual stress. You could be on the brink of burnout.

Burnout isn’t exclusive to the workplace; personal responsibilities can contribute too. Whether you’re facing burnout from content creation or other aspects of life, chronic stress can affect your productivity, work-life balance, and overall well-being.

Since burnout is prevalent, especially in the creative field, it’s crucial to know how to prevent it. Check out these 25 friendly suggestions to recharge and avoid becoming overwhelmed. Let’s explore how to keep the creative flame burning without burning out:

Spot the Early Signs of Burnout:
Recognize the signs early to manage stress effectively.
Signs include physical exhaustion, mood swings, increased anxiety, and a lack of enthusiasm for activities.

Embrace Regular Exercise:
Hit the gym, go for a jog, or take a dance class to boost physical and mental well-being.
Studies show that activities like yoga can significantly reduce stress and burnout.

Master Your Workload:
Prioritize tasks and don’t hesitate to delegate when needed.

Take Mental Breaks:
Working nonstop can lead to fatigue. Short breaks throughout the day enhance productivity.

Prioritize Self-Care:
Make yourself a priority—eat well, get enough sleep, and indulge in activities you enjoy.

Establish Clear Boundaries:
Set boundaries to balance work and personal life, reducing constant stress.

Find Privacy:
Allocate time alone daily for focused tasks without distractions.

Keep Learning:
Refresh your skills regularly to feel confident and capable in your creative endeavors.

Cultivate Hobbies:
Engage in hobbies to unwind and improve your overall quality of life.

Banish Negative Self-Talk:
Reframe negative thoughts to boost confidence and resilience.

Practice Mindfulness:
Focus on the present moment to stay calm amid high stress.

Explore Meditation:
Dedicate a few minutes daily to meditation for stress relief.

Enhance Sleep Hygiene:
Develop healthy sleep habits for deeper and more restful sleep.

Start Journaling:
Express creativity and emotions through journaling to prevent burnout.

Recite Positive Affirmations:
Boost confidence and reduce stress with daily affirmations.

Embrace Laughter:
Laughing and smiling can instantly reduce stress and improve your mood.

Relax with Breathing Exercises:
Calm down quickly with simple breathing exercises.

Schedule Relaxation Time:
Set reminders to take breaks and prioritize relaxation.

Connect with Others:
Social support is vital. Make time for family and friends even when busy.

Reframe Negative Situations:
Change your perspective on challenges for better stress management.

Start Meal Planning:
Plan meals ahead to ensure a healthy and convenient diet.

Get Outside:
Step outside for a breath of fresh air, sunlight, and a change of scenery.

Ask for Help:
Don’t hesitate to seek support when your schedule feels overwhelming.

Consider Therapy:
If burnout symptoms persist, therapy can provide tools for a positive mindset.

Remember, taking care of your well-being is essential for sustained creativity. Consider professional help, Pineapple Support provides free and subsidised mental health care and emotional support to adult industry professionals. Please reach out.

Building a Support System in the Adult Industry

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Emma is an International Life Coach, friend and ally to those working within the adult industries. You can contact her here – www.imperfectly-you.com

 

In the world of adult entertainment, performers often face unique challenges and complexities that can make it difficult to find a strong support system. Maintaining a healthy work-life balance, dealing with stigma, and managing relationships can be particularly challenging. That’s why it’s crucial to explore the importance of having a network of supportive friends and allies who understand the challenges of this industry.

The Isolation Dilemma

The adult industry can be a solitary place. Many performers lead double lives, keeping their profession hidden from their friends and family due to the persistent stigma associated with the work. This isolation can lead to feelings of loneliness, anxiety, and even depression. The need for a supportive network becomes all the more critical.

Understanding and Empathy

Having friends and allies who understand the unique challenges of the adult industry can provide a sense of relief and belonging. These individuals offer empathy, as they’ve likely faced similar issues. They understand the stigma, the struggles with work-life balance, and the difficulties of maintaining personal relationships. They can provide invaluable advice, share experiences, and be a source of genuine empathy and understanding.

Finding Supportive Friends

Building a support system starts with finding the right people who can be there for you. Here’s how to go about it:

  1. Online Communities: Seek out online forums, social media groups, or private communities where individuals in the adult industry connect. At Imperfectly You we have a private and friendly community where sex workers can share experiences, gain advice and form valuable connections.
  2. Attend Industry Events: Many adult entertainment events, conferences, and trade shows offer opportunities to meet and connect with peers. These events can help you establish a sense of community and build lasting relationships with those who understand your world. We recently attended XBIZ Amsterdam and met so many wonderful people!
  3. Reach Out to Trusted Peers: Over time, you may come to know peers in the industry whom you trust. Opening up to them about your challenges can lead to deep, supportive friendships. Sharing your experiences can be liberating and strengthen your connection with others.
  4. Seek Professional Help: Sometimes, the support of friends may not be enough. Consider reaching out to therapists or counselors through Pineapple Support who specialize in working with people in the adult industry. They can offer a non-judgmental space for you to discuss your feelings and challenges.

 

Benefits of a Supportive Network

Reduced Stigma: When you have friends and allies who understand your work, it can help reduce the stigma you may face from others. Knowing that you have people who accept you for who you are can boost your self-esteem and self-worth.

 

Mental Health: A supportive network can be a lifeline for your mental health. It offers a safe space to express your feelings, seek advice, and gain emotional support during tough times. Within our network mental health is at the forefront of our ethos – how can we be great performers if we don’t feel great ourselves? You come first and work comes second.

 

Professional Growth: Your network can be a valuable resource for career growth. You can learn from others’ experiences and insights, helping you navigate the industry more successfully. Our daily group chat is filled with amazing tips and tricks to help you succeed in this industry.

 

Healthy Relationships: Friends who understand your profession are more likely to offer advice on managing personal relationships and maintaining a work-life balance. Their guidance can be priceless. Within our network we meet monthly over zoom forming real friendships between real people.

 

Mutual Support: Remember, your friends and allies need your support too. The give-and-take nature of these relationships can create a strong bond that benefits all involved.

 

In Conclusion

Building a support system in the adult industry is not just beneficial; it’s often essential for your well-being and professional success. The understanding and empathy offered by friends and allies who share your experiences can help you navigate the challenges unique to the industry, reduce the stigma you face, and ultimately lead a more fulfilling life. Seek out these connections, both online and in-person, and remember that there are people who genuinely understand and care about you as a person, not just your profession.

 

Life Coach Emma x

Is your work/life balance out of whack?

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Emma is an International Life Coach, friend and ally to those working within the adult industries. You can contact her here – www.imperfectly-you.com

 

In a world that often blurs the lines between work and personal life, the importance of maintaining a healthy work-life balance is so important. This holds true across all professions, including sex work. The unique challenges and dynamics of this industry make achieving balance all the more vital. Let’s delve into why work-life balance is crucial for sex workers, and how it can be achieved.

1. Preserving Mental and Emotional Well-being:

Engaging in sex work can be emotionally demanding. The intimate nature of the interactions and the potential for encountering difficult or complex situations can take a toll on your mental health. Establishing clear boundaries between work and personal life can help you prevent emotional burnout and fatigue. By allocating time and space to focus on personal well-being, you can recharge and process your emotions in a healthy way. Taking time for yourself matters!

2. Ensuring Physical Health:

Whether sex work involves physical interactions or not, the stressors of the profession can impact your physical health. Erratic schedules, long hours, sitting on a bed all day, contorted into strange positions and using toys regularly can have an effect on your body. Checking in with how you feel physically and noticing when it may be time to rest is crucial. A balanced routine that includes regular exercise/movement, proper nutrition, and sufficient rest is essential for maintaining your physical health.

3. Nurturing Relationships:

Building and nurturing personal relationships can be challenging when coping with the demands of sex work. A healthy work-life balance allows time to be spent with your friends, family, and partners too. It can be tempting to work those extra hours in the evening instead of seeing the ones you love but your close relationships can offer a support system and sense of belonging for you during challenging times.

4. Avoiding Isolation:

The nature of sex work often necessitates secrecy and perhaps working alone most days, which can lead to feelings of isolation. Isolation, in turn, can negatively impact your mental health. A balanced life encourages social interactions and connections outside of your professional space. Engaging in hobbies, social activities, and generally just doing the things you enjoy with others can counteract the isolating effects of leading a double life.

5. Enhancing Productivity and Focus:

When work and personal life become intertwined, it becomes challenging to dedicate focused time to either. Sometimes you may get the feeling of constantly ‘chasing your tail’, not able to wholeheartedly put yourself into work OR just relax. By setting clear boundaries and allocating specific times for work-related activities, you can enhance your productivity during work hours and fully engage in personal activities during your downtime without feeling guilty.

6. Sustaining Longevity:

Without proper work-life balance, the risk of burning out or experiencing emotional exhaustion increases significantly. By prioritising your well-being, you can create a more sustainable and fulfilling career in the long run.

7. Empowerment and Self-Worth:

Achieving work-life balance is an act of empowerment. It communicates to yourself that personal well-being and happiness hold inherent value. By practising self-care and setting boundaries, you can reinforce your self-worth and feel more in control.

In conclusion, work-life balance is a critical aspect for you! By prioritising self-care, setting boundaries, and nurturing personal relationships, you can navigate the unique challenges of your profession while maintaining your mental, emotional, and physical health.

How do you manage your work/life balance?

 

Life Coach Emma x

Active Listening: How to become a better listener

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I’m really grateful to have people in my life that I can talk to when I’m having a hard time. But sometimes I find it difficult to talk to the people that know me best. Their love for me and desire to help me means that they give advice, and share their thoughts and opinions, even when they haven’t been asked for them. Often I can end a conversation feeling like I’ve talked a lot, but I haven’t been heard. I haven’t been listened to.

In our everyday conversations, we can have a tendency to concentrate on thinking about what we are going to say next or simply waiting to talk without engaging with what has previously been said. Additionally, if we are not mindful, we can enter into a conversation ready to provide advice or solutions without asking if that is what our conversation partner wants. When we intentionally give space for the other person to speak and encourage them to give further details as they feel comfortable, by asking open questions, we can build connection, strengthen bonds and deepen our relationships. Allowing space in conversation and asking open questions are some of the skills that are the foundations of Active Listening.

Active Listening requires us to pay close attention to the speaker so that we can absorb, comprehend and reflect what they are saying. When we focus on doing these things we demonstrate empathy, compassion, understanding and respect.

Pineapple Support knows that there are people working within the adult industry that feel isolated and lonely, even though they may have lots of friends or industry connections. Many adult industry workers lack spaces where they can talk freely whilst knowing that they are not going to be judged, and that is why Pineapple Support set up a volunteer-led, 24/7 listening service using the online emotional support platform, 7 Cups of Team. All the volunteers are members of the public and adult industry professionals who are trained in Active Listening especially to help our community.

Through the Pineapple Support 24/7 listening service, anyone who is working in the online adult industry, that wants to talk about whatever is on their mind, can reach out to a trained, compassionate listener. It’s completely anonymous, and there’s no judgement and no problem solving. Just a space to help you clear your head.

Equally, anyone can become a Pineapple Support listener. There’s a short, online training programme which you can work through at your own pace. Once you have successfully completed the course, you can start volunteering straight away. The platform works with any web browser or you can download the app and provide support direct from your mobile phone.

Pineapple Support is always looking to welcome new volunteer listeners. If you’d like to learn or develop Active Listening skills, this is great way to do it. We’re looking forward to you joining us.

Do you feel like you’re living a double life?

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Emma is an International Life Coach, friend and ally to those working within the adult industries. You can contact her here – www.imperfectly-you.com

 

The Choice for Transparency :

At a time when our personal lives are increasingly shared and documented on social media, some sex workers have chosen to embrace a path of transparency and openness about their profession.

These individuals often find empowerment in breaking down the societal stigma associated with sex work. They advertise their services boldly on various online platforms, share their experiences through blogs and social media accounts, and have open conversations with their family and friends about their chosen profession. Their decision to be public about their work reflects a desire for authenticity and a drive to challenge societal norms.

For these sex workers, the journey to public visibility has not been without its challenges. They face judgement and backlash from those who hold more traditional views, and they grapple with the ongoing fight against the pervasive stigma surrounding their occupation. Yet, their commitment to openness serves as a beacon of hope for dismantling these prejudices. By putting a human face on sex work, they are raising awareness, fostering understanding, and advocating for the rights and dignity of all individuals engaged in this line of work.

 

Embracing Anonymity :

On the opposite end of the spectrum, some sex workers opt for anonymity, carefully guarding their secret from all but a select few. These individuals recognize the weight of societal judgement and the potential repercussions that might come from openly acknowledging their involvement in the industry. To maintain a sense of normalcy in their personal lives, they present a different face to the world – one that conforms to societal expectations and avoids the harsh spotlight of scrutiny.

For them, the double life becomes a coping mechanism, allowing them to navigate the complexities of their profession while preserving a semblance of privacy and safety. Balancing between two identities, they navigate the challenges of compartmentalization, carefully choosing who to confide in about their reality. This path may involve creating elaborate narratives to explain their income or time commitments, further underscoring the lengths they go to maintain their chosen level of secrecy.

 

The Spectrum of Experience

Across these potential situations lies a vast spectrum of experiences that encompass the world of sex work. From the outwardly open sex worker to the individual whose parallel life is a closely guarded secret…the range of situations and motivations is as diverse as humanity itself. Some may engage in sex work out of necessity, while others find empowerment and fulfillment in their chosen profession.

No matter where they fall on this spectrum, the shared thread of leading a double life often binds them together. Navigating the intricacies of maintaining separate identities (personal and professional), balancing societal expectations, and grappling with the internal conflicts that can arise is no small feat. The journey can be rife with emotional challenges, as well as moments of triumph when they decide to assert our truth in the face of adversity.

The decision to be public or anonymous is a deeply personal one, influenced by a myriad of factors including societal norms, legal considerations, and personal values. Whether you choose to be an advocate for change by embracing transparency or seek refuge in the shadows of anonymity, the courage and strength required to work in this field should not be underestimated. It is a reminder that every individual’s journey is unique, and your choices deserve respect and understanding.

No matter where you find yourself on the spectrum of sex work visibility, the pursuit of authenticity remains a universal desire. Striking a balance between the various facets of your life, even as you navigate the challenges of leading a double life, is possible. Here are some strategies to help you live authentically, no matter your chosen level of openness:

  1. Self-Awareness and Reflection: Take time to reflect on your motivations, values, and goals. Understand why you’ve chosen the level of visibility that you have. This self-awareness can help you align your actions with your personal values and make intentional decisions about how to present yourself to the world.
  2. Boundary Setting: Whether you’re fully open about your sex work or keeping it private, establish clear boundaries between your personal and professional lives. Clearly define how much information you’re comfortable sharing with different people.
  3. Selective Disclosure: For those who prefer to keep their sex work private, consider identifying a trusted circle of friends or family members to whom you can confide in. Having a support system can provide a space where you can be your authentic self without fear of judgement.
  4. Education and Advocacy: If you’re open about your involvement in sex work, consider using your platform to educate others about the realities of the industry, dispel myths, and advocate for the rights and well-being of sex workers. This proactive approach can empower you and contribute to positive change.
  5. Seek Support: Engaging with others who share similar experiences can be incredibly validating and empowering. Online communities, support groups, and advocacy organisations can offer a safe space to connect, share, and learn from one another.
  6. Prioritise Mental Health: Regardless of your chosen level of visibility, the emotional toll of leading a double life can be significant. Prioritise your mental health by seeking supportive communities, practising self-care, and developing coping strategies to manage stress and emotional challenges.
  7. Authentic Self-Care: Incorporate activities and practices into your life that help you reconnect with your authentic self. This could include pursuing hobbies, spending time with loved ones, or engaging in activities that bring you joy outside of your professional identity.
  8. Embrace Flexibility: Understand that your level of visibility might evolve over time. As you grow, your comfort and willingness to share aspects of your life may change. Embrace this fluidity and adjust your approach as needed.
  9. Challenge Internalised Stigma: If you’re struggling with feelings of shame or guilt related to your involvement in sex work, work on challenging those internalized stigmas. Recognize that your worth is not defined by your profession, and seek out affirming perspectives. You could also speak to a professional who can help you work through these feelings.
  10. Celebrate Small Victories: Living authentically, especially in the face of societal challenges, is an ongoing journey. Celebrate the small victories, whether that’s having an honest conversation with a friend or family member or advocating for change in your community.

In the end, the pursuit of authenticity is a deeply personal journey. While the circumstances and choices of sex workers may vary widely, the shared goal of living authentically bridges the gaps between these experiences.

By honouring your personal values, setting healthy boundaries, seeking support, and advocating for change when possible, you can navigate the complexities of working within the sex industry while still remaining true to yourself.

Remember that your journey is valid, and you have the power to shape your narrative on your own terms.

 

Life Coach Emma x

The Importance of Creating a Work-Life Balance

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We can all struggle with our work-life balance, especially if we work from home. There are times when it’s hard to even remember to eat. At other times, we feel like we would rather do the housework than deal with our paid work duties.
It’s easy to find ourselves in a place whereby we no longer even recognise the difference between work and our real life, thus creating an inequality in our work-life balance. The longer it continues, the harder it can be to even acknowledge that there is an issue.
Some people find that taking a break once or twice a year, to go on holiday and recharge the batteries, is enough. However for those working from home and/or running their own business, find it much harder to switch off and rarely go away for complete rest breaks, or holidays.

Creating a work-life balance is essential for maintaining overall well-being and ensuring that both your professional and personal lives are fulfilling. Here are some strategies to help you achieve a better work-life balance:

·         Set clear boundaries
Clearly define your working hours and personal time. Establish boundaries with your employer, colleagues, and clients to ensure that your personal time is respected.

·         Learn to say no
Don’t take on more than you can handle. Be selective about additional commitments and learn to say no to requests that will overwhelm your schedule or compromise your personal time.

·         Plan and organize
Develop effective planning and organizational systems to manage your time efficiently. Use calendars, to-do lists, and productivity tools to prioritize tasks and minimize wasted time.

·         Make time for self-care
Regularly engage in activities that promote relaxation and well-being, such as meditation, exercise, reading, or spending time in nature.

·         Embrace flexibility
Whenever possible, seek flexible work arrangements that allow you to balance work and personal commitments more effectively.

·         Set boundaries with family and friends
Ensure your loved ones understand the importance of your work commitments and the need for undisturbed work hours. Also, communicate the value of your personal time to them.

·         Prioritize and delegate
Identify your most important tasks and focus on them first. Learn to delegate tasks that can be handled by others, whether at work or home, to lighten your workload.

·         Limit distractions
Minimize distractions at work and home to increase productivity and efficiency. This will allow you to get work done faster, leaving more time for your personal life.

·         Unplug from technology
Disconnect from work-related technology during your personal time to reduce stress and create mental space for relaxation.

·         Communicate with your employer and colleagues
If you find yourself overwhelmed with work, discuss your concerns with your employer or team members. They may be able to offer support or make adjustments to your workload.

·         Avoid overcommitting
Be realistic about what you can accomplish in both your professional and personal life. Overcommitting can lead to burnout and impact your overall well-being.

 

Remember that achieving a work-life balance is an ongoing process, and it may require adjustments as your circumstances change. Be patient with yourself and make small changes to gradually create a more balanced and fulfilling life.

Don’t be afraid of asking for help and never feel guilty about scheduling time for yourself. Pineapple offers various types of support for well-being and your mental and physical health. Remember, someone is only a phone call away.

Stay Safe x

A Magical Hogwarts Workout : Unlocking the Mood-Boosting Power of Exercise – The Cam Girl and The Coach

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Emma is an International Life Coach, friend and ally to those working within the adult industries. You can contact her here – www.imperfectly-you.com

 

The Cam Model story –

The client entered an exclusive chat…

C : ‘Can you do a role play for me?’

‘Erm sure’ I replied…only 1 week into my new camming job

C : ‘I’d love to do a Harry Potter Scene, can you be Hermione and I’ll be the gym teacher?’

‘Yes great’ I said, ‘so how should we start?’

C : ‘You’re in a gym class at Hogwarts school, and I’m about to put you through a sweaty workout – are you sure you’re ready?’

I replied ‘yes of course!’ I also felt pretty smug, this client didn’t know that I was absolutely obsessed with exercise and loved nothing more than a hard-core gym sesh…there’s no way he would break me. I was SO ready…

Half an hour in and we had wall sits (on a dildo) , burpees (whilst sucking a dildo) and full squat reps…yes you’ve guessed it ON TO A DILDO.

My god this guy was relentless, I was absolutely pouring in sweat, mascara melting down my face but adamant that I wouldn’t call for mercy. When I agreed to do this exclusive block session I forgot that it wasn’t going to be just a workout and would obviously involve some sort of sex work – duh, god I was naive in my first week of my new job.

After 45 minutes of a gruelling sweaty dildo fuelled HIIT workout the session finally came to an end with the client finally requesting I scream,

‘I’m Hermione the Hogwarts Gym Slut and I want you to penetrate me with your magical wand dark lord!!!’

Thank fuck that was over….

Afterwards I was swiftly left with a message in my inbox announcing my acceptance into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry, I’d passed the test. This certificate was attached.

 

The effort of this client really was amazing

Even though it was very sweaty, gruelling and tough, the endorphins were flowing and I felt AMAZING. Why is it that exercise can make us feel so goddamn good?!

 

Thoughts from the coach – 

The very first thing I’ll ask a client if they are suffering from low mood is – are you active?

It plays a HUGE part in how we feel about ourselves and the world around us.

Engaging in physical activity triggers the release of chemicals in your brain that contribute to a profound sense of well-being, bolstering self-esteem, improving concentration, quality of sleep, and overall mood.

I personally use exercise to manage my OCD. I had suffered with this since I was a child. After taking up regular exercise in my mid 20’s (I’m now 35) my OCD has been practically non existent. You can read more about my story with Crossfit & OCD here.

Yes my vice was Crossfit, but you don’t have to be as extreme. It can be as varied as a walk in the park, dancing in your living room or gentle stretches.

So, if you’re new to exercise or just starting again what can you do to help yourself?

 

  • Start slowly – don’t push yourself too hard at the beginning. Begin with short sessions and low intensity to give your body time to adapt.
  • Find a workout buddy or a class – Exercising with a friend or in a group can provide motivation, support, and make the experience more enjoyable.
  • Choose activities you enjoy: Find physical activities that you genuinely enjoy doing. It could be dancing, swimming, hiking, cycling, or even a team sport. When you have fun, it becomes easier to stay motivated.
  • Set reminders: Put exercise sessions in your calendar or set reminders on your phone to help you stay on track.
  • Track your progress: Seeing yourself improving is one of the greatest motivators!
  • Get enough rest: Allow your body to recover by getting adequate sleep and incorporating rest days into your exercise routine, this is so important.

Check in with your mind: How did you feel before and after, has your mood improved?

*If you experience pain or discomfort, take a break and consult a healthcare professional if needed.
**dildo also optional

Remember, the key is to start small, stay consistent, and gradually build up your exercise routine. It’s not about perfection; it’s about progress and taking care of your body and mind.
Tomorrow’s ‘you’ will thank you!

Life Coach Emma x

Finding Strength in Slow Times: The Unwavering Resilience of Cam Models – The Cam Girl and the Coach

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Emma is an International Life Coach, friend and ally to those working within the adult industries. You can contact her here – www.imperfectly-you.com

 

Sarah’s story – 

I went from making $250 in an hour to $39 in an hour overnight.

In the business of online camming this is just the way the cookie crumbles.

One day you’re smashing your personal targets and the next there’s virtual tumbleweed blowing through your chat room. Not a soul willing to spend any money with you.

You’re doing the exact same thing you usually do, chatting to customers and giving off the energy that your customers usually LOVE.

When I’m experiencing periods of low income, sometimes it’s difficult to not think it’s my fault. Is it something that I’m doing wrong?

This isn’t like a 9 to 5 where if I’m having an off day I show up, do the bare minimum and still get paid the same.

If I don’t show up and give it my all – I don’t get paid, and sometimes even that isn’t enough. This is why I think that resilience is one of the key traits needed to work in this industry.

What can we do to help ourselves be more resilient during times like these?


Thoughts from the Coach – 

The more than likely reality is that things may be slow due to other reasons that are out of your control. The cam website may be sending less traffic your way, it’s a time of the month where customers haven’t been paid yet or there could be public holidays causing your usual customers to be spending time with their families instead of jerking off online.

Whatever the reason you will never truly know, but rest assured I’m 99.9% sure it’s not your fault.

So let’s discuss resilience….the ability to adapt, bounce back and recover from challenges and setbacks.

Resilient people tap into their strengths and support systems to work through problems. How could this apply when camming?

  1. Prioritize self care – When traffic is slow you may feel the need to work every hour under the sun. This can sometimes be at the cost of your physical, mental, and emotional well-being. It’s important to make time for yourself and avoid overworking by setting hours you are comfortable with and being strict with yourself by not working any longer than this. Engaging in activities that recharge you can also help such as exercise, hobbies, relaxation techniques, or spending time with friends/family.
  2. Set Boundaries – When your room is quiet you may be tempted to offer services, roleplays or situations that you wouldn’t usually consider. Although this may be tempting, if it’s not something you’re comfortable with, don’t do it. Determine what you are comfortable with regarding the content, interactions, and level of engagement you are willing to offer. Communicate these boundaries to your viewers and enforce them consistently. 
  3. Adaptability – If it’s slow on stream how else might you make extra income – can you sell content via mass messaging or other platforms? Perhaps you could drop your price per minute and offer much more PG content like dirty talk for only a fraction of the price.
  4. Social Support – https://www.reddit.com/r/CamGirlProblems/ & https://www.wecamgirls.com/ are great places to connect with other cam models. Having access to supportive relationships and resources in the adult industry can provide emotional, practical, and informational support during difficult times. These types of forums are a great place to ask for advice when times may be slow. Most models on these sites are more than happy to help a fellow model.


Remember – you are powerful, adaptive, creative and resilient! Wishing you a profitable week.

Life Coach Emma x